To think I’m not a nice person?

[He1h]

I CAN be nice but overall I don’t think I am. There are genuine sentiments I feels where I want to do the right thing or where I feel genuine empathy towards someone. Mainly family or close friends which I guess is normal.

But there’s so many things I hear about where I basically can’t understand how anyone could be bothered… examples…

Stepping on a snail or killing a spider in your home. I feel nothing, maybe a mild acknowledgment that it’s a bit cruel but a few seconds later I’m over it.

My friend’s family pet died when she was in her late twenties and she was devastated for around 3 weeks. I thought it was ridiculous (I didn’t say that obviously).

People getting bothered when they’re above the age of 18 and their birthday can’t be celebrated on that specific day.. who cares?!

Gender reveals… I literally could not give a fuck what gender your baby is, I do not want to have a ‘reveal’ because I am simply not interested.

When someone’s child is crying at a park of soft play because they want the toy my child has…I have zero compassion and just want said child to go away.

Whoever is about to cross the road and I could slow down and stop, I don’t, even if elderly. I simply don’t care.

If my toddler needs to use the disabled bathroom when we are out, and the baby changing is in there, I will actively rush past a wheelchair user on their way in (if I can manage it in a socially acceptable way). I don’t care that they may need it more than me/DD.

There’s lots more. I can be very kind and considerate but largely I think I’m mostly about myself/immediate family and couldn’t care less about anything else. I often think I will make up for this shitty behaviour later on in life. Then of course I don’t. How awful are these things? Am I just a bit shit?

You’re French aren’t you?

And just to be a bit of a pain and go against everyone else…. I’m pretty sure that most people secretly do these things (maybe not all of them all of the time) but would never admit it.

I am far far too nice and if karma does exist, she hates me, cos I never get anything good happen. It’s just shit piled upon shit. And when on the very few occasions I have done something like ones you’ve mentioned, I must admit I’ve felt a little kick from the middle finger I’ve put up to that bitch!

Finalement, to all those just name slaying OP, have a good hard look at yourselves and make sure you’re perfect first. Surely identifying that one has a problem in the first place, ie that self-reflection has taken place, surely shows that one cannot in fact be a psychopath…..

LOLing at some of these posters telling us compassionate and kind they are when you recognise their usernames from previous posts as being complete bellends (and a quick advanced search provides the proof).
I think a fair few here are very much enjoying themselves berating you OP.

You've just go compassion fatigue, and mumsnet is the worst place to ask about reality because these people pretend they think literally everything is offensive while being kind of shitty themselves on the regular.

The sort of people haranguing you were unempathetically hammering some poor OP for daring to say air hostess while brushing off her husband's misogyny on another thread. Performative virtue signalling is rife online.

So long as you are doing what you need to do and are not openly anti social you're fine. I would actually get off mumsnet and all social media for a while and clear your head, the constant stream of demands and poor mes from entitled people with first world problems becomes too much and you kind of short out - like if you put too much electricity through a device not made for it and it burns out.

You are capable of normal empathy and compassion and if you give yourself a break from a flood of entitled whinging you will find it normalises again.

As a non-driver and forever pedestrian, it's really annoying when cars slow down deliberately to let people cross the road. So don't feel bad about that.

As you have children are you not worried that you are teaching them to not give a fuck about anyone and they will stick you in the cheapest OAP’s home they can find and not visit because they don’t care.

I have been known to stop ten feet back and check my phone so I don't have to hurry over to a pedestrian crossing for a car that is clearly planning to stop way too early. It's like the early door holders, they mean well but I'd rather the door was just closed behind them than I had to rush up to get through it when they're holding it. It's not a big deal, and like I say it's meant well, but I don't like it.

This is a good example of that performative person who venomously abuses the OP for asking a question while pretending they themselves have high moral standards.

Ah, the performative scolders on here seem to have missed that comment. That could be a sign of depression, apathy and indifference is a side effect of depression. Please get yourself to a GP and have a chat.

You are self centred and selfish. Very self absorbed. But you are aware of it which is surprising. Generally entitled people never stop to consider their actions. And you seem to realize your behaviour is not socially acceptable!So maybe there is hope that you can change. If you want to that is. If not accept that you are selfish ,self centred and entitled and a very unpleasant person.

You should see a psychologist, there may be available therapy for your desire to bully and abuse strangers online. Maybe there is hope you can change. If not accept that you are a nasty and very unpleasant person.

Apart from the road and toilet i’m with ypu, people make too much fuss about trivial stuff. I would always give priority to anyone in a wheelchair though

What an odd post 🤷

TBF I would rush my child in a wheelchair past you and stick my twos up 😂

no offence, my kid going to the toilet is more important

i think we all have elements of ourselves that just aren’t very nice (i certainly do) and bit that are genuinely lovely.
eg. im staying in a youth hostel and had loads of food left over at the evening menus mDe. i took the leftovers down the road to a homeless guy in the park.
but then earlier i was in a rush so actively pressed the ‘close the lift doors’ button when insaw a fut run towards the lift.
see, im nice and a total cock at the dame
time 😝

You sound vile selfish and entitled. Hope your kids aren't like you.

Are you autistic op, what you are describing sounds very similar to one of my friends who is diagnosed. She is just very indifferent to everything.

It seems that many uncaring and unempathetic people have missed that you are actually concerned about your feelings and have felt perfectly normal levels of compassion and empathy in your life, but have become burnt out.

It's just too much fun for people who are low in compassion and empathy to rush in to abuse you, I suppose.

Again, please see a GP for a chat, this might be depression. Otherwise, it's just compassion fatigue and you should get yourself offline for a while to reset.

Yeah you aren’t so you’re right at least you akowledge it…. Can imagine what you look like though… an angry bitter individual usually has that dragged down, witchy type face like someone pulled your face down and the wind made it stay.
good luck 😉

Wow, keep your knickers on. That was a bit highly strung for someone just expressing an opinion. Edited to add that I am autistic myself 🍪

Is this irony?

Did you find you'd often help others, only to be taken for granted? And perhaps you find it difficult to relate to people's joy/achievements because you've never had people be enthusiastic for you?

I will say that, while what you've described aren't the most desirable personality traits, the fact you've acknowledged that suggests you're not totally incapable of change...

id say some of the behaviours would match sherlock the Cumberbatch version

Take a deep breath, count to 10 and then have a cookie. You sound like you need it 🍪

Personality disorder. Speak to GP about a referral?