Really want to swim in my pool but I won’t

[Sheateallthehummusagain]

It’s ridiculous, live abroad so it’s very hot, have a large above ground pool. It’s getting darker now, I have lights all around it and in the garden and the water is warm. I just never go in it though! especially not in the day. We are overlooked by a couple of houses, but not hugely and i’m sure they wouldn’t be looking.
I’m the same at the beach, long to swim in the sea, but don’t anymore
It’s down to feeling self conscious now, i’m a large size 16. Dd keeps asking me to go in and I feel like i’m letting her down now 😔

Does anyone feel the same?

So many size 8-10 women feel the same way. It’s not about your size. You’ve reminded yourself how glorious it is for the human body to be in water, to soak in in it, float in it, swim in it, feel its resistance and support. Don’t deny your body the pleasure of a sensual and healthy experience at whatever time of the day or night suits you.

Fantastic update, I’m so pleased for you!

Oh that is lovely to read, OP. Get yourself a short sleeved rash vest and some swimming shorts, and join your DD in the daytime!!

Well done op. Make this a permanent change today.

You should not give a shit what anyone thinks of your size. Because anyone who is thinking anything mean is just a total cunt. Never ever let others stop you enjoying something you love with your dd. Never!

Frankly, I’m a bit bigger that you and I’d happily go in naked any time of the day or night. In fact I did go somewhere that had a nice swimming place that I didn’t know was going to be there. So I stripped to my knickers and just got in topless. Had no towel so blotted myself lightly on the front and back of the tshirt DH was wearing and then just put my shorts and tshirt on knickerless. Honestly nobody gave any fucks, I had a great time and DH thought it was funny. It was outdoors and free.

Great! Well done!

Do it! I've been at the seaside the last two days and people of all ages and sizes have been on the beach and enjoying swimming on a hot day.

Well done.

If you remain self conscious get a big over the head towel poncho or robe. It will be about half a second between removing and getting in or out.

Once you are in the water no one can see your figure anyway.

But really, no one else will care. When did you last stare at any of your neighbours using their pools?

No, I don't ever feel that I can't go in my pool. I don't have a pool. I'd love a pool. The fact that I'm overweight would not stop me swimming in my pool.

I spent several holidays not going in the pool. If I did I’d be in a tshirt, full length sarong plus bra and knickers underneath the full swimming costume. I’ve been so angry at myself when I haven’t let myself go in. Made a big fuss of DD in the water every time whether I went in or not so she’d still have a good time. Your own pool? Screw the neighbours, I’d be in there (yes still wearing all of the above) at every opportunity. And you are letting her down because it’s literally at home. We haven’t been able to go on holiday since 2019 and I can’t imagine being able to save enough to do so again. Enjoy what you have and make the most of it with your child.

No one is watching you, they are all doing their own thing in their own lives with their own people. To put it bluntly, no one in the outside world gives a single fuck about you, what you are doing or what you look like. I say that last part to myself regularly, it gets me through when I'm feeling anxious or insecure :) go and have fun in the pool.

Get in!

I’m the sane size as you. I spend most of my life looking for a oppurunity to swim!

Well done @Sheateallthehummusagain!

Hang on to that feeling! Far nicer than hating on yourself!

And kindly… if your weight is having this much of an impact on how you feel, maybe you need to take some steps to address those feelings. I don’t mean by being on a diet… but taking some steps towards coming to some acceptance of yourself… whilst doing something positive for your health by increasing activity. It will make you feel good when those endorphins start flowing.

Best of luck!

You think if you dont get in your pool, no-one will realise youre a size 16?
No-one cares. Its completely neutral.
The only people hurting here are you and your daughter.
Could you get some board shorts and a swimming tshirt if you prefer to stay covered

Hooray!!
Well done.
Keep doing it. Soon you won't think twice.

Fantastic, OP!

I wasted 25 years of opportunities to get in a pool because of my insecurities about my body. Now I know nobody is bothered what I look like and I love being in the water.

I hope you’ll come back tomorrow and tell us how much you’ve enjoyed your day in your pool!

So happy for you and your daughter op, life is too short - well done!

I'm 5'4'' and currently weigh just over 200 pounds. I've been in three different public swimming pools in the last fortnight without a second thought. I am envious of your pool and would be in it all the time 😁

Dear OP
here you are…..

G'wan gurrl! 😃

Im back from hols and there were women of every shape, some easily 24 plus
My size 18 ass was happy in the pool every day. No one cares but you

I have a friend that makes me so sad at times for her. She wont do anyhting until she has lost weight. She has put her life on hold as she will do x,y,z when she is thinner. She hasn't lost weight and probably wont. She missing out on so much but seems to think losing the weight will be a magic key to begin life, its been at least 10 years now

OP I mean this kindly, literally nobody is looking at you or cares.

Sorry pic didn’t post

I mean this kindly..... Read the OP's posts/update!

LOL @Cursula I love that!

Aren't we so fucked up regarding body image, especially women. We carry this constant critic in our heads, from media, from others.

I know it's hard to overcome.

I say, thinking about when you are on your death bed, will you say 'I'm so glad the neighbours never saw me in the pool"

If they judge...that's on them...f them...hand it back.

You are beautiful and worthy, you deserve your pool time, you need to give time to loving yourself. Teach your DD that.

🌻