To think you can’t sit in a pub all evening and not buy a single drunk

[bagpuss90]

I belong to a small ladies group. We used to meet in a bring your own drinks venue. That sadly closed and we now meet in a local pub restaurant. There’s usually around six of us and we book a table. The last couple of times three of them didn’t buy a single thing - not a soft drink , not a coffee. When I said I was going to get a glass of wine - one of them even said “well you would!””. They’re all lovely but aibu to think the venues are struggling and you just can’t do this. Also I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the management say something (I don’t think they’ve noticed so far) to us. I think I’m going to have to broach it on the WhatsApp group

Maybe ok if it’s mid week, the pub probably won’t mind if not busy. Do the ones that don’t have a drink just sit there all evening, presumably they are talking, so must be thirsty. Perhaps put a group message out asking if everyone’s still happy going to the pub, as not everyone orders a drink.

I actually have this issue with my friendship group. There is a group of 5 of us and 2 or 3 have started asking for tap water most places we go to. That means we are taking a table for 5 but the business are only getting 2 or 3 of us actually paying for drinks. Tbh I feel sorry for the businesses and a bit embarrassed. I understand if people are really struggling financially but otherwise, what don't they understand about businesses exist to make a profit or else they shut down?

I voted YANBU I think members of your group are being cheeky.

I went out last Friday with work group, we’ve been out many times, but I chose orange juice because I was so tired. You’d have thought I’d asked to drink the blood of a Nun with the shocked comments of why aren’t I drinking. One person ever refused to toast my glass because she couldn’t handle me not drinking!

Comments like I had and the comment you had op “well you would” when ordering wine makes me want to scream

They shamed you for buying a drink ? Cheeky sods!

Hmmm……if it were my pub those that weren’t buying a drink wouldn’t be cosying up for much longer…..CF springs to mind. Think you need to tell the whole group that they buy a drink or don’t bother joining you and those that do.

My DH had a small chain of catering outlets in local sea-side towns which included a couple of fish & chip shops (with restaurants upstairs), a tea shop & a couple of pubs which did food.

Used to drive him mad when people would take up a table or hours on end having only bought a drink each - especially in high season when he would be turning other customers away as all tables were occupied.

However there are ways of politely moving customers on. You can ask if they want anything else, clear the table & present them with the bill. This usually worked.

However, having done all of the above, more than once he's had to approach them & politely say that, since they've finished & don't want anything else, although their custom is valued, there are other people who would like to eat & drink so would they like to move to the bar (in the case of his pubs) or...well...thank you for your business, but we need your table in the case of the fish & chip shops. He occasionally got a negative response, but usually people would see the families waiting for a table & move on.

It's not a public place or a library or whatever, it is a business and they don't have a 'right' to use it for free. They would be well within their rights to refuse a table booking, and lots of places would if not used for food or whatever.

what are you meeting for , they all sound boring as hell

They are ignorant CFs and probably cheapskates too. Management should tell them to leave unless they order something.

I don't admire their guts, they should feel ashamed and embarrassed. A pub isn't a free meeting place.

YANBU. I used to go to a craft group that met in a pub - we’d all buy one drink at least. Such a cheek not to, IMO.

Yanbu. I think its embarrassing and cheeky

I think I would put a message on the group along the lines of...

Hi all, such a shame we can't use .... venue anymore. Just thinking about where we can make our new permanent home? The pub isnt ideal as obviously it brings about a charge for food/drink as we can't really use the space without buying anything long term...not really fair on the pub
How about whilst the weather is nice we meet at such park? Or look at taking turns of hosting in houses? Happy for any suggestions? Its such a great group and would hate for us to become homeless but don't think the pub is a viable option if we dont all fancy a drink or food each week.

i end up at meetings at pubs semi-regularly. It’s kind of a thing in our area. The pub agrees to host on a quiet night and even reserves the tables in a section for us. The attendees all understand that we at least buy a drink and some have snacks or a meal. The community relationship would stop if we didn’t hold up our end of the bargain.

Local U3a is starting a knitting and crochet group at 10am in a pub. It says hot and cold drinks available. I would expect to buy at least 1 over the 2 hour meeting.

I used to work in a pub that had a quiz night every Tuesday. Every week there were 2-3 groups of ‘professional’ quizsters. They paid the £2.50 quiz fee and then didn’t spend a single penny. One of the groups usually won the top prize (usually a bottle of wine -no high stakes!) but they were so annoying - glasses of tap water and they’d eat the free snacks we sometimes put on. We never kicked them out but perhaps we should have.

I belong to a craft group that meets in a pub every week and the only rule that the group organiser is very clear on is that we must buy a drink. Even if it’s just one and it’s a soda water or something. We’re getting the table for free so it’s the least we could do. We all cooperate and we all buy something. Some even have food if we’re inThe mood.

the members of your group are CF’s

I'm a bit confused... so they don't order anything at all? Of any sort?

Or do they order food, just no drinks?

I don't really drink alcohol or soft drinks, only really drink water or coffee, so that would be me, as no coffee after midday. Most of our group are the same, just drink tap water (quite a few performance athletes that are careful with food) or a Coke at a push. We would all have decent food spend though, and tip well if we weren't particularly hungry and only ordered small amounts. Eg 10 quid bill and 50-100% tip on top.

We tend to go at quiet times, too, e.g. Tuesday 3pm, quiet village pub.

That's me, I can make a drink last all evening. I don't see the problem with that if other people have more than one.

I can't bear people who won't part with a couple of quid to even buy a soft drink/tea in a pub. Just bloody have something! Don't be so awkward.

Answer to that should have been 'Then from next time we'll have to find a different venue as this is a pub and we can't not buy drinks. Any ideas for somewhere else?'

Agree with this, great idea.

I'm finding it harder and harder to find decent soft drinks in pubs and restaurants as most of them now contain artificial sweeteners. Unless they have bottled Coke or Appletise I'm stuck. I don't drink tea or coffee either so that only leaves me with water and I begrudge paying for that! I'd probably end up buying a small bottle of water and make it last.

I don’t drink anything but water, I don’t like the taste of alcohol or tea/coffee or soft drinks. I’m happy to pay for bottled water though, they’re being CFers expecting to meet in an establishment and not buy anything. If I go to a restaurant I buy bottled water and don’t ask for tap water even although I prefer it.

They sound worse than the idiots who order hot water at a cafe and sneak in their own teabag. Major cheeky fuckers and the pub workers are probably already bitching about you all.

I think you have to accept either rotating around your homes, or paying for space - church or village halls can be rented very cheaply. If you aren't willing to pay for space directly you'll have to buy drinks/food as appropriate!