To lock up all our food etc when we leave

[ChangerMonNom]

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

I believe locking everything up is passive aggressive so I would just leave and take away with me all toiletries, oil, milk etc.. leave the place empty exactly like they do.

I would just make sure that a few key items were almost finished - different items for the next few times you go. Then it's not obvious, and you can review depending on their responses.

Don’t think of it as keeping stuff away from them but instead think of it as keeping stuff for your next visit. So pack everything you need for your next visit and leave anything you’re not bothered about

Think I’d give each family a cupboard each with a padlock. Just brazen it out that each provide their own from now on.

I know how this feels. I have a MIL who once called her daughter to verify which of the Kellogg’s Variety Pack she’d left so we didn’t take “her” Frosties.

We’ve also left cash for the electricity meter and when we asked if they’d seen it, (strategically wrapped in the digital key fob only they know is there) they denied all knowledge. Not even a thank you that was overly generous!

They won’t as much leave a grain of coffee in case anyone uses it. The teabags are taken away and the pepper grinder I bought has since been taken back home (by them) and the one it replaced is back (out of date by 2 years)

People are so bizarre. When we leave they can’t wait to go. Not because they necessarily want or need to, but because they need to check that it’s been left to their liking. To check everything.

I'd take everything back home with me. Why should you have to supply basics for them??.

Take a big bag for life and take the lot home. I stayed in a hotel this weekend, took my cafetière/coffee/fruit/nuts, just packed the whole lot up las5 night and fetched it all home. I like having stuff I want whilst there but I’d be disappointed if someone used it all up in a cottage. The Airbnb was disappointing, literally enough milk for one person for cereal, salt/pepper, that was it. No oil or fresh produce, which was promised.

Leave like 1 dishwasher tab and the last lonely sheet of loo roll clinging to the cardboard. They’re CFs!

It really depends on how you value the harmony and relationship. I’d be very upfront about it that you will be leaving x amount of y products and it must be replaced. Agree what will be left in the house and share the cost of jt. Anything above and beyond that you remove. Whoever finishes something related it like for like. Over time it works out fairly reasonably in our family experience.

these situations it’s very easy for resentment to grow and so setting it out really plainly is the only way to go. Definitely store stuff for yourself in a locker, but there should be basics that people can expect on arrival to prevent the crap of arriving and being scuppered.

we had a familiy shared holiday home, and the basic rule is that you leave enough for the new arrivals for 24/48 hours.
It is considered really bad behaviour to leave them with no loo roll, tea bags or milk.
Apart from that, if you leaft loads behind it was always fair game.

The issue for me is not about letting her have what we have left, it is about her not leaving you loo roll and tea bags when you are next. that is really shitty behaviour.
So I would be putting enough in the suitcase so that when I arrive I know that I have dishwasher tabs, tea bags, loo roll, oil etc. Totally for my convenience, not to annoy SIL.
I would also take any larger amounts of left overs home.

Absolutely do it OP! His dsis is a selfish cow and it might teach her a lesson!

In addition to only leaving three teabags, look at the back of your cupboard for some really weird decoy food you can leave behind for show. Can of royal game soup, some turnip chutney and a bottle of flaming hot sauce? The weirder the better!

Wrap the oil in something and pop a plastic bag around it so that it if it spills it doesn't ruin your case

Agree, leave the bare minimum of the cheaper items and take the rest

leave
1 x toilet roll
salt
some milk
A few tea bags

Don’t leave dishwasher tablets, coffee, oil, any food

They will get it eventually

You could go 'scorched earth' and release a load of weevils into all the grain containers and cereal boxes. I'm just not sure where you'd find the weevils...

I would absolutely do this!

Do it. And no need to get them perishables / treats- they’re thoughtless to you.

Absolutely agree with bare minimum and stowe the rest away.

If you usually have half a loo roll in your bedroom to blot with, make sure that you only have a few sheets on their as well.

3 teabags
2 dishwasher tablets
Salt and pepper
1/4 loo roll
1/8 bottle of shampoo if you usually leave toiletries
And then, just for fun, a massive, exciting looking tin of Quality Street in the cupboard, but full of either:
Empty wrappers and 1 x strawberry cream
Fat balls to feed the birds.

How does she not give her husband the ick with her stinginess?! Ewww. Don’t leave her anything , OP. And if you husband isn’t happy remind him that you don’t have money to burn
@ChangerMonNom

I would put it all in a box in the boot of your car and take it home although that is a pain in the arse. You can bet they would find it even if hidden and it would cause a row - probably between you and your DH. But maybe you only need to leave them with nothing once and they will get the message.

I would also have a bit of fun and leave lots of useless stuff.

I would hide or bring back with you everything tbh. Be petty!

I would leave just the one teabag for two people - nothing more infuriating 😅

Do it! 😇🤣😈 … give the CFs what they deserve!

I love this! Though I’d reduce the loo roll to just a few sheets 😅

This is what I would do. Enough not to be blatantly obvious, few enough to inconvenience them.

id also take the stuff with you. That way It looks as if you’ve just naturally run low on stuff and they’ll be pissed off but can’t really be pissed off with you.