To lock up all our food etc when we leave

[ChangerMonNom]

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

I’d do this

On reflection, OP, I'd leave one teabag and one spoon of coffee, no sugar, one toilet roll and enough washing up liquid for one plate (or one dishwasher tablet). Just so, you know, they have to go to the shop 😂

You might notice they will buy their own stuff and take it back home - in which case this will set a precedent and you can simply do the same. Nobody will be funding each other.

Everyone saying 'petty' - it's not petty! The cost of these items really adds up especially if buying rom scratch every time (whole boxes of dishwasher tablets, six packs of loo roll, new packet of coffee etc etc). Twice in a holiday, if I've understood correctly - to stock the cupboards on arrival, and again the fresh items when you leave!

Not to mention the time and effort it takes to lug these things from the shops.

Definitely pack them away when you leave, OP, and don't mention it to them! Please come back and tell us what happens.

I'd leave loads of generously sized but completely boring and useless ( for a short holiday) stuff like a sack of flour (but absolutely no other baking goods) in the kitchen, some ant spray, a tin of semolina and a bar of coal tar soap. Leave plenty of empty boxes though - tin foil, gravy, crackers, coffee, but with nothing in. No TOILET ROLL, TEA BAGS OR MILK!

I would leave 1 in the caddy just to piss them off even more.🤣🤣🤣

Yep, exactly what I said, you're my kind of person 😂

Take it home with you.

Two bags is a perfect amount to leave. You haven’t been arseholes, but they get a nice pot of tea and know that they need to fend for themselves after it.

I agree with odd numbers. And if one were to have a tiny hole in it… who’s to know?

I’d not lock it away, as that would be seen as being unreasonable. But I would pack it all up and take it with me. Maybe have a box of sundries you take with you and take home each trip. I’d also make sure that you leave about 5 sheets of loo roll and no spares

Loving the idea of leaving just enough to not look like you cleared the place, but not enough to stop them having to go shopping to replace everything within a couple of days. 😂You can bet they will take home or lock away all their remaining supplies though. They'll be miffed at having to spend their own money and there's no way they'll be sharing their stuff.

This. Leave tiny amounts, so it doesn't seem that you've spitefully taken everything home with you, but that you just HAPPENED to have nearly used up various things.

And as bumbaloo says, "If they complain just say you didn’t have time. If they keep complaining just look at them like they are nuts and say apart from you no one buys for the next guest anyway so seeing how ungrateful sil is being on the one time you didn’t have time, you won’t bother in future"

What I would do is leave the bare minimum but I'd take it all home, along with the measurements of a couple of cupboards that are empty in the kitchen where I could come back with boxes that can then slotted into cupboards and then be locked up (in the garage or wherever) on the basis of being organised in future and knowing where you are at.

😂

I'd just say, we've mentioned a few times that weve not been left the basics needed (e.g. toilet roll, cooking oil). We are going solve this by leaving a store of our basics so they are there for us the next time we arrive. You might want to therefore ensure you bring the essentials which you need for your stay.

Pointless OP, on both fronts - the low quantity of items and the totally guessable lock code.

GO BIG or don't bother.

One ripped teabag…?

Absolutely do it OP. Just let them know they'll have to restock the essentials. I bet you what you like, they'll be nothing left for you on your next visit ..... and you won't get told to restock. They'll be quietly seething and think you're the CF's.
Lol.

Even an Airbnb you would expect basics like salt and pepper washing up liquid hand wash etc and some kitchen surface cleaner. if there's a dishwasher a few tablets. One Airbnb we stayed in there was a huge jar of sweets. There was a note written on it saying you are welcome to have some but please replace what you take.

Oooo! Do let us know how it goes!

You've given them due warning, and youve had enough. I say do it!

It’s sensible suggestion but unfortunately it relies on all parties to the agreement being fair, reasonable and adhering to the rules.

One thing you can guarantee is that CF’s don’t do “fair”.

So all you’ll end up with is rules everyone else abides by and they flout giving ridiculous “reasons” as justification (“oh we just ran out of time to restock - you don’t mind do you? With a tinkling laugh ) but getting pissy when the rules are not applied by someone else.

In short you end up in a worse place than where you started because you given them ammo against you (“you made the rules after all”) whilst having no way to enforce them without creating the upset you were presumably trying to avoid to start with.

The only solutions are expect nothing and give nothing in return or just suck it up and resign yourself to knowing you’re being a mug.

I would remove the majority and leave small amounts of the basics - a couple of teabags in a caddy, a single sheet of loo roll, etc

Will you be the next ones in after SIL’s visit?

Please please put 4 teabags in there. Rip a tiny tear in the third one so one of them is getting pissed.
Leave one toilet roll.
And good idea from pp to leave useless items like a bag of cheap flour, rice with no spices etc. make it look like lots of stuff but useless stuff.

Ooh the pettiness I could stretch to for this, the cheeky twats, sooooo.
We like branded stuff presumably you do too, however the branded stuff would be coming home with me, enter asda yellow label tea bags, bog rolls you can put your finger through, and cheapo washing tabs etc.
No Yorkshire tea bags for you SIL, and Andrex is not an option, a few finger breaches with the bog roll, might make them think twice, plus piss weak tea 😂
Would make me laugh thinking about it. Those yellow label tea bags are fucking grim, and the bog paper is one ply at best😂