To be embarrassed by DH in shop?

[abccdefg]

NC’d just in case

DH and I popped into the only decent shop in our town this morning. I had asked him to pick up the bank card before we left and he said he would. We go into the shop, pick up what we need (6 items non food). Checkout and DH realises he’s forgotten the bank card. We didn’t bring phones or anything.

The man on the till (there are no self service tills) didn’t say anything but did look extremely put out/grumpy when we apologised for the inconvenience. He was silent and visibly annoyed and DH said ‘it was just an accident you know’. The man didn’t say anything, still looked annoyed, and DH said ‘so much for customer service’. When we started to walk away, he turned round and asked for the man’s name which he told him. Then DH walked away saying that he was a twat, loud enough for him to hear.

I was mortified. DH was annoyed that I was okay with ‘being treated poorly’ by someone for no good reason. The man was in his mid 60’s I’d say and working in what I assume is a sometimes physically challenging retail role and to be honest, his reaction didn’t bother me. I go into that shop about twice a week on average and now don’t want to go back. It’s not a big shop so if the man was working he’d definitely see me and most likely be on the till. AIBU to be annoyed by DH’s reaction?

And it took this thread to galvanise you?!

Imagine coming home like “hi love, my day was totally fucked up by this couple. I rang up their stuff then they couldn’t pay for it meaning muggins had to put it all back! Six things. Yes they said sorry but I thought na, I’m not answering you, I’ll just ignore you both and pretend you’re not there. Yes, best way to respond to people like that.”

Did you read he was called a “twat”

I do wonder about some posters, I really do

' If we are popping out for less than an hour/to the shops we usually don’t take our phones because we don’t need them.'

' We didn’t have time to go home and come back unfortunately. Hence not suggesting it.'

You were going elsewhere ? after popping to this chain non food shop in town, without phones or the only bank card.

or did you both need to be back home for a certain time ?

btw what is ' the only decent shop ' in your town that is a non food chain ?
W H Smith ? Boots ? Superdrug ?

To be fair he was called a twat as the couple left the shop, after he had stood and scowled at them and said nothing. It’s not like he scowled at them after he was called a twat (which would be understandable). He was just inconvenienced and couldn’t hide his annoyance about it (which is fine but sometimes people will real d negatively to that - consequences).

I think both are at fault 🤷🏻‍♀️

Noooo it was the first thing I posted that's all. Umm is that ok? 😆

Exactly. Both men at fault.

But keep wondering about me 😁

Goodness. I would not like being called a twat at all.

Nor me!

I genuinely don't know why some adults get in to name calling as opposed to addressing the issue. It's so immature.

He “scowled”? I missed that In the OP’s description . Really?

First post in 7 years and galvanised you to change your password! Wow, the op had an impact on you!

I wonder about you

because in your synopsis of the situation you completely omitted the fact the dh called the cashier a “twat”

Somewhat relevant wouldn’t you say?

Yes it’s in the OP’s post from 4pm yesterday:

Stuff scanned and packed, ‘that’s £X’, turn to DH, ‘oh no, I’m sorry I’ve forgotten the card, I know you asked but I forgot’ ‘okay’, turn to man ‘I’m really sorry but I forgot my card’, scowl and silence, ‘sorry mate it was just an accident’ silence and scowl, ‘so much for customer service’ silence and scowl, ‘what’s your name?’ ‘X’ ‘okay thanks’ walks away ‘twat’

I always take the Op first post as most accurate indication of what actually happened

follow up descriptions tend to be defensive responses that are clearly exaggerating as otherwise would have included on op

He was silent and visibly annoyed

The op name changed as worries outing

so either she suspects this 60 year old chap is a mumsnetter

or… dh created a scene that those in the vicinity were aware of

or he’s got a history of being a twat

A scowl is surely visible annoyance…

God why am I getting drawn into this 🤦🏻‍♀️

You said: “… and fuck somebody else’s day up by forgetting what you need for said shop and being rude about it. Nice.”

I don’t think forgetting the card fucked up the other man’s day. Hence my reply to that, or my synopsis as you call it.

If you’d said “… and fuck somebody else’s day up by being rude. Nice.” that would have made sense.

It must be awful being called a twat but it has to be expected if you do twattish things. If the op is to be believed.

No @cosimarama that wasn’t me

stop getting over excited and reread

Oh goodness me, do you often speak to people like that often? Huge apologies for inconveniencing you with my misplaced quote!

I'd be on side of your person..the shop person was very rude.
. I would have said something too...very bad customer service...

You were annoyed with your husband for forgetting the card - fair enough - but that didn't put you in a good frame of mind for what happened next. You can't know for sure whether the look on the man's face was annoyance or not. Really you both need to shoulder some of the burden of blame here - you should have a card each, your husband should not have been rude about the assistant. By all means lodge a complaint if you feel the look on the assistant's face justifies it, but really, you'll make yourself look as petty as your husband. If you want to put things right, speak to the assistant and apologise for your husband's behaviour- not your place to do it, but you'll feel better about shopping there.

I'm so sorry you had this embarrassing experience 😢God bless you
Yes I feel members of staff whom give vibes to customers, like they're a nuisance to them, are most surely, out of order - Just on Wednesday I requested to know where an item was in the chemist & member of staff made it immensely obvious she didn't wish to show me & she was put out by me even just requesting
So I know the feeling very well
I didn't react just walked away
But I can understand your husband finding this male member of staff's attitude unacceptable
Honestly I wouldn't worry or feel embarrassed returning
You've done completely nothing wrong & your husband's comment might've even made the worker rethink his hostile attitude, you know?
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost very best always 💚🤗💚

Apology accepted
you got it wrong and accused me of posting something which if you’d paused for a minute and read back… you’d have seen it wasn’t me at all.