Torn on attending a wedding with a positive covid test

[Raveien]

Hello All,

Just looking for advice really, I've been feeling under the weather with cold symptoms after going to a festival and I did a covid test today and its positive. My partner has done a test and is negative. We're both due to travel up country tomorrow, for a wedding on Saturday. I don't know the couple, I am meant to be meeting them for the first time during this wedding. My partner has another covid test that he'll take tomorrow.

I had my partner message the groom to let him know, and he's said for both of us to come anyways, and to just not make a big song and dance for testing positive, he's said about 90 people are going and the chances of someone else having it, irregardless of me, is quite high. My partner will still go without me, I think, but has said he'll be sad without me there, and is of the opinion that if the groom is fine with it, I should still go. But of course, there could be people in attendance who are vulnerable.

However I feel really torn, because my best friend has said she'll be really disappointed in me if I go, and that I don't know these people, so technically I won't be missing out on much - which is true. She said if I was asymptomatic that would be different, but I do have common cold symptoms, but they are manageable with cold and flu medicine.

Just seeking some advice really, if the groom had of said 'she can't come with covid' it would have been so much easier, but now I'm torn between my partner and the groom saying to come, and my best friend saying it would be the wrong thing to do. Would it be unreasonable for me to still go?

She will be breathing, I assume. Respiratory viruses, the clue is in the name.

Tbh, this attitude is quite common but also very challenging for people who are vulnerable. Why would you spread your germs with absolutely no thought of the consequences? Covid is not a cold, whatever you might like to believe.

Stuff granny, then.

You have my sympathy, @ArseInTheCoOpWindow. I got Covid in early 2021. I felt like I’d got a nasty cold, but dropped my oxygen sats and ended up in hospital. I am now disabled with long covid. I can’t do most of the things I used to do, and it has caused endless worry and trouble for dh and the rest of the family. Dh is working part time (semi retired) and doing almost everything round the house.

I had had my first vaccination when I got Covid, so even vaccination is not a guarantee against getting ill, or ending up with long covid.

Please don’t go to this wedding, @Raveien.

No hence saying ‘IMO’ and ‘I believe’

Are you?

UPDATE Thanks for everyone's comments, I wasnt expecting so many, 300+ and i wasn't expecting it to divide opinion so much! I decided in the end, not to go, my partner has gone without me, and he's pretty upset I was holding firm on not going. I did another covid test this morning because he seemed fixated it could have been a fluke and it went positive within 30 seconds! It really sucks because he was telling me how much the groom wanted to meet me etc etc (they live very far away and he seems to think this is our only chance) but I just can't do it, i cant travel 4+ hours by public transport and knowingly take covid into a crowd of 90+ people, if its important for the groom to meet me, I'm sure something else can be arranged! Like many people said, all I'd end up thinking about is all the people it could have a knock on effect on. I really really wanted to go, been excited for it for over a year, but it just isn't worth it, so ill stay home with my pets, get a bottle of wine and a nice takeaway to myself. Got a joint hen and stag do to go to next weekend, so I'll rest up and look forward to that, instead. Thanks again for the input everyone, hope you have good weekends :)

Am married to a doctor who worked on Covid wards.

Agree. Who really cares any more!!!

Well done , a sensible and unselfish attitude . You listened to your conscience . I hope you recover well and quickly , enjoy the peace and quiet and don’t do too much too soon.

If you had bothered to read any of the responses on this thread you will find that a lot of people do care for a myriad of very good reasons.

But you do you and only care about yourself and consider yourself lucky that no-one close to you is vulnerable.

You are selfish and callous.

I work for a Dr who worked on COVID wards btw.

Thank you. I’m pretty surprised (well disgusted) at the groom - his nearest and dearest are meant to be there and he gives less of a shit about them than a stranger does.

You don’t know they’re vulnerable though

No I speak with a bit of pragmatism and sound more up to date on the latest clinical evidence than you!
As a healthcare professional working with direct patient care we are only expected to do lateral flow tests.if we have a temp, respiratory symptoms and work with severely immunocompromised patients. This is NHS England advice. Chances are the OP only meets one of these criteria and very unlikely for a severely immunocompromised person to be at a wedding (the groom may have said so but also these types of patients are generally admitted). To add, it’s not that often patients are admitted with purely covid any more, especially in this season.

So no, I’m not callous or selfish I just have common sense.

But, the point isn't if anyone OP comes into contact with while travelling or at the wedding is immunocompromised, or not.
The issue is someone who is not well spreading their illness. To do so is utterly rude.
And it is reprehensible if anyone in healthcare is ill, working and not wearing a mask.

Yes, we were all brainwashed 🤪 cuckoo

🙄

Yeah, I'd say there are going to be a lot more elderly people than most events. Compared to day most workplaces where there aren't usually people older than retirement age.

Sorry to hear about your mum, but you could say the same for any virus. COVID, Flu, Common cold (also a type of Corona virus), all could kill you, just depends on your immune system/luck/genetics.

It's not feasible to stop life for a virus that for 99 percent of people causes very mild disease.

Yep - I think this will happen. 10% of people affected for every infection. It’s continually circulating even in the summer. Being fit and healthy is no protection. It’s basic maths.

It’s going to be horrific.

Nope. Colds don’t disable 10% of all who get them.

The average rate of infection for flu for most people is once every 10 years…

Covid is very different. A good iimmune
system won’t protect you.

let's just say we're never going to have a 'meeting if minds' over this & leave it at that. Ok.

Thanks OP. For being caring and responsible.

I hope people read through some of the stories on here of lives ruined by long covid and realise it isn’t just a cold..

Wonder why nosocomial infections are so high.
Poor infection control in healthcare isn’t pragmatic - it’s reckless.

I had a similar situation, tested because I was due to attend several events with immuncompromised friends. I was desperate to attend as they were the last social events before the long holidays of just me and my child. I know of at least 4 people with long covid, one a teenager who has gone from the star of the football team to not being able to attend a full day of school, another who ran half marathons and took two years to recover. Most recently I have known about 3 people who were very ill for nearly 3 weeks. It’s only a ‘common cold’ for a percentage of the population. It’s still serious for some and I knew my symptoms were Covid, as I felt lethargic, hot and cold, loss of taste etc. I felt l it would have been really selfish to pass this only anyone else tbh. You’ve done the right thing but it’s unfortunate you’re being encouraged to attend still as it leaves you with a tricky decision but I wouldn’t go myself. What I will say is that it was like a speeded up version of covid and I was pretty much clear on day 5 so maybe test again if you really want to go? You might be nearly over it?

Why don’t you raise your policy expertise to the Department of Health?
You will find data that rates of nosocomial infections have not changed since pre covid.