Friend wants me to look after her DC for 4 days

[FlyingHighandDry]

A friend has asked me to look after their 19 month old DS for 4 days / 3 nights in October while they go to a work event abroad (her and her DH work together)

I really really don’t want to do this.
She caught me on the hop asking me and I just stumbled over my words and ended up agreeing.
I will have to take time off from my job eating into my precious annual leave as even though the DC will be in nursery, they are only in 10-4 and my day including commute is 8-6.

They’ve made out like they’re doing me a favour by telling me I won’t need to have their elder DC as well as they have sorted that childcare!

Friend has a way of bulldozing people into doing things for them.
Please help me formulate something to say to back out of this.
I am a people pleaser and know I need to grow a pair….

If it was me I'd post this back 😂

Oh myyyy godddd this person is such a manipulative piece of work
I think probably now you’ll begin to shine a light on all the things that this so called friend does that are toxic and realise you’re better off without her or at least at a very boundaried distance
‘it’s such short notice’! Wow, she’s asked you 3 days ago.
id actually be tempted to follow up with another message and say you’re disappointed in her handling of a situation where she seems willing to consume some of your precious annual leave and doesn’t have the courtesy as a long standing friend to even give you the respect of a sensible reply

I REALLY hope she reads this thread

Inspirational quotes on Facebook and calling you 'hun'?

Is she living in 2008?

Oh. So she’s one of those people. That figures.
Wonder how many ‘Are you ok hun?’ comments there will be 🤨

It’s a horrible passive aggressive thing to do when you have done nothing wrong other than not going along with her completely ridiculous request.

Hope you are ok @FlyingHighandDry

That insta post is hilarious! Does she not realise it could equally apply to what the toddler would feel about her!

I love this! I had thought of 'Yesterday, I learned (the hard way), the definition of a cheeky fucker. Today, I am glad I learned it in time."

As much as I'd like to say I'd be the grown up in this situation, I'd absolutely find it impossible not to take the second choice 😂

Op, as a fellow people pleaser (thankfully surrounded by people who are not generally CFs and encourage me to put myself first instead) I'm very impressed with how you've handled this. CF bulldozes you because she knows you're a people pleaser and when we finally dig our heels in it's a huge affront to CFs. She's now gaslighting you to attempt to guilt you into changing your mind. You can do without 'friends' like her!

As a mum to two dc who have needed childcare at times, I'd never have dreamed of expecting a friend (or relative!) to take annual leave to care for them. That's utter madness.

I'm sure you'll do the right thing of ignoring her Facebook post. But part of me would love to see you respond in a similar manner 😂

It would be tempting to comment "you're so right"

Wow....quite unbelievable
I expect she wants you to see the quote and feel guilty!

Post 💯 under the post and comment something like, "totally agree...as you get older you realise how important boundaries and self preservation are for your own mental health and downtime. Hope you're ok 💛"

CF of the highest order 😂. I would just ignore this and move on. It looks like you had a lucky escape.

🤦‍♀️🤣
has anyone responded with "you ok hun?" yet?

Ugh, attention seeking inspirational shite on sm, you gotta cringe for a her a bit... It goes without saying that you shouldn't give it any oxygen, just completely ignore it. She'll come round or she won't.

How fucking rude of her to post that shit. Do you need to be friends with her? I'd bin her at this point.

Wow!! She’s something else. Sadly she’s not a friend at all and also amazingly nasty! X

Oh. My. GOD.

This makes me absolutely raging on your behalf. RAGING!!

Amazing result!! No more headspace needed, byeeeeeee 👋

I'd just laugh react to her posts. Absolutely pathetic but completely unsurprising.

🤣🤣oo love a passive aggressive Facebook post. She's doing you a favour if she distances herself. Who the heck thinks it's alright to foist a 19 month old 'baby' on a friend. Jeez 🙄 So glad you told her 'no' OP. You should defo 'like' the post

Honestly, Id like it or comment on it, but im petty

So she’s “distancing herself” now that she can’t leech off you any more? Always helpful when trash takes itself out,

please while she’s at the conference post loads of stuff on social media of you having a brilliant time (save up pics from other events if you need to!)

yes, the link to this thread should do it 🤣

I'd put a like on that post OP. From what you've said previously, I can only see the positives.
"It's time to distance yourself..." - no CF requests in future then - that's a positive

@Biffatcrafts this would be an excellent pass-agg response post. 😁

It’s a shame you can’t find a suitable quote about CF’s and post this on your FB account ……