To think I’m not a nice person?

[He1h]

I CAN be nice but overall I don’t think I am. There are genuine sentiments I feels where I want to do the right thing or where I feel genuine empathy towards someone. Mainly family or close friends which I guess is normal.

But there’s so many things I hear about where I basically can’t understand how anyone could be bothered… examples…

Stepping on a snail or killing a spider in your home. I feel nothing, maybe a mild acknowledgment that it’s a bit cruel but a few seconds later I’m over it.

My friend’s family pet died when she was in her late twenties and she was devastated for around 3 weeks. I thought it was ridiculous (I didn’t say that obviously).

People getting bothered when they’re above the age of 18 and their birthday can’t be celebrated on that specific day.. who cares?!

Gender reveals… I literally could not give a fuck what gender your baby is, I do not want to have a ‘reveal’ because I am simply not interested.

When someone’s child is crying at a park of soft play because they want the toy my child has…I have zero compassion and just want said child to go away.

Whoever is about to cross the road and I could slow down and stop, I don’t, even if elderly. I simply don’t care.

If my toddler needs to use the disabled bathroom when we are out, and the baby changing is in there, I will actively rush past a wheelchair user on their way in (if I can manage it in a socially acceptable way). I don’t care that they may need it more than me/DD.

There’s lots more. I can be very kind and considerate but largely I think I’m mostly about myself/immediate family and couldn’t care less about anything else. I often think I will make up for this shitty behaviour later on in life. Then of course I don’t. How awful are these things? Am I just a bit shit?

Haven’t RTFT, but try reading “Sociopath” by Patric Gagne- not suggesting you are one, but it may interest you.

With you on gender reveals and people who bring their babies into the workplace to show them off, as if random co workers will be the least interested

She doesn't want to sound like an average person - she is just seeking attention or a Troll who just wants people to get mad at her posts. I can't be bothered as they are really quite dull.

No interest in gender reveal (find it a bit distasteful) but am a random interested Co-worker.

You cannot be serious. This is just cluck bait.

Calling yourself nasty names won't help. And if you feel compassion and you're sometimes kind then you're definitely not a sociopath or psychopath. You say you don't want to be this way. If you really want to change then almost certainly you can.

Work in small steps. Choose one of these situations you've described and decide on one small improvement you could make. It sounds like you've been acting automatically, without thinking. You'll need to make a commitment to yourself that the next time you're in this situation you'll act differently. When you succeed, reward yourself. Then just keep going, one small step at a time.

Op if most people on this thread admitted it they'd agree with at least one or two of these. I couldn't care less about gender reveals (attention seeking imo) and would get annoyed at a kid wanting my kid's toy and kicking off about it. But the toilet thing obviously isn't very considerate and the slowing down at a crossing i'm guessing what you mean is that you could slow and let them past before you but you just chose to go first, not a safety thing, just not putting strangers, not others, first - as you've said friends and family are different which im sure a lot of people are like you they just don't admit it, but those 2 examples aren't that nice admittedly. People are very quick here to tell you how horrific a human you are, you're not a sociopath by any means, maybe just a bit selfish and inconsiderate which im sure a lot of people are. Asking this sort of thing won't do you any good unless you've got thick skin to take a lot of ott backlash from the self righteous 😃

A

I agree with this. Your emotions feel flat by your description. You are not a sociopath, you wouldn’t care about this if you were. I think you should ask your GP for a referral to a counselling service or a psychologist.

The OP got the little bit of attention she sought
The OP won’t be back.

I think that the Op was imagining a chorus of

“me too OP!!!”

The OP’s mistake was including the disabled toilet twattery and, to some extent, the elderly crossing of the road example. I don’t think the Op thought those two through carefully when she included!

There are some absolutely massive hypocrites on this thread. Making nasty, spiteful and judgemental remarks about someone who is clearly struggling, and trying to understand is awful.

Oh hush now

No. I won’t.

We are all ears?

I think you’ve just shut down emotionally and internally following a challenging and shitty period in your life. Therapy and maybe a few circumstantial changes might help first before you write yourself off as a ‘horrible person’. We often berate ourselves for our survival reactions to things that happen to/ around us, when really, they’re absolutely normal and help us cope. But they do need unpicking if we want to live well again. Good luck, OP

Apart from the gender reveal I think you might be on your own. Not slowing down and being a decent member of society is probably the most worrying. You may have a disorder OP?

You’re not meant to just stop randomly though as that is also dangerous

Perfect post ❤️

Also this - the amount of times I’ve had to slam the brakes on because someone in front of me has done the same to let someone cross the road in busy rush hour traffic and they’re not at a pedestrian crossing. That’s why we have pedestrian crossings!

Indeed and when someone is let across the road the driver can’t assume they’ll look for traffic the other way

I have come back to the thread and read your replies. You didn’t actually push past a disabled person who was waiting in front of you so it sounded worse than it was.
you had empathy before but have had a tough few years. I think you are either on medication for depression which numbs your feelings or you are suffering with depression. It can make you more self absorbed. Have a chat with your dr. Are you getting any joy out of your life? I am sorry my first post was unkind.

You do sound a bit odd. Get some counselling to understand why you behave this way. It will bite you on the arse on day…

Yep.

I think there’s more to this, I don’t think you’re just a “horrible person” I don’t believe in that dichotomy - go and see someone non judgmental and explore it further.