To lock up all our food etc when we leave

[ChangerMonNom]

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

I’d leave a few tea bags ,some coffee , sugar , salt and pepper but take the rest home .
I would leave one or 2 loo rolls for each toilet , maybe 4 / 5 dishwasher tabs and one or 2 laundry pods because that’s pretty much what would be left in a holiday rental.
The arriving to no supplies because they’d used everything up and hadn’t replaced it would drive me nuts

Oh fuck that. Keep a small bag of oil, S&P, loo roll and another 24 hours of basics in your car, leave the tightwads with nothing, as they do for you! Next time they bring it up, say 'oh SIL, but as you know, we're a family of 4. We used everything WE purchased'.

youve tried asking and it got you nowhere so yeah be petty

This
and take the lockable suitcase home with you - bring it back when you are next there
leave them one bog roll a couple tea bags a dishwasher tab
that way they will have to buy or bring their own replacements . Your DH is being unreasonable. it’s not your job to pay for them - you have four children to pay for, what they are doing is unfair. I wouldn’t dream of doing that. Whatever you earn is irrelevant also. They’ve gotten used to the free supplies it seems

Heres the thing. She won't even know there is stuff in the suitcase.

It will just look like you used it all. Like every time she does it.

So she can't actuaally complain, because she's done it before and she doesn't know youve put it in the suitcase deliberately.

I'd usually advise you to rise above it. But fuck that for a game of soldiers! Leave one used teabag and an empty loo roll. Ha.

Just leave the place as you found it, that’s what I’d do.

The arriving to nothing like has happened to you would drive me insane. Its so selfish of the pair of them

Id be tempted to have a locked cupboard.

Team petty. All the way.

She needs to be told you’re not fucking Tesco and get her own stuff. Would DH be as willing to let it go if it was your sister?

Honestly, I'd just have a box of stuff that I put in the car and take away with me when I leave. I'd never do that normally, but this sort of thing really riles me.

Used, squeezed out and left out to dry and reuse

I’d wait till I got a toilet roll with just a bit left on it and keep that to leave them and take the rest home. Sod them, I would be leaving them no more than was left for you!

Take all the toilet roll.
Im petty

Definitely do it! TBH though I might take the suitcase home, in case they got suspicious and ‘by mistake’ ha ha broke into it…
Leaving you with no loo roll would really be the last straw for me - having once arrived at a holiday let with 2 loos and no paper - when I was bursting!

I know it’s a pain but I would put everything like that in a big plastic tub and put it in the boot of my car and take it home. Then it is all there ready to put back in my car the next time I go. That is what we do for our campervan and it works well.

It is not just the money but the cognitive load of having to keep remembering to buy all of those things each time you go. If you have them all together ready, it makes it easy and takes away the stress. Milk you can just stop off on the way to grab a bottle.

I'd definitely lock it all up.
More out of curiosity than anything.

No. I'm lying. I'd do it so I could dance the dance of a thousand I told you so's at my husband when she kicked off about it and thus confirmed how entitled she is.

I’ve had late arrivals at airbnbs where the host KNEW I’d be late and nothing at all was left. I was raging!! She’d even asked and said she’d leave us bits and pieces and in the past I’d had bread/milk etc so at least there is breakfast on morning 1.

if this was family, no fucking way would I let this continue. Do it @ChangerMonNom and ignore ANY comms from the in-laws on the subject.

I would leave the condiments but I’d take the tea bags, loo roll etc. Basically I’d force her to provide those.

Yeah I’d leave just the basics as someone suggested
they really should be bringing their own supplies x

I'd leave a couple of dishwasher tablets ..leave what's left of the toilet roll and don't replace it with a full one.
Leave any milk but don't leave a full one.
My level of pettiness would be raging but then I am going through the menopuse

WhatsApp in the family group

heads up SIL, er used the last of the oil and loo roll, it’s really annoying arriving and not having the essentials so thought I’d let you know.

Followed by after SIL has been, hi SIL are any essentials needed before we get there tomorrow, always good to know.

Maybe leave three...and a torn one.

Yes, I would be petty but I really don’t understand how you can carry on sharing a cottage with people who are this mean.

This is what I would do. Locking it away in the actual house seems a bit odd and petty but taking it home seems a bit more justified.