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AIBU?

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To lock up all our food etc when we leave

906 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
angela1952 · 20/08/2025 10:23

I can only imagine how irritating @ChangerMonNom must find her SIL, she's totally inconsiderate and mean. She's supposed to be a responsible adult and should know better.
@BiddyPopthe2nd has some great ideas and we've tried most of them over the years, but it is my adult children and our GC who use the house most and it just doesn't always work. We don't want to make going there a tiresome chore for all concerned, though we all do what can be done simply. For example they often leave early in the day to avoid traffic and have no time to wash the sheets - we usually have enough for them to leave the dirty ones near the washer so that the next visitor can wash them, often DH and me.

But too many rules can spoil the comfortable feeling of going to the house and it is different for us as it is only our DC and families who visit, so I don't feel so resentful - also we all do the basic housework but don't use a cleaner, though some family members do less than others. I don't mind stocking up with dishwasher tablets, toilet paper and cleaning products - they're my DC so I don't resent it.
One of my DS is good about doing the odd bit of DIY or decorating, one DD always leaves the place immaculate, but I try not to get bothered by minor problems and always take enough food with me for a basic meal and a drink, just in case. I buy second hand sets of vintage plates on EBay every now and again to keep the stocks up, though we break less now that the children are older.
As we get older I wonder what we will do with the house. We're already paying double council tax which, coupled with the cost of water and of running low heating in cold weather, is very expensive. I absolutely appreciate that we are very lucky to have a holiday home but we have it because we don't take foreign holidays (and very rarely have done in the past) and spend all our money in this area in the UK rather than on expensive flights and hotels. We bought a house that nobody local wanted, almost 40 years ago, and spent a lot of money on simple renovations which were long overdue.

We've always accepted that we will pay CGT when we sell, but the punitive regime coming in now means that we will probably have to sell before long. At the moment there are dozens of houses for sale in the area, not all second homes by any means. House prices are not that high there, there is simply no interest from anyone in buying. A (resident) neighbour is trying to move and has had no viewings in more than a year.
I imagine I will be slated for this, but wanted to say my piece. Be kind!

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 20/08/2025 12:08

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

Agree

Dogaredabomb · 22/08/2025 14:30

Do you have your own bedrooms?

Kelly1969 · 02/09/2025 20:13

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:22

Oh and there was this classic from her.

I said 'cleaner has been friday so everything should be clean' and she said - 'oh good. last time they didn't really clean the window sills but hopefully they did this time'

I said 'well I'm only prepared to pay for two hours so they do what they can in that time and it's better than anyone else does'. No reply to that.

Haha 🤣 love it, you did well!
what a cheeky comment about the cleaner!

Vanillazebra · 06/08/2026 23:41

@ChangerMonNom how did this turn out?

Hippee · 07/08/2026 04:59

ChangerMonNom · 17/08/2025 18:22

Oh and there was this classic from her.

I said 'cleaner has been friday so everything should be clean' and she said - 'oh good. last time they didn't really clean the window sills but hopefully they did this time'

I said 'well I'm only prepared to pay for two hours so they do what they can in that time and it's better than anyone else does'. No reply to that.

I was watching this thread last year and now it has been resurrected I am desperate for some CF updates. OP, please come back and update!

Shinyandnew1 · 07/08/2026 09:54

I remember this thread! Any updates?

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 10/08/2026 11:38

Having mentioned it and it happens a lot I’d go with locking things away now. Teach her a lesson.

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:02

I love how invested you all are!

OP posts:
ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

OP posts:
Kelly1969 · 10/08/2026 15:10

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

Omg!
yes, block access to anything you pay for!
I know it’s nice to share especially when it’s at no cost to you but that has to be reciprocated which it def isn’t!

SpiritedFlame · 10/08/2026 15:57

Thank you for updating. I was so excited (unreasonably so!) to get an email notification haha

Cherrysoup · 10/08/2026 16:39

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

Brilliant! I’d be so cross if a family member behaved like sil, she’s a right cf!

rookiemere · 10/08/2026 16:39

@ChangerMonNom thank you so much for the update!
Hows your DH adjusting to any digs caused by the reduced hospitality? I assume you aren’t paying for their meals any more.

MrsMitford3 · 10/08/2026 16:46

@ChangerMonNom

So satisfying for the Op to come back and update!!!

What have the CF's said? Have they addressed it?

menopausequeen · 10/08/2026 16:49

I vote for pettiness. I’m sick of free loaders. Perhaps they will realise what it’s like then to arrive with nothing.

ChocolateBiscuitsandaCuppa · 10/08/2026 16:52

Another one who enjoyed your update, and not being taken for a ride by tight SIL.

BMW58 · 10/08/2026 16:54

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:06

updates: cf-ery continues but suitcase idea is working out well for us. I’ve also taken to signing out of all our TV channels Netflix etc when we go, as I know they’re too tight to pay for their own and enjoy using ours for every stay (they’ve said as much!). Despite this I even got a sign in attempt email after Easter hols - so imagine they were trying to guess my password or something.

Marvellous stuff!!!!

So very satisfying to hear of people standing up to these fuckers.

Thank you !!!👏

Carriemac · 10/08/2026 17:17

We too have a holiday home and one and only one of our family are similar but we have a lockable kitchen cupboard and only lock it for them

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 18:36

Nothing has been said as far as I know. We did meet up at a restaurant last Xmas time and paid for dinner naturally (but they still asked for a doggy bag).even the kids were mortified on their behalf

OP posts:
1HappyTraveller · 10/08/2026 22:40

ChangerMonNom · 10/08/2026 15:02

I love how invested you all are!

No one likes a CF!!!

mineallmine · 11/08/2026 00:55

1HappyTraveller · 10/08/2026 22:40

No one likes a CF!!!

Edited

But everyone loves a CF tale😁

GladCrab · 11/08/2026 00:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

1HappyTraveller · 11/08/2026 06:58

mineallmine · 11/08/2026 00:55

But everyone loves a CF tale😁

this is also true 😂

TheReplacement · 11/08/2026 07:08

mineallmine · 11/08/2026 00:55

But everyone loves a CF tale😁

Absolutely we do. OP do please keep us updated after this summer's holiday Flowers