Really want to swim in my pool but I won’t

[Sheateallthehummusagain]

It’s ridiculous, live abroad so it’s very hot, have a large above ground pool. It’s getting darker now, I have lights all around it and in the garden and the water is warm. I just never go in it though! especially not in the day. We are overlooked by a couple of houses, but not hugely and i’m sure they wouldn’t be looking.
I’m the same at the beach, long to swim in the sea, but don’t anymore
It’s down to feeling self conscious now, i’m a large size 16. Dd keeps asking me to go in and I feel like i’m letting her down now 😔

Does anyone feel the same?

It’s just so sad as women that society makes us feel this way. I love water but have had similar concerns OP, until I decided I won’t let it stop me doing something I enjoy. As others have said, so many different body types are represented when you look. I was at a spa recently and honestly there are so many different shapes and sizes on show, it’s quite liberating to see. Again as others have said, get some swimwear you feel comfortable in, that helps. Good luck!

I hope your next swim is even better and you both enjoy yourselves so much!

Honestly, in all the pools and beaches and waterparks of the world, you see all sorts of shapes of people, and nobody cares about anyone else. Truly, everyone is thinking or worrying about how they look themselves (well maybe, I've given up caring and probably lots of people have), but nobody is bothered about how someone else is. All too busy getting on with their own thing!

You won't regret letting go and just cracking on with it, neither will your DD. (I'm sooooo envious of it being hot and you having your own pool...)

I get it - size 16 to 18 and stopped swimming for years because I felt judged - recently restarted as like others say we are simply not that important and tbh people do judge in their heads but who cares you get one life to do things with family! My tip is to buy a swim outfit in a colour you like covers a bit of you that you don’t like much and just jump in. Even if it’s a long arm rashie and swim leggings - you’ll stop caring within a few sessions of doing this. I bought a rash vest to cover my arms and I love it.

Christ, I wish I was a size 16. I'm a size 20 and I'm taking my son swimming at a public pool this afternoon. If people judge me that's their problem - I'm making the most of the school holidays and having fun with my child.

If I had a pool in my garden I'd never be out of it in this weather!

I'm size 16. I ALWAYS swim... in the pool, lakes, rivers, sea. I love kayaking and paddleboardung and my kids are starting to as well. Nobody is looking at me and my children will remember that I was the doing Mum rather than the watching Mum.

Please do not wait until you are slimmer to live your live. Don’t wait for anything.

You are the size that you are whether you are in jeans, leggings or a swimming costume. Our clothes don’t disguise us that well!

Also other people don’t care. They are too busy worrying about their own issues to care about ours!!

Please let today be the day you get in that pool!!!

I was a shy child and if I didn't want to go somewhere or do something because of it, my mum would tell me "Who on earth do you think is going to be looking at you".
That is what I tell myself now as a portly 56 year old donning a swimsuit for the beach - people just don't care enough to think about anyone other than themselves.

That is one of the best comments that I have ever read on MN, ChewyMints. It’s sent me a very strong, personal message - thank you.

At my local swimming pool I see people from size 24 (at least), to teeny tiny, all enjoying their swimming. The thought of having a personal pool and the weather to enjoy it, then not using it because someone might see you and might think negative thoughts, is frankly, bonkers.

I am like you, but a size 24 at the moment (losing weight though!)

When I was a younger size 16 I felt far too self conscious to swim, but now if I was a size 16 I would have no hesitation at all! I missed out on so much when I was younger because I was so self-conscious about my weight but, looking back, it really wasn't that bad at all.

You have a private pool. Your neighbours probably aren't the least bit interested in looking at you at all. SWIM! Enjoy your life.

Yayyy! I'm so happy to hear this. Well done 😁
Isn't it blissful to be in the pool? I'm envious haha.
Do it again, keep on going. Get in today! Sod the neighbours 😁
Well done. Remember, you have the right to enjoy yourself

THIS, a million times this.

You are letting her down. No one give a fudge about you in a swimsuit! I’m far far bigger than you and I take my daughters swimming every week, public swimming pools. On the beach I wear a swimsuit or even shockingly a bikini sometimes. Honestly, no one will even give you a second glance other than maybe thinking how lovely it is to see a mum swimming with her child

Well done for going! You've done amazing! 🥳 I used to struggle with this for so many years but had to bite the bullet and do it because my kid wanted to learn to swim. I'm so glad I literally took the plunge because we have so much fun in the water now, and I have always loved swimming so it's great to be back in the water.

Trust me, it will get easier and hopefully eventually it will become a non issue. You are lucky because you have your own pool so you can go whenever, and I seriously doubt your neighbours care.

I mean this very, very kindly...

As parents, we don't have time for this. Consider it your 'parent privilege'.

I'm not saying that there aren't people who don't have children who are gloriously unself-conscious but it was having kids which made me stop giving a toss. What other people think in this situation (and that's assuming they're even looking at me at all) is not worth my limited bandwidth.

Go in the pool, swim in the sea, you are not only letting your kid down but also yourself. You'll feel a whole lot better when you take the plunge, start tonight

If I was a neighbour and you were swimming in the pool I would probably think "Oh lovely, what a good idea." / "I wish I had a pool." / "Don't they look like they are having fun."

With respect OP it’s not all about you. No one cares! Get in the pool and enjoy yourself!

How lucky are you. What are you complaining about. Just enjoy your pool.