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Original poster

Fiancé insisting on donating sperm against my wishes

241 replies

Shitehound · 13/08/2025 22:27

He won’t back down. I have said multiple times that I don’t support this, we already have a lovely child together and for medical reasons I cannot/won’t risk carrying another baby myself. He keeps asking me to put myself as risk by having another child and because I won’t he has decided to donate sperm.

With DNA ancestry testing, anonymity is no longer possible, and our child could end up with half siblings all over the world. The donor children may get in contact with our family in the future, seems like emotional turmoil waiting to happen and a massive shock for our own child. He’s already started the process and is putting his foot down. It’s causing huge arguments. He said he is determined to carry on as it is his life goal to have lots of children and won’t stop this process.

He had an affair which I found out when our baby was a few weeks old which was devastating and is another reason why I refuse to have another child with him as I don’t want to put myself in a vulnerable position again. We have worked hard together to rebuild trust for me to forgive him after the affair betrayal and now this insistence on sperm donation has made me feel depressed and worthless. Like my opinion doesn’t matter in the slightest…

OP posts:
VimtoQueen90 · 14/08/2025 10:01

Sounds like he wants to cover up any children he may have had with other people potentially through cheating by being able to claim in future they were donor children 😖

diddl · 14/08/2025 10:05

it is his life goal to have lots of children

Children he doesn't have to see or pay for?

It does seem that he's trying to get you to change your mind.

Even if you did there's not guarantee that he wouldn't carry on.

He's hardly trustworthy is he?

Moonlightbean123 · 14/08/2025 10:09

Rosscameasdoody · 14/08/2025 09:46

Why ? He was having an affair while OP was pregnant and her child is at school now. Perfectly possible he knows he fathered a child as a result.

Show quote history

He's had the affair! He has not donated the sperm yet. Months has been and gone since then , doesn't matter if he fathered a child out of that affair or not, op knows about the affair. You would only do this to cover up a child born as a result of an affair when your trying to cover up the affair. 🤦‍♀️

SiameseBlueEyes · 14/08/2025 10:10

For what it's worth, and it's not very much, clinics don't allow dozens of donations from one man like they did in the old days. This is to avoid the possibility of siblings unknowingly dating each other. The numbers are very restricted and you might get one or two more if the family wanted a full sibling for a previous donor baby. I do know of a large group of adult "diblings" from the Wild West past of the fertility industry who have the same father and meet for lunch a couple of times a year. Some of them got a bit of a shock at finding out there were so many - and to be fair their father was single at the time - but they've got used to the idea. The man concerned had one daughter from a later marriage and she sportingly agreed to a DNA test so the diblings could be sure they were also the children of the same father and they were. Of course, their father was a doctor with a degree from an Ivy League college and good looking - your vile soon to be ex-fiancé may not be that sought after.

Frauhubert · 14/08/2025 10:10

Eeew, his little soldier spreading the seed for his foul DNA to live on and continue his legacy🤢

Catwalking · 14/08/2025 10:11

Keeping you in my thoughts, wishing you & DC, soon, a lovely future, hugs.

Lefthandedkitty · 14/08/2025 10:15

Thank goodness he's only your finance and not your husband. Don't marry this man, he's not a keeper.

millymoo1202 · 14/08/2025 10:16

I’ve read some awful things ha on here about men but I think this maybe tops them all! Honestly what the heck, he’s an absolute weirdo. I’d be leaving

lunaswand · 14/08/2025 10:19

reminds me of the man with 1000 kids on netflix

BrokenWingsCantFly · 14/08/2025 10:20

So he doesn't want a child with you so he can be a loving father, he just wants to have as many children as possible, in other words just spread his seed. Grim. He doesn't want to donate to help infertile couples, just fill his own weird fantasy.

He sounds on the way to having the mindset of that man from the documentary who produced as many children as possible by visiting various sperm banks over the globe, and got banned by the courts from continuing.

He has shown he does not care about your opinion or your peace of mind. The cheating and the weird reasoning for wanting to do this with no care for the consequences. Your best off out of it. Who knows what he will throw at you next

Best of luck OP

Channellingsophistication · 14/08/2025 10:23

Thank God you are not married to him!

It would be better in the long run to end this relationship now. He wants more children yet he has already proven himself as a shit father already!

a) He has cheated on you at a time when you needed his support with a newborn.
b) He is quite happy for you to put your health at risk in order to have another child.
c) He also doesnt respecting your feelings.

More than enough reasons to go it alone. (You either do it now or after he's had another affair will he undoubtedly will do).

AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMomentInTime · 14/08/2025 10:24

Dump him.
Do it for you. You deserve better.

SecretNameAsImShy · 14/08/2025 10:25

This sounds like emotional blackmail to me. First time for me to say LTB!

Hoardasauruskaren · 14/08/2025 10:26

Your fiancé seems extremely arrogant! Does he think the world is missing out if he doesn’t spread his DNA or something? He says its because he wants lots of DC but he won’t be involved in their lives so why? If it was because he yearns for a larger family surely he would be considering adoption? (Don’t do this !) Sounds like he’s just a weirdo who loves the idea of spreading his seed!

You can’t stop him but I would consider this the end of the road for us. He’s had an affair when you had a tiny baby, pressurising you to have another child when its too risky & now this. No thought for you or your child & how this affects you especially if DC turn up in the future. He’s a nasty, arrogant, selfish man & not worthy of you.

kiwiane · 14/08/2025 10:26

I wouldn’t stay with him - get ready to split from him when you can.

VickyEadieofThigh · 14/08/2025 10:29

Leilaandtheloggerheads · 13/08/2025 22:35

The fact his reason isn’t even “ I really want to help others who are struggling” it’s just “I desperately want to father a load of kids and not even interested in knowing them”

That is vile, and I couldn’t be with someone who has that as a life goal.

This. I can understand the mindset of wanting to be a parent to more children than one - but this is NOT that.

ClaredeBear · 14/08/2025 10:31

He is a very strange, odd, weird person. Set your plans in motion and get away from his disgusting misogyny.

Pyjamatimenow · 14/08/2025 10:33

This man is just a wrongun I’m afraid. Only interested in spreading his seed. I think he needs throwing back and he can do what he likes with his seed then.

Probablyshouldntsay · 14/08/2025 10:35

It sounds like a fetish or kink OP. He’s vile and I hope they screen for this strangeness before accepting donations from weirdos

Wishimaywishimight · 14/08/2025 10:42

"Like my opinion doesn’t matter in the slightest…"

Well, it doesn't does it? He doesn't respect you, he doesn't give a damn about your health and he sure as hell doesn't care whether you agree with his plan or not.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe the shit people are willing to put up with.

Why on earth are you still with this hideous man? He sounds utterly vile.

Bingbopboomboomboombopbam · 14/08/2025 10:45

An affair and now this?? What in the Elon Musk is going on?

You need to leave quickly. Like yesterday. Either he has a weird procreation/breeding kink, or there’s a kid about to be born that he’ll conveniently blame on being a donor.

I’m not one to bash forgiving cheating, I’ve done it and I’m fine with my decision, but this man seems to have a fundamental disregard for you or your family. I’d be thinking he’s a red pill type too.

Imisscoffee2021 · 14/08/2025 10:45

Shitehound · 13/08/2025 22:27

He won’t back down. I have said multiple times that I don’t support this, we already have a lovely child together and for medical reasons I cannot/won’t risk carrying another baby myself. He keeps asking me to put myself as risk by having another child and because I won’t he has decided to donate sperm.

With DNA ancestry testing, anonymity is no longer possible, and our child could end up with half siblings all over the world. The donor children may get in contact with our family in the future, seems like emotional turmoil waiting to happen and a massive shock for our own child. He’s already started the process and is putting his foot down. It’s causing huge arguments. He said he is determined to carry on as it is his life goal to have lots of children and won’t stop this process.

He had an affair which I found out when our baby was a few weeks old which was devastating and is another reason why I refuse to have another child with him as I don’t want to put myself in a vulnerable position again. We have worked hard together to rebuild trust for me to forgive him after the affair betrayal and now this insistence on sperm donation has made me feel depressed and worthless. Like my opinion doesn’t matter in the slightest…

What makes his dna so spectacular that he wants to satisfy some primal urge to spread his genes far and wide whilst having nothing to do with the raising of these children?

squeaver · 14/08/2025 10:46

Blimey, just when you think you've read all the possible iterations of vile, narcissistic behaviour on MN...

Please move on and build a better life for yourself.

Wishimaywishimight · 14/08/2025 10:47

Are you seriously going to marry this creature??

Noshowlomo · 14/08/2025 10:49

Andrew Tate/Elon Musk wannabe! You know you need to get rid