To think you can’t sit in a pub all evening and not buy a single drunk

[bagpuss90]

I belong to a small ladies group. We used to meet in a bring your own drinks venue. That sadly closed and we now meet in a local pub restaurant. There’s usually around six of us and we book a table. The last couple of times three of them didn’t buy a single thing - not a soft drink , not a coffee. When I said I was going to get a glass of wine - one of them even said “well you would!””. They’re all lovely but aibu to think the venues are struggling and you just can’t do this. Also I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the management say something (I don’t think they’ve noticed so far) to us. I think I’m going to have to broach it on the WhatsApp group

I'm finding it harder and harder to find decent soft drinks in pubs and restaurants as most of them now contain artificial sweeteners.

I've yet to find a pub that doesn't serve orange & apple juice!

The choice of non alcohol drinks is better than it's ever been.

Absolutely. Pubs have lots of overheads.

You could have a picnic in the park.. or just buy a lime & soda ffs

Lime and soda price varies hugely. We drink at lots of different pubs in our walking group and last summer I kept a list of prices. Varied from 50 to £3.20! I agree that everyone should purchase a drink. We have one lady who gets a soda water (free) but the rest of us buy a drink and only stay 1hr max so that’s not so bad but i’d never sit there all evening and not buy a drink. Some week day evenings they don’t have much custom in some of the pubs we drink in so good for a group of us to all buy min 1 drink.

I used to be in a group that met up once a month. There was discussion about where we should have future meetings, and I suggested a small, independent, coffee shop owned by people I know. This suggestion was entirely dismissed, as apparently the group had been meeting there but were barred for no good reason, and the owners were "really snotty." This didn't align with what I knew of the coffee shop owners, so I asked them (the coffee shop owners) about it later. It turned out some members of the group had started bringing their own drinks in, and it had escalated to bringing home-baking in so they didn't have to buy anything in the coffee shop. All while pushing 2 or 3 tables together so they could sit in a large group and totally dominate the entire space and prevent paying customers from sitting down.

I never went back to that group.

Only if you like artificial sweeteners or drinks on draught! I'm picky about what fruit juices I drink and if that's all I can have I definitely make it last all night as I can't drink loads of fruit juice.

I used to like J2O but that's been ruined. Some smaller pubs have similar drinks but I always feel awkward asking to read the ingredients on the bottle before I order, especially in restaurants hence sticking to bottled Coke or Appletise at a push.

It’s incredibly rude.

I would write on the group chat and suggest meeting somewhere else because it seems rude to use a venue and not buy anything whilst there.

I think it’s actually really odd behaviour!
Is there a leader? And they potentially think it should be them buying the drinks.

Once a quarter, we have our work meeting at the local pub. I can’t imagine going and not buying anything!

Well if everyone was like you there'd be even more pubs closing down than there already are.
What will people do when there's no pub to sit in?
Stay at home and have even less community contact than they do now?

"I'd leave it to the pub to deal with tbh."

The pub may well shame the whole group so no, I wouldn't do this. They're embarrassing the OP.

Yep. I remember a friend trying to do this in Amsterdam, but it was waiter service and he was told very clearly that he was not at the library.
No adult should be doing this!

Depends what she means by 'all evening' tbh. One drink every hour or two is OK.

They're not gonna pay for room hire if they won't pay for a coke are they?

Do you pay to use the room or just come along meet at a table.
I would be same mindset to you should at least make a purchase. When it was byo location did they bring/pay

i used to go to a pub quiz. I was amazed at the cfs who attended every week, had a glass of tap water each, and then more often than not won the quiz !

There was also a team who had a member who scooted in at the last minute (thereby swerving the £1 entry fee) and then got out her own flask of tea. (Admittedly the other team members grumbled about her in her absence.)

No wonder the publicans left and there was no more quiz 😭

It's pretty clear they're not paying for a room at the pub so should be consuming.

2 or 3 have started asking for tap water most places we go to. My DD had a weekend job in a busy local coffee shop. One group meet each Sunday morning, staying for two hours, one arrives early to bag the best (window) table and 5 or 6 others join. The early arrival brings a flask.
Once everyone arrives, 3 ask for tap water and two of them will order a coffee, this totals £7.50. So they take up a sixth of the venue paying £3.75 per hour for the privilege, not including 8.30am til 9.15 time slot when the table is being excluded from any other potential users.The group concerned are very unlikely to be struggling for money since their shared interest is an expensive hobby. The cafe would receive £22.50 ph if full and everyone behaved in this manner. DD (17) gets £10ph, other (over 18) staff member gets £12.50ph.
Why can't customers understand that these businesses will cease to exist unless they are supported? The costs on top of staff are huge.
Can it be that some people genuinely believe pubs, coffee shops etc. are supported by some central fund and exist so they can use the loo or have free water whenever they fancy it?

I hate this, it’s so cringe and rude. Had a work drinks recently and one woman came and didn’t buy a single drink. People offered to buy her a drink and she still said no. I don’t think people understand what pubs are for or how they work. It makes me so embarrassed for them.

Yeah I was less than impressed at paying more for a shandy than the bloke next to me paid for a beer!! & their soda & lime is £4 What is even more ridiculous is that they don't even charge (I found out later!) for a soda So I paid an extortionate amount for a squeeze of lime! 🙇🏻‍♀️

@bagpuss90 her comment was rude, I'd have said something like 'yes, it's traditional to buy a drink in a pub, it's incredibly rude not to'

Personally in your situation, unless I was the organiser, I'd buy myself a second drink & hope it makes up for the ones who don't). If I was the organiser I'd definitely message the group to say we will have to look at other venues if people aren't prepared to buy at least one drink or food as it's a pub, running a business, not a charity!

Pub Landlady here!
We love having groups & friends meet & don't expect everyone to spend a fortune.
We regularly host book clubs, storytelling evenings, dungeon & dragons clubs etc & are happy to offer the space for free - but hospitality has some huge costs, including staff, heating, lighting, water - I could go on.
It's not a lot to expect just 1 purchase per person be it alcoholic, soft, coffee/tea to be in the venue & make use of the space.
Support your local - we do a lot of good for a lot of community events but we have bills to pay like everyone else just to keep the doors open.

The owner or manager should grow a pair and tell the CF with the flask to fuck off!

Not really my problem. I don't see how it's an issue if DH and I go out and I have one drink and he has a couple of pints. We rarely go out because of the prices these days so providing he's drinking why should I have to?

for me if im at a cafe eg tescos or asda i at least buy a cuppa tea for a bit then use the wifi etc for an hour or 2 if its not busy. or if just needing the toilet then its a donation etc

I'm sure they're watching and taking note, if it is costing them to have a table taken up they won't be long about telling you all to order or leave .

I hate it myself when I go out and a place is full and people using tables and not eating or drinking just reading a book or on their phone and you just want to sit down and grab a bite to eat.

So you are booking a table for six or seven people and nobody is buying anything?? 😮
I find this hard to believe or understand. Even if I was buying my own drink 🍷 I would cringe thinking that the others are so hard faced to sit there not buying a thing. It’s totally embarrassing.😳 I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the manager of the venue doesn’t comment very soon and refuse to let you host the club there. I think you should say something to your friends and warn them that the venue’s owner or managers most likely won’t put up with it for much longer.