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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lock up all our food etc when we leave

879 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 11/08/2025 19:02

YANBU, do it and don’t leave a single thing out, not even one loo roll!

Wexone · 11/08/2025 19:03

I would. we have similar in family holiday home. what's even worse is that my bil and sil can't even be bothered to empty the fridge when they leave. it could be a few weeks between people's visit (they don't bother cleaning either- I arrange that - another story won't go there ) and often have to clean it after gone off fruit and veg and milk. they often leave stupid fancy food that no one eats - you know stuff that comes in Xmas hampers. the shop is a 10 mins walk down the road or the supermarket is a 15 min drive. lock it all up to ensure they don't eat it. they will learn their lesson

MzHz · 11/08/2025 19:03

And in future, being polite with these revolting people @ChangerMonNom is getting you nowhere

be clear. “SIL/BIL, in the past, as mentioned previously the deal on using this property is that out of courtesy you leave enough basic supplies for the next person, milk, eggs, toilet paper etc and this is for good reason, as you can now fully appreciate. You’ve chosen to be stingy and this means the rules change. Bring what you need with you or arrive to nothing. As we have a million bloody times. Annoying isn’t it?”

SockFluffInTheBath · 11/08/2025 19:03

I second the idea of a lidded plastic tub you can take the remains home in and fill ready for your trips. You’re not hosting her, you don’t need to provide for her.

Lifeislove · 11/08/2025 19:05

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:18

Question - is two teabags left in the caddy more pointed than none at all?

2 is the perfect number.
And loo roll 1/4 full or less.
Coffee granules , 3 tsp. Pods x 2.
Salt/ Pepper leave as is.
Oil? Mmmm I'm thinking 3cm?
Dishwasher tabs def 1.
Nothing else.
I really hate stingy people so give them a taste of their own medicine. Petty? Maybe but if this is ongoing it would drive me nuts. It's so inconsiderate too.

Cyclingmummy1 · 11/08/2025 19:06

I'd leave 1 or 3, in the boxes so it looks like you've not noticed it's about to run out, half a roll of toilet paper, etc, etc.

And I'd take everything else home in a box, ready for next time.

It's definitely a case of leave it as you find it 😉

Doingmybest12 · 11/08/2025 19:07

I'd just not go out of my way to leave them stuff, so I'd leave odds and sods it makes no sense to take and keep and store things I could keep til a later visit. Leave one dw tab, one loo roll. Or suggest a kitty for basics.

Robin67 · 11/08/2025 19:07

Don't go high. She can buy her own stuff

Rosegoldy · 11/08/2025 19:07

Team petty.
We have a similar situation and if I had a mean SIL I'd be mean as fxxk too.
It would annoy me.
Thankfully we don't.

savethatkitty · 11/08/2025 19:08

I'd leave the absolute minimum & lock away the rest. Don't tell your DH. What he doesn't know won't hurt him & you'll get some small satisfaction of annoying SIL.

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 11/08/2025 19:09

Absolutely do not carry on leaving stuff at the level you have been. Im definitely with the you can have tons of fun with this brigade!

HellonHeels · 11/08/2025 19:11

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

This! But it's got to be a half-finished loo roll and preferably the cheapest you can find. No Andrex XL!

Blankscreen · 11/08/2025 19:12

I wouldn't leave a thing.

They can then realise how annoying it is to turn up late to no loo roll or basic supplies.

Radiowaawaa · 11/08/2025 19:13

Leave it as you found it. Isn’t that the general rule of holiday cottages?

Although I prefer wild camping- leave no trace 😉

Givenupshopping · 11/08/2025 19:14

If they've left you without loo roll OP, I would definitely do a tit for tat on this, as there is NOTHING worse in my opinion, than going to the loo only to realise there is absolutely no paper in the house! They should be bloody ashamed of their tight arse ways.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 11/08/2025 19:14

My god, what tight CFs. Team Petty here too.

One sheet of toilet paper on the roll
One tea bag

Everything else in a clear lockable box so they can see the produce but can't use it. Pop it in a cupboard with a note saying due to the cost of living, you can no longer fund the consumables for their stay.

Icecreamandcoffee · 11/08/2025 19:15

Absolutely either take with you or lock away.

3 tea bags is perfect
Last few tsp of coffee (bonus points if it's hard or sad looking)
1/4 or less of loo roll (if there are 2 loos leave one with just a square or 3 on the roll)
2 dishwasher tabs
1 or 2 cm of oil - bonus points if it is looking cloudy or on the turn.
No eggs
Enough milk for 1 and 1/2 cups of tea or coffee
1 washing pod
Leave the salt and pepper
Less than 1/4 pack of butter

Id make it look like you had rushed to get out. Leave just enough that you would definitely have to go shopping but not too little to make it obvious you may have stashed things away. If you get asked about it, head tilt, oh yes we were very busy enjoying the weather, didn't have time for a stock up shop but there should have been enough for 1 day till you get to the shops as there is only 2 of you.

Vaxtable · 11/08/2025 19:15

You are right. I would just take them home with you, leave them in a box and bring them back next time

Londonmummy66 · 11/08/2025 19:15

viques · 11/08/2025 18:41

I would leave any left over milk in the carton if I knew they were arriving the same day. Though I might accidentally leave it out of the fridge in direct sunlight…….🙂

Squeeze of lemon juice in the carton to encourage it to go off even in the fridge. Do leave the other half of the lemon in the fridge for them though.

Fenellasbum · 11/08/2025 19:16

I’d leave most of it. Just no toilet paper so they are inconvenienced. I’d leave 1 dishwasher tab so they have to buy a new bag.

Didntask · 11/08/2025 19:16

Another vote for Team Petty here. That kind of tightness infuriates me!

Backinthedress · 11/08/2025 19:16

Get some UHT milk, shit tea. Shit coffee. Stuff you wouldn't want to use and tell her you're having to cut back a bit due to cost of living and how much the boys eat etc. But you didnt wsnt to leave them high and dry.

Then keep the good stuff back for you.

Rewis · 11/08/2025 19:17

Our family has a shared cottage and the rules are if you use something and it is getting empty, buy a new one. And there should always be salt, tea, coffee, porridge, toilet paper, washing liquid, butter, clean hand towels, beds stripped (if using the same beds) etc. In the other shared property our family and my uncles family have separate rooms and kitchens so everyone buys their own so thats never a problem. They've taken the separation to extreme. They even have their own dishwasher buckets

But yeah, take the stuff away to make sure they're there for you next time.

TrixieFatell · 11/08/2025 19:17

Id absolutely do this. I am incredibly petty and stuff like this makes me happy. Hate CFers

Chinsupmeloves · 11/08/2025 19:18

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

This! Enough to last for the first night and that's being generous.

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