Friend wants me to look after her DC for 4 days

[FlyingHighandDry]

A friend has asked me to look after their 19 month old DS for 4 days / 3 nights in October while they go to a work event abroad (her and her DH work together)

I really really don’t want to do this.
She caught me on the hop asking me and I just stumbled over my words and ended up agreeing.
I will have to take time off from my job eating into my precious annual leave as even though the DC will be in nursery, they are only in 10-4 and my day including commute is 8-6.

They’ve made out like they’re doing me a favour by telling me I won’t need to have their elder DC as well as they have sorted that childcare!

Friend has a way of bulldozing people into doing things for them.
Please help me formulate something to say to back out of this.
I am a people pleaser and know I need to grow a pair….

This is what mute for 30 days is for. Let them scream inti the void. I wonder how many other people have declined their kind offer and will think it's aimed at them?

Wow..at least you’ve seen her true colours now. She’s obviously a little bit tapped and also not used to not getting her own way.

I'd react with a heart emoji and say "Ur right hun Time to put ourselfs 1st".

I would put a laughing emoji react to her post and then I would delete her and put her in the bin where she belongs.

My sister (no kids) is one of the most giving sisters i have ever known, my life would not be nearly as wonderful without her in it, but even so I never place my kids in her care overnight without talking it through fully and checking things are ok because i respect her life (I have a few times for an hour or two when I have to go out, usually with another kid for an activity, i have kinda dumped my kids on her!). She regards my kids almost as her own, and she's never looked after them for days on end. Honestly, and I think she would, I've just never asked!

Grandparents, yes, I have! But alwways with lots and lots of consultation and they can say no (there are other grandparents!!!) Friends? NEVER EVER!

I wonder whether she thought of you more like family member? Like a mother type? Especially given you had kids a while ago.

What a self absorbed narcissist she is ! I was going to say something Stronger.

Insane! Totally aimed at you.

Be prepared for the lies to start. Sorry, that probably feels melodramatic but this is quite narcissistic like (not saying she's a narcissist, just this specific moment of behaviour), and her "victimhood" means she will tell everyone how.awful you are.

I wonder though if she asked someone else before you who also said no and now shes even angrier?!

I would put a big old heart on that post and write how much you agree with it. You are, after all, the one who needs to distance themselves.

Do you need her in your life? If not, ignore her till she stops having a tantrum. Do not apologise for anything further.

This.

Can you find an equally condescending one about distancing yourself from people who take absolute fucking liberties?

> I really really don’t want to do this.

Then don't
Yes, this is the perfect time to 'grow a pair'
Tell them that work cannot give you the time off while they are away

Absolutely this ^^

Best possible response to the CF

What a user twat.
Let her off OP.

Omg what an unbearable Twat!

she is off the charts emotionally unhealthy. This is a great opportunity for you to deeply consider the relationships in your life.
if you have other people like this then get them out. It’s better to be alone and put up with this sort of turdflow

She is no friend. Friends don't do this sort of Gaslighting shit or expect so much. A normal reaction to you saying sorry I can't do it would be. "Oh I totally understand, it was a big ask."

Dump her and block her

This is PERFECT. OP I hope you do this.

Or, in a really curly font...

"Some people just need a high-five...
...in the face with a chair"
Dalai Lama

"It's time to start loving yourself" 😂

I don't think she has any problem in that department.

I bet she’s going to mislead people that she asked you ages ago and not mention that you have to work those days.

hahaha...love this.😂

time for passive aggressive trumps!!

Please please pretty please post this response 🤣

But how else can she still go on her trip? OP won't have been the first person she asked. Anyone who likes her post or comments on it will be her next target for childcare 😂

Wild that she can't see it is far too much to ask. She is a user not a friend. She will be back in touch next time she needs something.

Post this op.