Torn on attending a wedding with a positive covid test

[Raveien]

Hello All,

Just looking for advice really, I've been feeling under the weather with cold symptoms after going to a festival and I did a covid test today and its positive. My partner has done a test and is negative. We're both due to travel up country tomorrow, for a wedding on Saturday. I don't know the couple, I am meant to be meeting them for the first time during this wedding. My partner has another covid test that he'll take tomorrow.

I had my partner message the groom to let him know, and he's said for both of us to come anyways, and to just not make a big song and dance for testing positive, he's said about 90 people are going and the chances of someone else having it, irregardless of me, is quite high. My partner will still go without me, I think, but has said he'll be sad without me there, and is of the opinion that if the groom is fine with it, I should still go. But of course, there could be people in attendance who are vulnerable.

However I feel really torn, because my best friend has said she'll be really disappointed in me if I go, and that I don't know these people, so technically I won't be missing out on much - which is true. She said if I was asymptomatic that would be different, but I do have common cold symptoms, but they are manageable with cold and flu medicine.

Just seeking some advice really, if the groom had of said 'she can't come with covid' it would have been so much easier, but now I'm torn between my partner and the groom saying to come, and my best friend saying it would be the wrong thing to do. Would it be unreasonable for me to still go?

Thank you for this. Not sure why people are ignoring the fact that 3 million people have Long Covid in this country. And that number will just go up and up. Maybe when we get to 10 million with everyone knowing people affected then we recognise this is not just a cold.

I wish it was! I wish we could all forget about it

As you don't really know them I wouldn't bother going but the groom has said it is fine if you do want to go. Personally I treat it as any other illness now, if I'm well enough to go I would as the groom is ok with it. If i feel rubbish I wouldn't go.

We had a family wedding in 2022 which the bride categorically told everyone NOT to test if they felt unwell. Everyone had flown in from abroad for the wedding so the chances of someone having covid were extremely high. Mandatory isolation rules had ended. It wasn't going to change the outcome if you had a test or not, she would have told you to come anyway. Everyone knew where they stood. A week later, half the wedding attendees had covid or a cold of some sort.

You shouldn’t have tested but now you know you can’t go. There may be vulnerable people there

You have tested, and you know the result. You can’t put that genie back in the bottle. I wouldn’t go to a wedding (old and young people, lots of hugging) of people I didn’t know.

I may be being supersensitive because DM is immunocompressed post chemo, and she had long covid for a year.

I was surprised that others are testing but apparently tests are still available in chemists and people feel it is the responsible thing to do when attending events where there may be vulnerable people present.

You don't have to agree but no need to be so unpleasant.

Is it the weather bringing out the covid deniers who say that no-one gets ill from covid any more?

I'm glad that post was deleted.

I personally believe this virus has always existed, they’ve just made a test for it now. If we all test and all stay home when infected, life won’t ever go on. It isn’t a normal way to live. I am sorry to anyone who has LC or who contracted it and was really poorly but the same could be said for flu and all sorts that existed before COVID was a thing. Some people will be affected worse than others. It’s my opinion and it’s just life. I refuse to be terrified of leaving the house if I’ve got a sniffle. It ruined my MH for a long time and I won’t let it anymore.

I personally believe this virus has always existed, they’ve just made a test for it now. If we all test and all stay home when infected, life won’t ever go on. It isn’t a normal way to live. I am sorry to anyone who has LC or who contracted it and was really poorly but the same could be said for flu and all sorts that existed before COVID was a thing. Some people will be affected worse than others. It’s my opinion and it’s just life. I refuse to be terrified of leaving the house if I’ve got a sniffle. It ruined my MH for a long time and I won’t let it anymore.

I don’t think anyone is saying we all need to stay at home. Just a bit of care and consideration. If you have a highly infectious illness that could make some people very ill then stay away from people until you’re not contagious anymore. Or at least avoid large gatherings. Or give people the heads up!

No massive impact on your life. Just being considerate.

I do think the issue with Covid is that many actually feel that ill with it unlike say the flu so we wander around spreading it. Yet it can cause so many long term issues for many.

The Groom can only speak for himself and the fact he is willing to risk his health. He cannot speak for the guests. You know you are positive so don't go. Yes there is a chance that there will be someone attending with Covid that they do not know about, but you do. Do not go.

I’m curious to know if all the “don’t leave the house if you’ve got covid or you’re a selfish dick” also stay in multiple times a year because they get a cold because that is also viral

How can you possibly say "nobody cares about covid any more" when this thread is full of people whose lives have been upended by long covid or whose relatives are immunocompromised and who'd be at risk of severe illness?
And in many other countries, yes, covid tests are easily available and people do test--and nobody thinks it is weird. And we get our booster shots still.

It’s appalling to think of attending a wedding with Covid. Just awful.

YABU to go. Some people might be unaware of the damage covid has done and is doing, talk about it as a cold etc. Which of the guests (who you don’t even actually know) do you want to get covid from you the most?

No. Don't go. I have 2 people in our family with immunity issues, covid would risk the life of one of them.
You know you have covid, so it would be a shitty thing to do.

Why test for Covid? Now you've done it you feel bad.

Covid and common colds are completely different. Covid can cause organ damage, including damage to the brain and the cardiovascular system, significantly increasing the risk of strokes, blood clots, and various other conditions. This is in part because it attaches to the ACE2 receptors which are found all over the body.
A common cold does not do this. I wouldn't go to the wedding OP it's not worth harming people for. Send a nice gift instead and stay home.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11357-024-01487-4
https://www.heart.org/en/news/2025/01/16/how-the-virus-behind-covid-19-can-harm-your-blood-vessels-and-your-heart
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-022-04569-5

My son ended up in hospital with RSV becuase of the common cold which someone passed on to him. Babies and elderly can die from common colds that people pass on. I know what you’re saying but I think we can’t all stay in every time we get cold symptoms. OP tested so morally now she knows she has covid she has to probably do the right thing and stay at home I guess

My son ended up in hospital with RSV becuase of the common cold which someone passed on to him. Babies and elderly can die from common colds that people pass on. I know what you’re saying but I think we can’t all stay in every time we get cold symptoms. OP tested so morally now she knows she has covid she has to probably do the right thing and stay at home I guess

In very sorry to hear that, hope your sons ok now 💐 Rsv isn't actually the same as the common cold but that's not really the point. Actually what we should all do is stay at home if we are atall able to, such as with this wedding where the OP is quite able not to attend. If it's something where we have no choice to go out we should wear a good quality mask to drastically reduce the chance of passing it on, which is what people do in several Asian countries, unlike the UK where people insist on going out a coughing in each others faces which is anti social and dangerous.

Yes they do if they have a vulnerable family member who could get really ill from it.
I have hypogammaglobulinemia so have to avoid mixing with people unless I know they are virus free.
When I went to my nephews wedding last year, he provided all guests with a covid test and asked them to use it the morning of the wedding and not attend if it was positive because as well as me there were vulnerable elderly guests attending.
I usually have to refuse invitations to such social events

I had six rounds of chemo last year so would be considered immunocompromised. I think you should go to the wedding. I don’t expect anyone to sit at home if they have Covid just because of me. You were completely mad to test anyway.

Wny do you think covid, long covid and covid tests only exist if there’s a fight for pasta?! How novel.

It's not just for you though, it's for everyones benefit. Anyone, no matter their state of health, and no matter if they had covid before, can get long covid, or the various other health problems triggered by covid which are often considered separately to long covid. There are plenty of people who used to be marathon runners and professional athletes who now have long covid.
thesicktimes.org/2024/08/16/grappling-with-long-covid-as-an-elite-athlete/