I’m drained and he has to start helping

[smileyxo]

My partner and I have been together 2 years. We don’t live together but he’s at my place 6 days a week. Its been like this a little over a year. I’m starting to become overwhelmed because since he’s started staying over more my bills have sky rocketed. He’s not helping and I’m stressing about bills. I have only asked him 3 times for help with a bill and afterwards he sort of complains that he is so broke and it makes me feel bad because he would have it if I didn’t need help.

Well I can’t do it anymore. I plan on sitting down with him and telling him if he’s going to be here this much he has to help out. I don’t expect him to help out on every bill, but I think the electric and water is reasonable and just half.

am I being unreasonable? He does not have his own place he lives with his siblings and prefers coming over to my place. We’re both 23 and we both work.

Entitled twat. So happy you have gotten rid OP. Find yourself someone who wants to treat you how you deserve and not some freeloading piece of shit like this one.

My god. He showed his true colours.

You are well rid. stay strong.

I'm SO glad you've exposed him for the atrocious twat that he is and dumped him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he now turned on a charm offensive. Don't be fooled. Just who the fuck did he think he is ?

Well done OP and never let anyone take advantage of you again.

I'm sorry your relationship has ended, that's always hard no matter how awful the man is, but like everyone else on here I'm so glad you've got rid. Onwards and upwards OP

In January I was at a family gathering and he got upset with me because I stayed longer than I said I would(I was only there 2.5 hours) I couldn’t understand why because I was just with my immediate family.

And he is blocked. Things got heated before he left my father and brother came over. After he left my parents said I could stay with them. I will be here until I find a new place.

Don't hesitate to call the Police if he starts harassing you. Sounds nasty if you're talking of moving.

Change your locks and get a ring camera.

Thank god you've ended it. Do NOT take him back.

He should be contributing something, within reason of his personal details that we don't know. Something towards electricity and water, half is too much though. And 50/50 on food etc that you share. And st least doing a bit of everyday chores.

I disagree on others about rent though. Its not his home, he isn't increasing the costs, and she presumably wants to spend time with him - he is being charged to spend time with someone who wants him there, in a place he has no rights in, in a place he can be kicked out at will (rightly so, of course she should be able to do that if she wants), where she is the only person who benefits getting a home entirely belonging to her cheaper. If you want to share rent, move in together. Otherwise rents are your own personal cost of life.

Well done op!

Maybe read the OP’s posts before you add your comment. You don’t need to read the whole thread, but you really do need to at least read the OP’s posts.

Read it. Nothing changes. If I have missed something you could add something helpful and just say what that is. That way a real conversation can happen. I can see I missed something, probably something you could never imagine but maybe even sometimes maybe you missed something between the comments. Nobodies perfect, I certainly don't pretend to be.

Good for you!!

You really did not read OP’s posts. So annoying!

Well done you, there will be someone out there for you.

Well done, sounds like a good decision

he showed his true colours - you made the right decision. Well done OP.

6 days a week means he lives with you. Don't let him be a cock lodger.

He should be paying half of all the bills

I’m so glad you started this thread and ultimately ended the relationship.

He was using you and sounds like he could be controlling.

Any one is better than this loser.

Well done. You've done exactly the right thing. He sounds really weak and unpleasant, so good on you for being strong and putting yourself first. Its good that your dad and brother were there for you as well. Don't be fooled into taking him back.

Really glad you ended it. He really showed his true colours in the end!

Well done OP. Another woman saved from a shitty relationship with the help of mumsnet.

However shit it feels right now it would have been so much worse a few years down the line with children involved tying you together forever.

I wish I had been as brave as you at 23, but I also know you have sooooo much time ahead of you. Don't waste your 20s on a loser just because your body is pumping you full of baby making hormones that weaken your boundaries.

You have dodged a bullet girl there.

Well done for standing up to a controlling person 💪🏼

Omg op all of that must have been awful but equally so validating. He's shown you exactly who he is and you've absolutely dodged a bullet and made the right decision. He would have been your nightmare had he moved in and definitely would have been abusive towards you eventually with that level of control.

Focus on your own self care, lots of time with friends and family who make you feel good and building yourself up. Never ever take him back. He's exactly the type to say what he thinks you'll want to hear just to get you under this thumb again. God love the next girl who comes across his path.

Do you feel safe staying at your flat? If he's been threatening you're absolutely within your rights to contact police and they can flag your address. Womens aid can also offer you support.

Well done OP just be mindful that when his "pretending to be really angry" act doesn't work he will try another tactic. Probably remorse.