Dm wants me to forgo car seats. Wwyd?

[Carseatdrama]

So we are going on holiday this week. Df has offered to drive us the ten miles to the airport which was gratefully received. It's about 10 miles, on motorway and national roads. Dc are 6 and 7 so have car seats.

Dm wants to wave us off at the airport and has just had a massive go at me for insisting on using car seats resulting in her hanging up when I didn't change my mind. Me and dc could fit in the back with no car seats but not with. She thinks im being ridiculous for insisting on putting them in them and therefore ruining her idea of being able to wave them off. She could say bye to them at my house before we go too.

Df is a taxi driver not to dripfeed so can get away with this as people would presume its a fare paying job so normal laws don't apply.

My take is that it's an unnecessary risk and I'm not comfortable with it. Df offered to drop her off at the airport before coming back to pick us up but she didn't want to sit in greggs for an hour.

Yabu - it's not a big deal, just ditch the car seats
Yanbu - safety first!

Whatever you do, don't let her win. And remember in future, it doesn't matter - not at all - what she wants when that clashes with your decisions as a mother.

You are going on holiday, not emigrating forever - she needs to get a grip.

So she’d rather risk your children’s lives than sit in Gregg’s for an hour?

She’s incredibly selfish.

Jesus christ, get an uber with booster seats.

I can't think of anything worse than having my mother waving me off at an airport, even if I was emigrating. Have you done an airport drop off recenlty? They are hectic and will be insanley busy in August. Why would you want someone flapping around getting in the way when you're trying to find the bag drop etc?

Your mum is being a dick.

Safety first.

100% agree.

I'm not going to change my mind, dc will always be first. She got annoyed yesterday and said I was a hypocrite because on the way back from a day trip to London our train was initially delayed then cancelled because of a suicide on the line. So at midnight, me and dc were stuck at the station before our city in the cold and wet. I grouped together with another stranded woman and we ubered back to our main city, about 15/20 mins on motorway. Difference was that was an emergency situation and there was no other transport options. It was literally that or sit in a train station on our own til morning. So that's her gotcha moment.

Then df rang me this morning about something else but brought it up and I explained I wasn't going to change my mind. Then dm herself called me to ask me to reconsider about an hour later, as soon as I said no and explained it she had a massive go and eventually hung up saying that I'll be asking for her help with childcare in September and I've pissed her off.

Even backless ones are £15 and also less safe. Why should OP pay £30, when she already has car seats, to appease this odd request

The repeated asking when you've said no would (and does, I know exactly what it's like) is draining/anxiety inducing and would really piss me off.
It's designed to wear you down. Stick to your guns, don't be bullied into a decision you're not comfortable about when it comes to your own kids.

I'm with you. When my kids were little we used taxi companies who were happy to use our cst seats, store them and collect us with them on return.

I think she's ridiculous. They aren't there for fun or a "trendy" accessory. They are for safety reasons. I would decline this bat shit request.

Instinct tells me there is a back story of her being ridiculous and self absorbed

Just no - none negotiable. Most airports its drop and run even for Taxi's so why she thinks she needs to go I don't know.

Get someone else to take you to the airport.

This after all this is likely to be what other taxi driver options have

I assume she wants them to park in short term and pay the ticket price

I would sort my own childcare so she can't try to use it as a way to control you

Honestly at this stage I would dig your heels in. If needs be I would have the number for a taxi to hand as I can picture her turning up on the morning giving you no option.

Her behaviour is unhinged, so selfish and bossy. She doesn’t like hearing the word no clearly.

But it really doesn't matter what would happen in other situations. There is no need to compromise the safety of OPs children in this situation. Her mum doesn't need to wave her off at the airport - she's going on holiday for a week!

If her mum is desperate to wave them off (I can't even imagine what this would look like - pre-security airport departures is mental) then she has two options which doesn't involve her grandkids taking a totally avoidable risk - one to 'wave them off' at home or two, wait at the airport.

there is no gotcha moment - it was an unavoidable situation this is perfectly avoidable. As to childcare in September, I would reply and I suppose you will be wanting to see the grandkids and you have pissed me off by not taking their safety seriously. But that is a hand grenade moment!

That has to be one of the most spectacularly stupid and selfish things I've heard.

She would put her grand children's lives at risk, just so she can wave to them for five minutes. Wow. The woman is insane.

For the same reason I would never leave the dcs in her care no matter what childcare costs. She cannot be trusted.

Go back to her and tell her you won't be asking for her help in September because of her willingness to risk your children's lives for her own selfish wishes.

Has she got form for this sort of behaviour?

Absolutely not. My husband has picked our child, their spouse and children ( our grandchildren) up from the airport and I have got the train home.
Wide car and we can get a slim adult strapped in between the 2 car seats, but very uncomfortable.

She's abominably selfish isn't she? Her need to wave off her grandkids trumps their actual safety. Grandmother of the year...

She’s being pathetic. Get a back bone and make your own way there so she can’t be a twat about it!!

Wave you off from the airport? Jeez. You are going in a holiday for a week, not to active service at the front line of a war.

Which airport?
You can't really get close enough to wave anyone off without parking a bit of a distance from the terminal and paying a fortune at most of them