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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lock up all our food etc when we leave

879 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
Londontown12 · 11/08/2025 18:23

Plus I bet if they bought it they id deffo take it with them lol 😂 x

ragandbonewoman · 11/08/2025 18:24

SunsetCocktails · 11/08/2025 18:09

Hmmmm ….. that’s a level of pettiness I think I can get behind 😆

Seconded

tripleginandtonic · 11/08/2025 18:24

It's your dh's family, let him make the decision.

SirBasil · 11/08/2025 18:25

if anyone complains "oh i really needed the loo, got there and no paper" the answer is "oh I know, i HATE it when that happens"

AppleSlag · 11/08/2025 18:25

ragandbonewoman · 11/08/2025 18:24

Seconded

Thirded! I’d leave two tea bags and one toilet roll.

MatildaTheCat · 11/08/2025 18:26

I can take you further down this path.

Lock stuff away but be sure they won’t find it, leave a small amount of basics and then leave a cheery message saying the house has got a bit low on supplies so please can they stock up this time?

They won’t obviously but it will annoy them

CrownCoats · 11/08/2025 18:27

Why are you paying more towards the house when your SIL uses it more? Do you own a larger percentage of the property?

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 11/08/2025 18:28

I wouldn't leave anything there at all - or perhaps a loo roll with a few sheets on it.

Campingisnexttogodliness · 11/08/2025 18:28

I'd rather be known as petty than a bloody sponger..
Take every damn thing home. Even the loo roll.

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:28

We have mentioned it before (see her 'we don't use much) response. Oh but I've just remembered, once when there was a day's overlap, DH suggested SIL pick up some dishwasher tabs when she popped to the village there, she conveniently forgot and we had to go out later in the car and replenish them for our last night's stay - meaning we only used one! They're shameless!

OP posts:
Campingisnexttogodliness · 11/08/2025 18:28

If you do lock it up don't use a family birthday as the code. Sil will spend days trying them all I suspect!!

Barrenfieldoffucks · 11/08/2025 18:28

She can't expect it both ways surely? If the expectation that she has is that when she arrives there are things available for her to use then surely she must also assume that she then has to leave things for other people to use? We all know the answer to that in this instance, but it would be the level of disingenuousness I would engage if she dated raised it.

"Oh, I didn't realise we were still doing that? Shall we agree on a list of staples that well both agree to make sure is topped up before we leave? I agree it is hugely irritating to be scrabbling around when we arrive"

minipie · 11/08/2025 18:29

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:18

Question - is two teabags left in the caddy more pointed than none at all?

I’d leave 3 so it looks accidental rather than “we left you one each and no more”

GleisZwei · 11/08/2025 18:30

They're taking this piss OP.
Leave them nothing, let them see how annoying it is.

MounjaroMounjaro · 11/08/2025 18:30

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:18

Question - is two teabags left in the caddy more pointed than none at all?

Leave three and then they'll have an argument. Or one and they can have a cup of weak tea each.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 11/08/2025 18:30

Absolutely do it, definitely on board with this level of pettiness.

Jazz7 · 11/08/2025 18:30

Definitely leave one tea bag etc as if you just used everything but put rest in a bag and take home to leave for next time. They might well find the suitcase. This way looks as if you just used everything. Perfectly reasonable. Also run down fresh stuff like milk and take eggs and cheese etc home to use yourself. If you don’t teach them they won’t learn

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:31

@CrownCoats without going into too much detail and not to drip feed, yes we now own about 70 per cent of the property ourselves. DH parents and SIL own the rest.

Also we spent all our own money on a refurb a few years ago - but this was our choice and we made all the design decisions - still they reap the benefits).

OP posts:
GardenGaff · 11/08/2025 18:32

I’d leave the empty cardboard roll on the loo roll holder, and one teabag - used - on the kitchen side.

moggiek · 11/08/2025 18:32

Definitely do it. Tight buggers!!

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 11/08/2025 18:32

I've read most of the threads, so how about leaving

last few sheets on a loo roll
3 tea bags
1 DW tab
& NOTHING else.

CalzoneOnLegs · 11/08/2025 18:33

Don’t leave anything for the tight wads

ChocolateCinderToffee · 11/08/2025 18:34

Take it back with you. I wouldn't leave it. Mean people annoy the fuck out of me.

MrsLizzieDarcy · 11/08/2025 18:34

If you all contribute financially, then I'd suggest having a kitty for essentials like loo roll, cooking oil, salt/pepper, teabags, dishwasher tablets etc. And have a rule that there has been enough for the new arrivals for 24 hours.

hmmnotreallysure · 11/08/2025 18:34

Would you be better off bringing the majority of the food home with you? If you did stash it and sil found it then it might cause tension. Just pack up all the food and then see if they do a shop and leave any of it there themselves then you can use their stuff next time.