Friend wants me to look after her DC for 4 days

[FlyingHighandDry]

A friend has asked me to look after their 19 month old DS for 4 days / 3 nights in October while they go to a work event abroad (her and her DH work together)

I really really don’t want to do this.
She caught me on the hop asking me and I just stumbled over my words and ended up agreeing.
I will have to take time off from my job eating into my precious annual leave as even though the DC will be in nursery, they are only in 10-4 and my day including commute is 8-6.

They’ve made out like they’re doing me a favour by telling me I won’t need to have their elder DC as well as they have sorted that childcare!

Friend has a way of bulldozing people into doing things for them.
Please help me formulate something to say to back out of this.
I am a people pleaser and know I need to grow a pair….

Comedy gold! Please like and comment with the link to this thread! She has some nerve.

Say sorry, but you've found out you won't be able to take time off work then. What's important is you tell her straight away so she can make other arrangements.

Of course you can't use your annual leave so that your friend can get free childcare.

Seriously? 🙄

She replied, days ago. It’s there if you look at the OPs posts.

You did the right thing OP, she is beyond rude.

This!!!

Just to further reassure you, you realise that tho it’s a “work trip” they’ll no doubt have every evening free, maybe more, to do what they like!
No childcare responsibilities for 3/4 nights, sounds like a jolly to me!

Just say no!

What do you think she's said? Genuinely, she has refused, then clarified the refusal.

PLEASE DONT RESPOND OP... for the following reasons.

There's an old saying "If the cap fits, wear it." if you respond you will be technically acknowledging that this coward is talking about you.

You've said no to her and now she wants to make you feel the sting of her retribution

She will get a kick out of your responding because, being saintly, she didn't presume to disclose your name. in replying you disclose it yourself.

She's hoping to start a gossip tree from this...getting people to DM her.. and saying to them.. Look at the cheek of her reply.. All the while portraying herself as a wronged woman.

This is the marvellous thing about saying no to Cheeky Fuckers..
They try to punish you by "Distancing " themselves ( how very magnanimous of them!) but what they don't realise that this is usually a blessed relief when they do. No more pressurising and bullying.

PLEASE DON'T SEND HER A LINK TO THIS THREAD... She will just up the ante by saying .. "Not only did she let me down, she got hundreds of people online to write hurtful messages about me. I'm broken."

Ignore, ignore, ignore...will drive her madder in the long run, she wants your engagement in this nonsense because she can't continue dole out her retribution for your disobedience if you don't let her and her distancing you is just brilliant result for you.

If she starts slagging you off to mutual friends, just ask them if they would lose four days of annual leave to look after someone else's 19 month old whilst their parents are abroad on a work event.
You know you did the right thing and knowing that is enough.

Hahaha, a passive aggressive response. Reply "I quite agree friend, I've been thinking the same thing myself".

Brilliant love this you should comment on her post 'no im just putting in boundaries and learning to say no' 'P.S your kid not my problem, your kid your problem!'

My question is wtf did she respond with Charlie will be no trouble when you specifically said you couldn't get the time off work? What difference does it make if the baby is good or not . By that logic they should take their own child on their jolly business trip.

So you now know her true character I wonder if there is a meme you could send to respond!

That's so true! Most hotels have access to a list of babysitters/child-minders for their guests who want some alone time. They could get one for during the day and then have their precious bundle "not any trouble" joy all evening/night.

'Like' or 'love heart' her post !

Ok I found a few…

I agree with @DuckbilledSplatterPuff

Its fun to sit here and think of what you could say in response but someone who is determined to be the victim will twist any way they can to prove their narrative.

Saying nothing at all is the best thing, she cannot win an argument if there is no one to argue with.

I'd probably spend a day or so thinking about what would be the best response, then laugh at myself for giving the ridiculous woman any headspace and do/say absolutely nothing. There's nothing more frustrating than being thwarted when you're spoiling for a fight!

well, to be fair, she knows she hasn't managed to manipulate you into giving her FOUR DAYS of free childcare, so this is her sour grapes

Pathetic really. Good for you!

I am just astonished by such people’s way of thinking. She thinks op is the inconsistent work when op told her she checked her work and she cannot accommodate that week.
The user friend is herself not willing to miss her work and going to a work trip but she expects op to take 4 days off to look after her child.
But in all these not once she sees her own selfishness, and becomes a victim.
I am so interested psychology of such people’s way. Is there any paid job where I can enjoy my research on the working of these people’s brains? 😁

True but what do you do when you have a family member like that who always see themself as a victim even if they are the unreasonable ones.

I did too, for the same reason. Was staggered to find so many thought OP wasn’t BU agreeing to do something she really didn’t want to do, whilst throwing away her own Annual Leave too. 😧