To lock up all our food etc when we leave

[ChangerMonNom]

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

I would be making it look like I had left stuff for them without actually leaving stuff! I hate when people take the piss and other people excuse it.

I would save a loo roll with only a few sheets left to swap out when you leave. (Take one with me from home if necessary)

Save a packet of pasta with only half a portion, two teabags, a dribble of milk. One cheap thing with a bit more in.

You can but you should tell them in advance so they can buy their own

I think it’s necessary that you stash your supplies. You can’t rely on them being where you left them as your SIL never replaces what she uses - not does she contribute.

You’ve already asked nicely - it’s time to hide your stash.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll)

It would piss me off so I'd take everything home with me in a big box apart from one thing of each - eg. one bog roll, salt and pepper shakers, one roll of kitchen roll (or a half used one, whatever), one or two dishwasher tablets, one or two laundry pods, couple of bin bags.
I wouldn't be leaving them any treats or leftover food when they don't even leave toilet roll. It really is shitty not to leave toilet roll!!!

You've spoken to them about it and that hasn't worked so just leave the absolute minimum and take the rest with you. When you go up to the holiday home the next time take everything you will need with you so you don't get left without toilet roll.

I wouldn't leave stuff in the suitcase because they might snoop and be able to get into it. You can just get some kind of storage box to put the non-perishables in which can be stored somewhere at your home and replenished before you go the next time. Perishables can be eaten within a couple of days of your return home.

What happens with cleaning products? Are you the only person buying them?

I'd just have a "kitchen essentials" box or bag that you chuck in the car boot and take back and forth.

Oil, salt, pepper, tea, coffee, loo roll etc. keep the box stocked for your household and don't leave anything there beyond the loo roll that's already in use!! Everything else they can pick up from the shop themselves and stop using up all your supplies and not replacing them. Absolute cheeky fuckers.

If they bring it up just say you've had too many occasions of arriving to nothing when you left plenty so now you'll bring stuff to and fro.

I'd not be hiding things or lying. They've no shame so why tiptoe around?!

SIL isn’t making this con emotional, don’t you start.

Store your stuff for your own reuse, no drama.

I would leave one dishwasher tablet. , one loo roll etc
Then do exactly as you plan

I don’t think it’s particularly petty. They aren’t playing fair are they?

TWO??? bit generous😎

If you really wanted to be petty buy some cheap 2 ply loo roll and leave one or two for them. She did the tea bag’s and coffee see if they use it when it’s there no frills range etc.

To be less obvious I'd just take stuff with you when you travel there and take anything leftover home again. We do this for caravan holidays, usually take a bag for life in the car full of loo roll, cereal, coffee, washing up liquid etc.. and buy things like milk and fruit when we get there. Then take anything leftover back again (not the milk obviously.)

Although if you like the idea of them seeing a locked box and getting annoyed, go with that plan!

I would leave them a few partly used items - half a toilet roll, a quarter of a bottle of hand soap etc.

If they say anything, I would look puzzled and say, "but I thought after last time we were each bringing our own?". And point out that you still left them a few things to tide them over.

“We’ve changed our system so and started keeping a box packed, so we have what we need when we arrive.”

It isn’t about punishing them not really it’s about having a system that works so you have what you need when you arrive.

I wonder if you can still get the old loo roll that was apparently made of greaseproof paper?

I’d be taking everything home with me or locking it away. That’s not petty, that’s saving the annoyance of not having the basics when you arrive.

Buy a large plastic box and mark it cottage. Put all cupboard foods and toiletries in it and take it home with you. This keeps it separate from your daily household bits at home and it's easy just to chuck in th boot when you next go, knowing you don't need to head to the shops.

Leave one toilet roll, hand soap, two dish tabs, a small carton of milk and two teabags. That's more than enough for them to get there, have a quick cuppa, a pee and then head to the shops. I'd probably leave the oil this time as unless it has a great screw cap, it'll be a pain in the arse to take with you.

I'd buy a small sugar dish and salt n pepper shakers to keep at the cottage and just refill them when needed so you can take the rest with you and CF can't say anything about it.

How do you know they aren't taking all the left overs home? I bet they are! The oil running out is suspicious!

Take it all op. Leave it all bare. Get your sons to drink every drop of milk.

3 squares left on a toilet roll and nothing else and see how she feels when shes stuck on the pan in the middle of the night during a shite. 😆 🤣. Best payback ever id think 😃

Izal. I am fairly sure it is not made now. I used to have to buy it for my aunt about 15 years ago. It was really hard to get hold of then and it was so,expensive. Over a pound for one roll 15 years ago.

Locked suitcase or take home ....yanbu here op...I'd also take the toilet paper...you know they treat you the same way

Team Petty here!

I would leave 2 tea bags (one slightly ripped)
but I can be next level petty.

I get why you're saying that, but it defeats the whole object of having your own holiday home.. you should be able to leave things!

I don't know the layout of the place OP, but either allocate them their own cupboard, or under bed storage, or even buy a lockbox for cupboard foods - but either way, lock the part that belongs to you whenever you're not there.

It's so rude for people to use stuff other people have paid for, and then not even bother to replace it.

I have just returned from an airbnb where supplies were the meanest I've ever experienced - no dishwash tabs, no kitchen roll, two teabags, one teatowel, no j-cloths. I had to buy toilet rolls as the one skimpy roll wouldn't have lasted us the three nights and we ended up washing the dishes by hand as I wasn't prepared to buy a box and leave it for them (travelling by train, so no room in the suitcase). Not that there were any shops nearby either. They will be getting a poor review from me and I'll never go back there again. Mean tightwads! I hope their airbnb business fails.

I would lock up loo doll and dishwasher tabs and salt and see how they get on. It’s kind of thoughtless and selfish of them and probably the only way they’ll learn. Also this way you know you will have loo roll next tinn mh d you get there