To lock up all our food etc when we leave

[ChangerMonNom]

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

But then they’ll get argumentative and somehow try to make OP look like the unreasonable ones.

By leaving an almost finished roll of loo paper, a box of dishwashing tablets with only 1 in it, a virtually empty salt/pepper/oil etc they can’t complain because OP can feign innocence and say they just left what they were using

OP you could leave a half empty or more full version if something no one wants. Like cornflour or arrowroot.

And I wouldn’t bother buying milk etc for them. If they complain just say you didn’t have time. If they keep complaining just look at them like they are nuts and say apart from you no one buys for the next guest anyway so seeing how ungrateful sil is being on the one time you didn’t have time, you won’t bother in future

Please do this and please report back.

Agree with your husband - leave the bog roll. It's nice to be nice!

Team petty here too. They are taking the piss and stingy AF

The thing is the suitcase is locked, so if they do go snooping, find the suitcase, work out the combination and findOPs emergency stash they will work out why the stash has been hidden while they have only been left with 3 teabags and half a loo roll. The shame should be enough to silence them.

Just leave a few t bags, maybe a small bottle of milk in the freezer, 1 new toilet roll. Not enough to cost you but just enough to say we left you something. Be aware of escalation but easy enough to bring your own things. Surprised the bills haven't been mentioned. You have used ££££ of water/electricity whilst we washed with rainwater and sat in the dark

They're not just using it all when they're there, they're taking everything back home with them. So that box of dishwasher tablets you bought for your last evening, they took the box home with them after. She's a grabby CF.

I'd take everything home. The most I'd leave them would be 2 sheets on the end of a toilet roll.

YANBU. Your SIL should replace what she’s used. We have a similar arrangement and we always replace everything and leave the place spotless. People often travel after work and arrive late. It’s horrible to arrive with no basic essentials in place.

YANBU. Your SIL should replace what she’s used. We have a similar arrangement and we always replace everything and leave the place spotless. People often travel after work and arrive late. It’s horrible to arrive with no basic essentials in place.

Can you not agree some sort of inventory list that everyone agrees must be present at the end of the stay? Like 10 dishwasher tabs, salt & pepper oil, x amount of washing powder/tabs etc.

Another one who thinks you should leave a quarter of a loo roll, one dishwasher tablet, no milk or teabags. It will be very interesting to see if they leave behind the supplies they will have to purchase

I agree with you but I would leave scrapings of things. One teabag in the caddy, a few sheets on the toilet roll etc. This way you're still leaving them stuff - but just enough that they can’t accuse you of leaving nothing (and it should send a subtle message).

I definitely agree with the suggested middle ground of leaving a small amount of essentials but make it obvious - 2 spoonfuls of coffee, 2 eggs, 1 dishwasher tablet etc.

I think you should definitely leave things you will need for your next holiday locked up with your other personal belongings.

With regards to your DH, just tell him it's not about denying your SIL from using those things, it is making sure you don't have the inconvenience of restocking next time you go there, in the same way you leave toiletries and changes of clothes etc.. you want to be holiday ready. Either that or take them away and bring them back every time.

I wouldn't have a problem SIL using stuff but I'd be mightily pissed off if they left things empty, it's just selfish.

It doesn't seem wrong to do this. You are just working by her rules, and that seems fine. I wouldn't give it another thought.

But maybe don't lock anything in a suitcase that is going to go off catastrophically if you are not there. e.g. oil that might go bad. Powdered milk is fine and pasta and stuff. Must also be in a mouseproof container, or you will get beasties.

Go for it OP. Cheeky feckers!!

Your family already pays more than either of the other families so I agree that you should lock all your stuff up when you leave. I'd leave them the same amount of stuff that they leave you.

Oh this is my kind of thread…..I vote for 1 teabag, enough toilet roll for somebody to have a poo but not the other person thus forcing somebody to resort to digging a tissue out from the bottom of a bag or a quick dash to the local coop, 1 sheet of kitchen roll so probably not enough to wipe up a spill and enough pasta for one person and absolutely no more, little things designed to frustrate and inconvenience SIL might make her mend her ways.

I can’t abide mean people, such a ghastly character trait.

I'm fuming on your behalf!

definitely change the code to a random number OP as SIL will likely guess it.

Out of interest, what would your DH's view be if it was members of your family who were being CFers? Would he be equally as blasé with your grocery items?

Two sheets of loo paper would be more amusing than two tea bags. Absolutely do it, but please report back we all love CF comeuppance 😆

@Canijustsayonething DH is the most generous person in the world (too fucking generous) so he'd probably vote to say nothing if it was my family too- but they wouldn't dare! When my mum has come to stay with us on occasion, she has brought the whole of Tesco with her on arrival

Absolutely leave silly little amounts of these things.

And if they say anything just act confuses that they’d expect you to leave it for them as they don’t leave it for you so you didn’t realise that was the expectation.

Don't leave it at dsd birthday or she'll message dh for the code and he'll give it to her I reckon..
Ps lemon in milk = butter milk for fab KFC style chicken..

my DH would be the same @ChangerMonNom Generous to a fault. However, I agree you need to teach SIL a lesson. It's not the fact that they use the stuff, it's packing up all the remaining bits (i.e. dishwasher tabs etc) to take back home knowing a) it's not hers to take away and b) leaves you with nothing when you arrive! So rude!