Friend wants me to look after her DC for 4 days

[FlyingHighandDry]

A friend has asked me to look after their 19 month old DS for 4 days / 3 nights in October while they go to a work event abroad (her and her DH work together)

I really really don’t want to do this.
She caught me on the hop asking me and I just stumbled over my words and ended up agreeing.
I will have to take time off from my job eating into my precious annual leave as even though the DC will be in nursery, they are only in 10-4 and my day including commute is 8-6.

They’ve made out like they’re doing me a favour by telling me I won’t need to have their elder DC as well as they have sorted that childcare!

Friend has a way of bulldozing people into doing things for them.
Please help me formulate something to say to back out of this.
I am a people pleaser and know I need to grow a pair….

Bwahahaha!

that IG post.... I am embarassed FOR HER.

Oh just seen this, post this one on your own timeline.

I’d put a 👋🏾 & 😆 emojis and block the dick.

Is it possible to respond on her feed with " it's time to find paid childcare or raise your own children you cheeky fucking bitch" ? Or is that too aggressive?

I think your friend was extremely cheeky and unreasonable to expect you to look after her children, but having initially agreed to it when she asked you, I think it was incredibly rude that you told her by text that you had changed your mind rather than ringing her and telling her in person. I think she has been childish with her response, but maybe if you had spoken to her rather than send a text message, you could have explained your reasons for changing her mind a bit better, and this wouldn’t have happened.

Arguably, loving herself as much as she does is what got her in this mess in the first place.

A total user

Add to yours
"It's time to distance yourself from CFs"
use a fancy font.

Original request made by mother in person so as to catch OP on the hop.
There is no further discussion to be had and no opportunity for pressure by the mother when sending a text.
Best thing is, the mother won't ask again. Had OP been weak and gone through with what she dreading, there would have been more requests in the future.

No friend should ask another who doesn't qualify for a reciprocal agreement to look after their child. A nineteen month old at that.

@PiggyPigalle I agree that the friend should never have asked in the first place, and most people would have refused, but to agree to a face to face request and then change your mind by text is just very very rude, whatever the circumstances.

"It's really short notice for me to find someone else."

Except - it isn't.

"She asked me on Sunday... so 3 days ago" to take care of her toddler for "4 days / 3 nights in October". OCTOBER. So she's got at least six weeks to find a mug 'someone else'. The three days she thought you'd be that mug that someone, versus the six weeks she still has to make arrangements, makes a complete nonsense of her 'short notice' claim.

What a guilt-tripping Cheeky Fucker she is.

It's not rude at all, texting is a normal communication method now.

The CF asked OP in person to put her on the spot. That's rude. She also probably knew OP is a people pleaser, so really thought she had a free sitter for a kid under 2 months old in the bag.

OP got a shiny spine and said no. Texting is not rude.

Now the CF is using SM to take potshots. 😂Would a real friend do that if an unreasonable request was refused? No.

Seriously?

No Op 100% did the right thing by saying No by text.
No chance for her to get talked round. No Ah buts. ...., No pressure.

The other mother didn't ask by text as she was 100% relying on the pressure and Op finding it hard to say No.
Nobody in their right mind would take responsibility for someone else's 19mth old heartbroken baby for 4 days.
Nobody in their right mind would leave a 19mth old.
The other mum is crazy to think otherwise.

Op another non-committal is 'I'll think about it' or 'We'll see'

Wow, passive aggressive. Tells you all you need to know about her as a 'friend'!

'Sorry, my work commitments have changed for the worse, and I now can't look after your groin goblins.'

You have done well op. You don’t need her laying guilt trips on you - you (now ex?) friend is using you and being really sly about it.

Shrug it off.

I would be tempted to do a passive aggressive meme on my timeline as suggested by pps and then block her.

OMG how cheeky. Message her and say I cannot get the time off work!. I will loose my job. Do it now! What a nerve.

She is raging that you have said no. She didn't think for one minute you would turn down her wonderful offer to mind her child. Silly mare.

Omg what a knob 🤣

I'd heart that and message i agree

@Growlybear83
Not just rude, " just very very rude."

Oh my goodness! It’s time to distance yourself from friends like her OP. YA Definitely NBU! Well done on how you’ve handled this.

Unbelievable!

You did so well @FlyingHighandDry - you were assertive and stuck to your guns! Definitely not a people-pleaser anymore! 😊

Unbelievable she asked and even more unbelievable you agreed.

That’s changing nappies and everything. Most people would ask grandparents only possibly very close sibling. But friends? No way.