To think I’m not a nice person?

[He1h]

I CAN be nice but overall I don’t think I am. There are genuine sentiments I feels where I want to do the right thing or where I feel genuine empathy towards someone. Mainly family or close friends which I guess is normal.

But there’s so many things I hear about where I basically can’t understand how anyone could be bothered… examples…

Stepping on a snail or killing a spider in your home. I feel nothing, maybe a mild acknowledgment that it’s a bit cruel but a few seconds later I’m over it.

My friend’s family pet died when she was in her late twenties and she was devastated for around 3 weeks. I thought it was ridiculous (I didn’t say that obviously).

People getting bothered when they’re above the age of 18 and their birthday can’t be celebrated on that specific day.. who cares?!

Gender reveals… I literally could not give a fuck what gender your baby is, I do not want to have a ‘reveal’ because I am simply not interested.

When someone’s child is crying at a park of soft play because they want the toy my child has…I have zero compassion and just want said child to go away.

Whoever is about to cross the road and I could slow down and stop, I don’t, even if elderly. I simply don’t care.

If my toddler needs to use the disabled bathroom when we are out, and the baby changing is in there, I will actively rush past a wheelchair user on their way in (if I can manage it in a socially acceptable way). I don’t care that they may need it more than me/DD.

There’s lots more. I can be very kind and considerate but largely I think I’m mostly about myself/immediate family and couldn’t care less about anything else. I often think I will make up for this shitty behaviour later on in life. Then of course I don’t. How awful are these things? Am I just a bit shit?

She's not wrong in the general message though. And OP hasn't always felt this way, something has changed, so that makes it less likely to be autism. She is probably burned out or experienced some trauma.

No, you're not being a big shit. You're being a big baby.

So you’re just a complete bum hole of a person putting your own needs before anyone one else?
I think most women on here strive not to be you.
You’re alright, fuck anyone else. Grow the fuck up. Please don’t breed. From what you’ve posted you seem to think it’s funny. It’s not. You’re just such an arsehole that every one who comes across you is forced to endure. Props on being an insufferable person who enjoys pissing other people off. Don’t think you’re special. You’re in the lack of decent IQ so much so that you’re happy to be a bitch and trot along. You might be one in a million of hard faced bitches but there’s a fair few of them who post to wanting to know how behave like a decent person. Learn as a fully functioning adult or off you trot to keep on being an unreasonable bitch. Are you proud of yourself? You shouldn’t be. Scum.

I won’t say psychopathy but I am no expert.

To me, you come across as self centred which a lot of people are - only caring about their interest or their immediate family’s. I am basing my opinion especially on these examples of you trying to bypass a wheelchair user to use disabled loo or not caring to slow down for elderly or finding friend OTT for grieving for her beloved pet.

I find people who only think of themselves and immediate families are not nice people because we live in a society and not in some Darwin’s book of survival- every person for themselves kind of world. Sorry that’s not personal but that’s my opinion given your examples.

I know people who like you are incredibly self focussed and they are basically inconsiderate twats.

You said this in op -

I will actively rush past a wheelchair user on their way in (if I can manage it in a socially acceptable way). I don’t care that they may need it more than me/DD.

seems like you think your time/ need is more important than others.

Have you ever considered that you may be neurodivergent? I’m not trying to imply that all neurodivergent people are self absorbed or lack empathy and consideration for others however alot of adults and children that I have worked with in my experience have shown a lack of empathy regarding situations similar to what you have described when relating to others but have the ability to feel sympathy/empathy for themselves or specific people. Also I am aware that there is a lot more that would be factored into whether someone is neurodivergent or not however as a neurodivergent myself I can’t say I can relate to any of what you have said as a reflection of my own character but due to my experience with work and family members it did make me wonder.

This post seems like the common curse of modern day selfishness and entitlement. This said, as I have got older I have had to learn boundaries with some. Being the nice, supportive person all the time can be wearing. But I would still treat others as I expect to be treated. OP does sound self centred.

Ime, the really not-nice people are those who think they're are, not those who think they might not be.

Op could you be adhd or autistic these are common traits

I think you’re a standard human OP, in the sense that we all do wrong things.
you’ve just been open about them.. I think if everyone digs deep, they will find ugly traits.
You’re reflecting on them which is good.

You sound very selfish and self absorbed, everything is about you with absolutely no consideration for other people and how they feel.

I think these are all pretty normal. I don't feel a lot of sympathy for other people's obnoxious kids myself. Rushing in front of wheel chair users is very rude though, don't do that. I find it helps if you think about things in terms of etiquette and politeness, which is needed for social functioning, rather than in a more nebulous idea of 'being kind/do unto others'.

Agree but what does a wheelchair user do if there is already a wheelchair user using the facility?

There are numerous ways to open up your heart which will, in turn bring you so much joy. Sounds like a serious lack of empathy. I hope this changes for you as there is a lot of pleasure that can be taken in compassionate living.

Would you say you had an entitled childhood? Doesn’t sound like you’ve experienced much hardship which would’ve helped you connect with the struggles of others.

I spent a long time rescuing a moth from my bath yesterday. It was so tricky as I didn’t want to damage its wings. Once it was out and drying in the sun I felt so happy. I love letting people out when I’m driving, especially taxi drivers as they must get so tired of the traffic and people generally don’t let them out.

i’ve taught my children compassionate living from day dot. It’s the law of our house and has made for a happy home.

Good luck. It’s in you somewhere! 🌱

We wait.

But I can count on the fingers of 1 hand how many times there has been another disabled person in there... vs the times when there has been a clearly not disabled person (clearly not because they've admitted it as they've come out) I've run out of fingers and toes!

I’m sorry but you sound like an awful person.

rushing past a wheelchair user and not caring is gross.

I hope you raise your kids to be kind and care about others but by they sound as if they will lack compassion too.

You're just rude. Have you been raised with no manners at all?

Has your behaviour changed at all since having kids? Since becoming a parent myself I’ve found some other parents to be the most outwardly selfish people I’ve encountered. The ‘but my kid/ family is special’ attitude. Lots of people only seem to care about their own bubble and screw everyone else. I sometimes wonder if these parents aren’t coping very well so struggle to be adaptable if something isn’t 100% their way. Or maybe they’re just selfish. Either way it’s very crappy behaviour to model to your children and will no doubt result in bratty entitled children too.

I guess a positive is that you know you’re being unkind and are looking at therapy. I think lots of people have no clue how selfish they are.

Is the sad face for real?

Like, did you feel truly sad when you wrote the post, or was it because you felt it was socially expected?

The former? You're not sociopathic or psychopathic.

The latter? You possibly are.

Yanbu...you sound horrid!
But at least you are honest!

The only thing I agree with is if your child has a toy and the other child wants it...other child should wait their turn. It does kids no favours to feel they can take from others if they throw a tantrum. Ok....we could model sharing the toy like playing with a doll together ....that is a better outcome but most adults don't like sharing really.

If I bought a beautiful new car and my friend wanted to take it for a drive as she fancied it I wouldn't let her.

Depressed people are not selfish.