Comment to air hostess

[Backfromthebrink]

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

I think he was a knob, trying to flirt with the cabin crew, but if I’m honest I think sitting weeping on the coach in front of your daughter isn’t great either, and I’d be concerned for your mental health. A quiet word in private is all that was required, or to embarass him back , something like god that woman looked like she had the proper ick when you tried to flirt, so embarassed for you, it gave me the ick too.

I didn't know "policewoman" was bad. We say "policeman" after all.

Oh God, since the early Nineties, if not earlier! It's in the same category as "lady doctor." 🤮

Trust me, that remark would have been taken straight back to the galley. Man (child) in 32B is a creep.

Why would he for one moment think she would be impressed with that comment.

Oh man, I would have just rolled my eyes and told him to stop being such an embarrassment and he would have laughed at himself and everyone would probably have been just fine. Christ almighty. This was just a cheeky comment. He is going to admire other women and hopefully you will admire other men now and then. And maybe the hostess found it a bit uncomfortable but I think most women and men can still enjoy a bit of flirtation, even in the workplace. I hope so anyway. What an incredibly dull, neutered world we are heading for if this stupid dad joke caused you to be in floods of tears. Calm the farm.

Him: “if I win, do you come too?”

You: "she's not interested in your tiny dick darling"

(please store that for next time)

I would have looked at the cabin crew apologetically and said “ oh do excuse my husband, he missed his medication deliberately this morning as it makes him very drowsy and he was SO excited to be coming on an aeroplane weren’t you xxxx” whilst patting his arm condescendingly.

Trolly dolly

You can't tell someone how to feel!
If my husband blatantly disrespected me by basically telling another woman he'd prefer her, in front of me, I'd be seriously pissed off. Added to which, I'd also just have found out that my husband is a sexist prick and shit role model to my kids.

Really?

He made a stupid flippant comment - I'd find it eye-rolling and be a bit embarrassed for him as it's the sort of thing a creepy older bloke would say. But to be 'fuming' and have 'tears streaming down my face' over it.

FFS - get a frickin' grip. And some self respect.

Female cabin crew

I would have said to my DH loudly “ you can apologise for your dick comment right now” and make him say sorry. Are you upset because this is the first time he’s done anything like this? Or upset because you realise your DH is a prick?

Amazing you’d tolerate a man treating you like that and getting nothing but an eye roll while telling others with higher standards to ‘get self respect’.

How is crying your eyes out at a man's stupid remark having 'higher standards'?

@OlympicProcrastinator

that is just pathetic

I'd be fuming with my husband if he wasted money on five scratch cards; never mind any stupid comments to the cabin crew.

Its not OP crying just I was talking about and you know it. Calling someone pathetic for having an emotional reaction to a partner treating them with such disrespect is plain nasty.

Having your bar set so low that such disrespectful behaviour is accepted in a relationship is arguably far more pathetic.

@SereneCoralDog

well said😊.
the problem is women in their 40’s and 50’s have grown up with behaviour like this from many if not most men (in my case anyway) and so until very recently it was just the price of being a woman in a way - you learned to expect it even though we definitely didn’t like it. Also if you said anything you were seen as uptight.
the really great thing for me now is that the young women are not tolerating this shit any longer. The tide is finally turning and this is helping us older ladies too 😁. It’s wonderful to see and experience.

Hardly humiliating you. Making an arse of himself definitely.

Maybe time to have a word that this isn't clever or witty.

I agree. I would be really hurt as well.

He has nose hair and halitosis doesn’t he?

That’s an incredibly extreme reaction to a shit attempt at being a flirt/funny!

I would have just made him feel like a massive knob there and then. He's embarrassed you, do it back.

"Oh DH <really loud and throwing back head with a cackle> as if she'd want to go on holiday with you. She's way out of your league and everyone will think you are her dad".

I know, right? The hysteria over one throwaway comment is mind-boggling. Yes, I would be irritated if my husband said that, but for someone to say they would actually divorce their husband and split their family up over a throwaway comment is shocking, to say the least.

Inappropriate to her and disrespectful to u. Ignore tge ass hole and try to enjoy your holiday OP. Deal with this once rested. Be extremely calm and controlled or he may try to twist things saying u are the issue. You will have the upper hand

Love this