Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment to air hostess

383 replies

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:44

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

OP posts:
Movingon2024 · 14/08/2025 07:56

Tell him what a twat he was.
tell him that if he does that again, he’d better get his finances in order because you won’t tolerate disrespect like that.

then tell him that he’s doing the childcare for the day while you go to the spa/beach/shops to make it up to you.

Switcher · 14/08/2025 07:56

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

I do because I'm 47 and I spent my childhood on planes, so it's a word I used so often that it's really hard to remember what I'm supposed to say.

Oneborneveryminute25 · 14/08/2025 07:57

I would have rolled my eyes to the airhostess and said something along the lines of "sorry about his comment, he tries it on with everyone I'm afraid, it's all part of his small dick syndrome"

What a crap start to your holiday. So sorry @Backfromthebrink - he has much grovelling to do.

AmusedLilacBalonz · 14/08/2025 08:00

MisterT373 · 13/08/2025 23:19

I'm more horrified that you've pretty much admitted to flying on a budget airline.

This is so nasty and unnecessary. For a start people fly budget for all sorts of reasons, not just cost - the times could be better or it could be their 10th holiday this year. Alternatively it could be their first in 10 years that they’ve worked incredibly hard for which has been tainted by this incident - hence OP being so upset. Either way - this sort of petty elitist dig is really unhelpful

Brunettesmorefun · 14/08/2025 08:03

StrandedInJune · 14/08/2025 06:52

Oh man, I would have just rolled my eyes and told him to stop being such an embarrassment and he would have laughed at himself and everyone would probably have been just fine. Christ almighty. This was just a cheeky comment. He is going to admire other women and hopefully you will admire other men now and then. And maybe the hostess found it a bit uncomfortable but I think most women and men can still enjoy a bit of flirtation, even in the workplace. I hope so anyway. What an incredibly dull, neutered world we are heading for if this stupid dad joke caused you to be in floods of tears. Calm the farm.

Exactly.

MumOfManyAliases · 14/08/2025 08:08

Switcher · 14/08/2025 07:56

I do because I'm 47 and I spent my childhood on planes, so it's a word I used so often that it's really hard to remember what I'm supposed to say.

Show quote history

Me too.

TheaBrandt1 · 14/08/2025 08:08

We saw a Hollywood A lister on a budget flight.

Robin67 · 14/08/2025 08:09

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

Me. I say air hostess for individuals and cabin crew for a collective noun. I am indeed from the 70's

OP, he was being a tosser. She thought he was a tosser too, as does the hive mind of MN. He should be embarrassed, not you.

Sweetbeansandmochi · 14/08/2025 08:12

I flew Ryan Air this year and it was brilliant as long as you factor in you will need to pay extra for fast track things and luggage. The app is amazing.

Blinky21 · 14/08/2025 08:14

So he harassed a woman doing her job and you need to ask if that is acceptable

BatchCookBabe · 14/08/2025 08:14

@Backfromthebrink

Too late now, but if he does this again, say...

"Oh ignore him love, he still thinks he's young and handsome and all the young pretty girls fancy him. In reality they're inwardly laughing at him whilst rolling their eyes!"

Let's face it, this is a pretty accurate representation of many men over 35 (especially those who are married/married with children.

If it does carry on though, you need to nip this in the bud, and say, 'if you dispespect me again like this, you'll be forking out for a divorce lawyer!' And mean it!

CleaningAngel · 14/08/2025 08:16

ForWarmPeachBird · 13/08/2025 21:46

Air hostess?

An air hostess is some one who works on a plane, serving drinks, food etc etc

Beammeupscotty2025 · 14/08/2025 08:17

He’s a turd and everyone knows it.

@BatchCookBabe most of the men in my life would not feel it is appropriate to say something like this!

Thinking it who knows but actually saying it is grim.

BatchCookBabe · 14/08/2025 08:20

CleaningAngel · 14/08/2025 08:16

An air hostess is some one who works on a plane, serving drinks, food etc etc

Show quote history

That poster knows that, they're just being pedantic. 🙄

"Ooooh OP don't you know it's 'cabin crew' or 'flight attendant?! What's the weather like there in the 1950s?"

They probably call actresses 'actors' too! 🙄

CleaningAngel · 14/08/2025 08:20

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

That's what I refer to them.as.....what should they be referred to as??

BatchCookBabe · 14/08/2025 08:22

@Beammeupscotty2025

Most of the men in my life would not feel it is appropriate to say something like this!

Yes they would. Just not in front of you. Wink

I knew someone would come on here are start banging on about NAMALT though! 😂 I'm sure there are some men who wouldn't say this/act this way, (the way the OP's husband did,) and I never said 'all men,' but many of them would!

Dancingsquirrels · 14/08/2025 08:23

Horsie · 14/08/2025 06:45

I didn't know "policewoman" was bad. We say "policeman" after all.

Show quote history

Police officer better than policeman / woman

Their sex is irrelevant

OpalHedgehog · 14/08/2025 08:23

Honestly I’d be having a word and asking him how he’d feel if someone said that to your DD in the future. Gross behaviour.

Tidekiln · 14/08/2025 08:27

Dancingsquirrels · 14/08/2025 08:23

Police officer better than policeman / woman

Their sex is irrelevant

Show quote history

And what about waiter/waitress? What are they called now? Is it just server now?

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:28

what depressing responses. I am in my fifties and can see how vile and sexist the comment was. I am sure some of you saying it’s just humour are younger than me. I thought your generations were less tolerant of casual sexism and misogyny??

OP the only way I could get past this is if he genuinely reflects and realise what a patronising, sexist and creepy comment this was. Although I’m not sure I could ever find him attractive again myself.

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:31

Nachoinseachthu · 14/08/2025 00:42

I’m finding the responses a bit uptight. Yea it’s crass / gauche, but experience has taught me that that’s better than the more insidious misogyny that hides itself behind more PC behaviour. I guess it depends on your DP, on the exact tone, etc.

I’m in Scotland and I’m pretty sure a lot of cabin crew would laugh / shrug that off as fairly lame banter and not give it more than a moment’s thought.

The cabin crew has already forgotten about this, I’m sure. I wouidn’t sweat it.

Anyone who finds it ‘upright’ needs to raise their bar. And be a better role model to the next generation. There should be zero tolerance of this misogyny. Or you are part of the problem.

Zempy · 14/08/2025 08:34

Have you spoken to him about his repulsive behaviour?

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:35

Anotherbeeloudglade · 14/08/2025 01:47

Don't be silly, I was just repeating back what you'd said and turning it around on you.

I can't think of anyone in real life who would NOT be disgusted by something like this you should probably up your game when it comes to friends and family. 😂😆

I think you are being unreasonable and I find it incredible that a grown woman is lecturing and scolding someone who is upset because her husband was disgusting.

I would bet good money that the flight attendant thought he was an irritating piece of shit and felt sorry for his wife, but you can keep pretending she didn't care if that pleases you.

People are allowed to reply to you and disagree with you, that's how it works.

Show quote history

I can't think of anyone in real life who would NOT be disgusted by something like this you should probably up your game when it comes to friends and family. 😂😆

I think this is a big factor. Some people are surrounded by others who are still part of the sexiest 70s mentality. Where a man makes lewd comments in the name of ‘banter’ and the women laugh it off. So of course for these kind of posters, the comments are not a big deal as it’s all they have ever known, and the OP is being ‘dramatic’. I’m so glad that the men I know do not behave like this. Even when in holiday ‘high spirits’ funnily enough.

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:36

Squishymallows · 14/08/2025 04:40

I dunno, I can see my husband possibly doing this. I might lean over to her and say ‘sorry he doesn’t get out much’ roll my eyes and move on with my day.

Poor you. Why do you stay with a sexist pig? Do you have kids?

FarmGirl78 · 14/08/2025 08:36

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

Erm...me? I wasn't even born then but I'd say air hostess. I might say Fight attendant thinking about it. I've had to read the thread to find out what the proper term is because I genuinely couldn't remember. I don't think I've ever heard a normal person in everyday conversation call them 'cabin crew'.