To think you can’t sit in a pub all evening and not buy a single drunk

[bagpuss90]

I belong to a small ladies group. We used to meet in a bring your own drinks venue. That sadly closed and we now meet in a local pub restaurant. There’s usually around six of us and we book a table. The last couple of times three of them didn’t buy a single thing - not a soft drink , not a coffee. When I said I was going to get a glass of wine - one of them even said “well you would!””. They’re all lovely but aibu to think the venues are struggling and you just can’t do this. Also I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the management say something (I don’t think they’ve noticed so far) to us. I think I’m going to have to broach it on the WhatsApp group

I'm really cringing for those who don't buy anything. How do they think businesses work?

I'm surprised you weren't all asked to leave.

The sense of entitlement is strong.

Especially making a sarcastic remark when you actually bought an alcoholic drink in a pub.

Horrible woman.

No it’s not ok - if you book a table in a pub or other venue that’s not been paid for by a separate fee you should buy an initial drink then at least one every hour/90 minutes or so eg if I’m there 3 hours i think a minimum of 2 drinks to be reasonable. Coffee, tea, soft drinks etc absolutely fine but buying nothing is not, it’s a community service

I was part of a committee of volunteers who used to meet in our struggling only village pub. Most of them not only didn't buy a thing but also brought THEIR OWN DRINKS from home in travel mugs etc. I was always cringing with embarrassment. None of these people were struggling with money either but they were all a good bit younger than me so maybe it's a bit of etiquette not passed down. They were nice people apart from this.

Deleted soz, I thought you meant they had food but no drink.

Even if the pub is otherwise empty that is rude. If you can't afford to buy something - coffee, soft drink, bag of crisps - you should arrange to meet outdoors or apologise and miss the meet up. I bet some of you are using their toilets too. It will be embarrassing if staff have to tell you all to leave.

I don’t know how people have the nerve to do this.

They’re all lovely

They don't sound lovely OP. They sound entitled and tight-fisted, both of which are traits I like to avoid in people I socialise with!

Not ok. They are piggybacking on the fact that you and 2 others are buying a drink.

It seems to be worse because it’s a restaurant where you need to book a table. Another customer could have that and spend £100+.

Seems you've misread.
I've already acknowledged that the pub in question has a reasonable expectation to provide services to paying guests and is not responsible for providing a public services.

The sad thing is, that the general shared public space doesn't have good options for people to meet and chat without the expectations of spending money.

A walk or free museum are hardly a good choice for an evening meeting, when people just want to sit with friends with access to water and toilet. This shouldn't be a privilege of the more healthy wealthy ones.

Edit: bad autocorrect

Loathe embarrassingly tight people I would leave this group

Pubs are struggling. If people do this kind of thing the pub won’t be there when you need it.

"you would" is not the comment of a lovely person

A walk or free museum are hardly a good choice for an evening meeting, when people just want to sit with friends with access to water and toilet. This shouldn't be a privilege of the more healthy wealthy ones.

Presumably they all have homes. Perhaps they could take it in turns to host, if actually paying for a drink in a pub is beneath them?

The one who said ‘well, you would’, is decidedly not lovely. Anyone turning up to a pub, a business with running costs not a charity! and not buying at least one drink of any sort, is a CF.

‘You would’ is passive aggressive and very rude. I’d leave the group and I would tell them it’s because of rudeness towards you and because you can’t socialise with people who won’t even buy a drink.

I accidentally voted YABU!! You are absolutely right Op. Everyone knows pubs
are struggling these days.

I know of someone who ran a bar and used to talk about the 'half a pint of lemonade brigade' who did at least buy that, but then sat there nursing the one drink all evening and not buy anything else. A business cannot make a profit from these people.
You need to call these folk out on this, whatever their reasons for not buying. And if they don't want to buy, then you're going to have to look at using a venue elsewhere, which will probably have to be paid for. Would they rather contribute to that?

Well imagine if you all decided not to buy a drink! The staff probably aren't approaching considering some of you are paying customers. If you all didn't buy a drink you'd be told to purchase or leave. So effectively the ones buying drinks are subsidising the others, as it's only your business that allows the group to stay.

I would also ask if everyone is happy with the pub as you've noticed not everyone has a drink - and ask for other suggestions. Hiring a room would cost more than a lime and soda though! Very uncomfortable situation.

How embarassing OP. Some people can turn off their concience when it comes to money. Been there with tight people, refusing to leave a tip for meals in restaurants, quibbling over bills ('I didn't have a drink' but eating the most expensive thing on the menu) Needless to say, not doing that anymore.🙄

They could at least buy an orange juice or Perrier to sip!

That is really cheeky. How has it not occurred to them that the pub has utility overheads. They’re sat at their furniture using their lighting and possibly using their toilet as a bare minimum!

And they sound like complete tight arses as well.