To think I’m not a nice person?

[He1h]

I CAN be nice but overall I don’t think I am. There are genuine sentiments I feels where I want to do the right thing or where I feel genuine empathy towards someone. Mainly family or close friends which I guess is normal.

But there’s so many things I hear about where I basically can’t understand how anyone could be bothered… examples…

Stepping on a snail or killing a spider in your home. I feel nothing, maybe a mild acknowledgment that it’s a bit cruel but a few seconds later I’m over it.

My friend’s family pet died when she was in her late twenties and she was devastated for around 3 weeks. I thought it was ridiculous (I didn’t say that obviously).

People getting bothered when they’re above the age of 18 and their birthday can’t be celebrated on that specific day.. who cares?!

Gender reveals… I literally could not give a fuck what gender your baby is, I do not want to have a ‘reveal’ because I am simply not interested.

When someone’s child is crying at a park of soft play because they want the toy my child has…I have zero compassion and just want said child to go away.

Whoever is about to cross the road and I could slow down and stop, I don’t, even if elderly. I simply don’t care.

If my toddler needs to use the disabled bathroom when we are out, and the baby changing is in there, I will actively rush past a wheelchair user on their way in (if I can manage it in a socially acceptable way). I don’t care that they may need it more than me/DD.

There’s lots more. I can be very kind and considerate but largely I think I’m mostly about myself/immediate family and couldn’t care less about anything else. I often think I will make up for this shitty behaviour later on in life. Then of course I don’t. How awful are these things? Am I just a bit shit?

People judge others by their own standards. I like to think my standards of civilised behaviour is quite high as I have a really low tolerance of uncivilised/ignorant behaviour. No one is perfect and we probably all have negative thoughts at times we wouldn’t want to reveal, but I agree there’s nothing refreshingly honest in being so overt in those thoughts as to actually carry them out.

Surely we all appreciate a bit of civility, it’s actually not that difficult.

I like to hear differing opinions. Society had made everyone think a certain way, feel a certain way. They're too scared to really tell their feelings honestly. Why can't you feel irritated by things? Why can't you feel that your children are more important than the elderly neighbour?
Why is having an opinion so wrong???

And at junctions when you’re turning into a road? Highway Code Rule 70

too harsh

Why am I not surprised you didn’t understand

Do you have any bad qualities? Or are you completely perfect?

Another one who can’t seem to grasp there a middle ground between perfection and the OP

You’re child is likely on the way to becoming a monster judging by the example you say you are setting. You seem oddly proud of yourself.

Are you a terrible person. Of course not. I think you display behaviour and a way of thinking, where your empathy is limited to close relationships. You wouldn’t go out of your way to harm someone but your convenience is more of a priority for you. I do not think you are alone and I think it’s important to acknowledge that you acknowledge that these are some of your traits, many don’t.

I can not diagnose you because I don’t know you and more importantly, I AM NOT QUALIFIED to. So please ignore the posters broadcasting their ignorance over things they know nothing about.

In the examples given, I too would give zero fucks about a gender reveal. I’ve been killing fruit flies all day but I would rescue a spider, if I could but wouldn’t tear up if I failed. I would be the first to offer help with luggage, pushchairs etc but I would most likely smile and nod when someone is having a tough time, I sympathise rather than empathise. Nothing triggers an eye role from me more than someone describing themselves as an empath🤑.

You aren’t doing anything wrong.

Because you know it doesn’t make sense? :)

All joking aside, you don’t think calling the OP a psychopath and a monster because she’s not stopping to let people cross the street is hyperbole ? It’s not like she’s trying to mow them down.

Sure, ok, let’s go with that 😊

People gotta stop relying before I finish editing damn it. What’s the big hurry?? 😆

I mean…. You do see the irony don’t you? 🤞

You haven’t bothered to read my posts

I didn’t call the op a psychopath
I didn’t call the op a monster

As for others, perhaps if they’re wheel chair bound and have pissed themselves as a woman with a toddler (in a nappy fgs so hardly an emergency) rushed past to use the one disabled toilet in the shopping centre (and says even if she knew they “needed it more”… she wouldn’t care)… then you may well use these terms to describe the op

Not really

I didn’t call the op a psychopath
I didn’t call the op a monster

No but other people on the thread have. I was asking if you thought that was hyperbole

Well you are very honest, but you are right, you are not very nice.

Of course I can grasp it. I don’t know how you got that from what I said.
But I like your scale - one end is perfection and the other end is OP?

Wow 😂😂😂😂😂

Just to add - my original point was that nobody is perfect, and any of us could start a thread listing our worst qualities (because we ALL have bad qualities) and we would all get lambasted in the same way.

You seemed to have missed that.

A lot of people on this thread could start one of their own saying something along the lines of “Am I a bad person? I go on to forums and tell the OP they are a psychopath and a shitty person and kick them when they’re clearly down because I think I know better” and guess what? They would be attacked for it.

I clearly can't dx you online, b7t yes, I think this is unusual. You seem extremely self absorbed. Maybe sociopathy, maybe narcissistic (I doubt this as most wouldn't bother asking! ). Ultimately I don't know. Sounds like you don't either. If it bothers you seek therapy...

We could have a section on Mumsnet where we confess our bad thoughts.

I'm glad double denim has come back in fashion.

You sound like a class A arse if I’m frankly honest - but you also seem to be actively revelling in your socially unacceptable behaviour, which makes it even worse. I reckon paying for a few sessions with a therapist might be helpful in digging into why your instinctive reaction to everyday situations is to be so cold and uncaring.
I often react to situations badly, but afterwards feel like an utter s* which is what possibly sets you apart. Honestly, I’d try to get it sorted - we get one chance at this life and I’d hate to think I’d used it so poorly.

I feel like you are coming on here with this outpouring and expecting us all to reject you. Maybe that's what you want - to prove to yourself that you are not a nice person. Does that align with how you see yourself? Anyone who deliberately kills a living thing: a snail, a spider, any defenceless creature, is not a decent human being in my book. But it's up to a higher power to judge your actions, not me. Maybe if you really want to get to the root cause of your behaviour, it might be worth considering therapy, especially if you are as unhappy as you sound.

Go see a phsycoanalyst they could help u get to the bottom of this, it will be linked to your childhood....