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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lock up all our food etc when we leave

879 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
hmmnotreallysure · 11/08/2025 18:35

MrsLizzieDarcy · 11/08/2025 18:34

If you all contribute financially, then I'd suggest having a kitty for essentials like loo roll, cooking oil, salt/pepper, teabags, dishwasher tablets etc. And have a rule that there has been enough for the new arrivals for 24 hours.

This is a good idea

RealEagle · 11/08/2025 18:36

Don’t leave anything,hide it all

jay55 · 11/08/2025 18:36

I’m fully on team petty.

CrotchetyQuaver · 11/08/2025 18:37

Do it! I have had a lifetime of this from my brother...

ChristmasFluff · 11/08/2025 18:37

I'd leave nothing. She can hardly complain, as she does the same. If she does complain, then it proves she knows it's an inconsiderate thing to do, but she does it anyway.

Bollocks to 'going high' and 'being the better person'. People like this might think twice if others treated them the way they treat others.

G5000 · 11/08/2025 18:37

OH definitely leave the bare minimum. They can't complain - you have never agreed to leave a fully stocked house, have you? And they barely use anything, so of course you thought what you left is plenty!

TheKeeperOfTissues · 11/08/2025 18:37

@oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends (fab name)
I agree with 3 tea bags. Its a shitty number with the connotations of 'you used the last bag, you go to the shop' vibes 👹
Can't stand mean people.
Im not sure this will change them though, it may well cause a difficult feud 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bobbybobbins · 11/08/2025 18:37

Leave a bit and this will really piss them off. If yet raise it, they have more front than Blackpool 😆

tommyhoundmum · 11/08/2025 18:37

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

This, but maybe take the rest home with you don't leave it behind.

Jk987 · 11/08/2025 18:38

Leave the basics and message them to tell them you didn’t stock up like you normally do and confirm that’s the plan going forward unless you both want to change.

hmmimnotsurewhy · 11/08/2025 18:38

Team petty. Definitely leave 3 so one of them is going to be so pissed off making the next one 😅
or leave 4 but rip a tiny tear in one.
CF- I hate tight people. Hate them

CornishTiger · 11/08/2025 18:38

EscapeTheCastle · 11/08/2025 18:21

I would leave 3 teabags. Then in the morning one of them would have to go without.
Or would 5 be better? Then you can be really "innocent" if they bring it up.

This!!!

MyDeftDuck · 11/08/2025 18:38

Can you source an empty box and just leave one dishwasher tablet and very little salt? Also, can you make sure the other cleaning materials and non-perishables have very little left in them. Their constant comments about not using ice wouldn’t sit right with me tbh…….don't mind helping someone once or twice but when they start taking the piss…….different matter altogether

chatgptsbestmate · 11/08/2025 18:38

Leave a quarter of a loo roll
2 tea bags
A teaspoon of olive oil
Take the rest home with you
Go high, my fanny 🙄🤣

dudsville · 11/08/2025 18:39

My view is to not leave anything, or to put it in the locked suitcase. Why leave a small amount knowing it will just be used? If you leave nothing, and plan to bring what you need, then you won't be irritated by others.

outerspacepotato · 11/08/2025 18:39

Take the stuff you buy with you. If they leave you with no tp or spices or food items, match their energy and spending.

Why should you be funding their household items and food when they leave you guys with zip?

Butteredtoast55 · 11/08/2025 18:39

Shedmistress · 11/08/2025 18:10

I'd put it in a suitcase, and take suitcase home.

Same here!

YesTonightJosephine · 11/08/2025 18:39

I would take EVERYTHING!

CFs!

If they replaced everything then fine but no I am with you OP!

I would not even leave it in a locked suitcase ...

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:39

I'm almost certain if we suggested a kitty or some other sharing set up, SIL would say 'oh but you're a family of four and you eat soooo much more than us' (she once commented with shocked face on my teenage boys' milk consumption when we shared the space - ignoring that 1. we provided said milk (of course) and 2. THEY'RE TEENAGE BOYS

OP posts:
dutchyoriginal · 11/08/2025 18:39

wimonnzy · 11/08/2025 18:13

I could play games with this. One dishwasher tab, one washing gel tab, a bit of salt n pepper, the end of a bag of pasta and a few sheets on a toilet roll, use your imagination. Just enough to keep them from saying you were MEAN, when in fact it is they that are tight.

Have fun!

This. 1/4 loo roll, 2 dishwasher tabs, pasta for one.... Don't tell them why immediately, just go "oops, best to do a big shop before you arrive..."

CornishTiger · 11/08/2025 18:39

Although 3 is generous. I’d have left one.

AffIt · 11/08/2025 18:40

Whoever came up with the idea of three teabags is a genius. 😁

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 11/08/2025 18:41

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:39

I'm almost certain if we suggested a kitty or some other sharing set up, SIL would say 'oh but you're a family of four and you eat soooo much more than us' (she once commented with shocked face on my teenage boys' milk consumption when we shared the space - ignoring that 1. we provided said milk (of course) and 2. THEY'RE TEENAGE BOYS

That is petty! How DARE you and your family consume stuff you bought!!

viques · 11/08/2025 18:41

SirBasil · 11/08/2025 18:21

one teabag is the level of petty PA that i could get behind.

And a loo roll that is down to the last 2 squares that are stuck to the cardboard tube. And a tiny splash of milk in a carton. And nothing. And never ever speak of it.

I would leave any left over milk in the carton if I knew they were arriving the same day. Though I might accidentally leave it out of the fridge in direct sunlight…….🙂

BaronessBomburst · 11/08/2025 18:42

Team Petty.
3 tea bags and less than half a loo roll.