Friend wants me to look after her DC for 4 days

[FlyingHighandDry]

A friend has asked me to look after their 19 month old DS for 4 days / 3 nights in October while they go to a work event abroad (her and her DH work together)

I really really don’t want to do this.
She caught me on the hop asking me and I just stumbled over my words and ended up agreeing.
I will have to take time off from my job eating into my precious annual leave as even though the DC will be in nursery, they are only in 10-4 and my day including commute is 8-6.

They’ve made out like they’re doing me a favour by telling me I won’t need to have their elder DC as well as they have sorted that childcare!

Friend has a way of bulldozing people into doing things for them.
Please help me formulate something to say to back out of this.
I am a people pleaser and know I need to grow a pair….

Just to add absolutely don't reply or engage with her at all. But I would be so tempted to post under it - is this about you trying to dump your kids on me for four days and me politely letting you know I wouldn't be able to help you out?

God she sounds fukking pathetic. 😆 Cut her loose @FlyingHighandDry And well done for having the courage to say no.

Blockitypops, OP. Easy as pie

I'd be tempted too. Show everyone what she is. If the OP does this, her CF 'friend' will deny it. I'd just bin her to be honest. She is a lousy 'friend.' What a fucking cheek, expecting someone to look after your child for 4 days. Only people you should ask to do such a thing is the child's grandparents! (Or possibly an aunt they - if they are close.)

Hahahahha, she is SOOOOOO ridiculous. Well done you for not letting her take advantage of you.

Not sure what your point is.

I'm only reading all the replies because ONE of her friends must be a MN user.

Not helpful for your current situation but if you are a people pleaser for future situations you need to get used to saying things like “send me the dates and I’ll get back to you once I’ve checked my calendar”, “leave it with me and I’ll get back to you”, “I’m working that day so I’ll have to check with work”.
I’m a people pleaser and I’ve encountered a lot of pushy people including MIL. I’ve practiced not feeling like I need to say yes or make a decision at the time. Even when said pushy person continues to push. People like your friend take advantage of people who feel obliged to give a yes or no answer at the time even when you haven’t actually checked with work etc. Always give yourself that space to make a good decision.

Make your own version with same font saying "Time to put my boundaries in place and leave them there, and be kind to myself #boundariesbitch

Or just repost what she did, or like it to really mess with her 😆

You should reshare with a laughing emoji

I hope you liked it or reacted to it 🤣🤣

That's so true. And any friend he did ask, would just be like "WTF, no way!!" and laugh at him.

Apart from the rest of it, are you very close to her child, OP? I think it might be quite upsetting for a 19-month old to be left for 4 days in an unfamiliar house with someone they don’t know that well.

😂

Perfect! I’d change kids to 19 month old.

She's awfully passive aggressive.

Just because you said no to an extremely unreasonable ask.

I feel kind of bad for her kids. Can you imagine leaving a not even two year old with a near stranger for days?

Op, do whatever makes you feel better. But do it in the knowledge it won't make a blind bit of difference to how she sees this situation. Can imagine it feels very unfair for you, because it is! She doesn't appear to have any self-awareness, or consideration for others. Hope you can leave it behind you and move on. She's not worth any head space. Have a lovely weekend

Please tell me you "liked" the post!

The CF'ery of some people is just off the scale!

Isn't she a piece of work?
is she/was she a good friend? or more of a Johnny-come-lately or casual one?

Either way, she's behaved badly. Sure, if she thought she had childcare sorted and then it turned out it wasn't I can imagine her feeling a bit let down. But it's not 'short notice' when it's in October, and it's very poor form to ask you again once you've said no, and plain babyish to put a PA social media message up.

Do you think you'll hear from her again?

It’s really short notice for her to find someone else, but she asked you only three days ago and has until October to find someone? If it were that short notice, surely she should have been trying to find someone else before three days ago.

She is aware she has a 15 month old and should have told her management that she’s not going to be able to commit to this specific work commitment. What did she think was going to happen? Did she just forget her three children including one baby existed at the time this was agreed? Unless I’m being spectacularly stupid or shortsighted here I just don’t understand. She is absolutely right though, you need to distance yourself or move on from this “friendship”.

This is a good one too.

Good riddance. Id never speak to her again.

Oh yes post that....
😁🤣

My god that is hilarious - I’d wind her up and like the post, maybe add a comment saying “totally agree, I’m trying to be more like this too xxx”

Oh please do this. What a horrible twat she is, so she is only going to be friends with you if you do what she asks! That’s not friendship.