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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To lock up all our food etc when we leave

879 replies

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:05

We share a holiday cottage with DH family (his parents, older sister and partner) and use it at different times. For clarity- everyone contributes financially but DH and I the most as we are a family of four and earn more also.

In the summer holidays, we tend to go up the first few weeks of august, then head home. At this point, SIL and partner will come and use it. They probably use it more than us in total as they have no kids so can go during term time also, and can WFH so tend to have lots of mini breaks throughout the year.

When we leave, we make sure place is spotless and leave fresh milk (if SIL due to arrive), eggs, coffee, occasionally some treats and always whatever is left of all purchases (cooking oil, laundry powder, condiments, kitchen roll, plentiful loo roll).

On the flip side, SIL and partner will use all our stuff up and not replace it, meaning we often arrive late evening and find we are missing eg oil to cook dinner or even toilet roll.

We have mentioned this politely a few times but got no meaningful response (other than to say ‘it’s just the two of us, we hardly use anything’) This 100 per cent won’t be just thoughtlessness on their part - SIL is notoriously tight.

Anyway- we are due to pack up Sunday and I am considering putting all store cupboard items in a combination lockable suitcase and keeping them stashed away until our return. They will no doubt notice this as they take for granted things like salt and dishwasher tabs being available.

DH told me not to he so petty and ‘go high’, but honestly I’m fed up of SIL and her partner’s behaviour and this might be the only way to make them see what they are doing (although to he perfectly honest, I will slightly enjoy pissing them off).

So who’s right MN?

OP posts:
PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 11/08/2025 18:08

You! Why should you fund them sundries when they won't even have the grace to tell you when they use all your stuff!

Littleredgoat · 11/08/2025 18:09

Well it's his sister so he knows if this is likely to cause an absolute row. For the sake of a few sundries he might not think it's worth up ending the agreement over.

If the holiday cottage causes too much family drama the call may be made to get rid of it.

SunsetCocktails · 11/08/2025 18:09

Hmmmm ….. that’s a level of pettiness I think I can get behind 😆

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

Hercisback1 · 11/08/2025 18:10

Do it. After so many instances of them using the stuff, I'd get petty. They had the chance when you mentioned it, and brushed you off.

Is there anywhere you can hide the suitcase so it's not obvious what you've done?

REDB99 · 11/08/2025 18:10

I vote for the pettiness. Their type of behaviour is infuriating!

Shedmistress · 11/08/2025 18:10

I'd put it in a suitcase, and take suitcase home.

OtterlyMad · 11/08/2025 18:11

YANBU. They would have to be very bold to complain, but if they do, you can say “it’s just the two of you, you hardly need anything”. 🙃

mondaytosunday · 11/08/2025 18:11

I’d think leaving the bare minimum would be fine. Locking up what’s already there does seem petty, but if they repeatedly take advantage then do it!

Sally2791 · 11/08/2025 18:12

I would leave the bare minimum. If they comment explain why!

Masonjarcandle · 11/08/2025 18:12

I would leave them one or two of each thing, loo roll, dishwasher tabs etc, much like you would expect when renting a holiday home. Things like salt and pepper I'd leave in the cupboards but lock up pasta, rice etc.

Izzy24 · 11/08/2025 18:12

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

Yes this. Means they can’t all your stuff and also can’t complain that there was nothing left.

wimonnzy · 11/08/2025 18:13

I could play games with this. One dishwasher tab, one washing gel tab, a bit of salt n pepper, the end of a bag of pasta and a few sheets on a toilet roll, use your imagination. Just enough to keep them from saying you were MEAN, when in fact it is they that are tight.

Have fun!

ItWasntMyFault · 11/08/2025 18:13

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

I would do this and leave a small amount but pack away the rest.

beadystar · 11/08/2025 18:13

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2025 18:10

I would leave a little bit of supplies, eg one toilet roll, a dishwasher tab, a few tea bags or instant coffee, but put away the rest.

I too would do this. Petty but needed. Have they no manners!

Whichone2024 · 11/08/2025 18:13

Izzy24 · 11/08/2025 18:12

Yes this. Means they can’t all your stuff and also can’t complain that there was nothing left.

Yes this, and then they would have no choice but to buy some supplies when they run out

tinyspiny · 11/08/2025 18:13

I think I’d leave the bare minimum so decant things like loo rolls , kitchen towel , dishwasher tablets so you leave 1 in the box / pack or just what is in the bathrooms .

Allswellthatendswelll · 11/08/2025 18:14

Just don't leave stuff (or leave a little bit) and put all the surplus in a bag you can then bring the next time you go.

I wouldn't lock stuff up it's asking for a row!

chattyness · 11/08/2025 18:14

Do it !

Hankunamatata · 11/08/2025 18:14

I would.

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 11/08/2025 18:15

wimonnzy · 11/08/2025 18:13

I could play games with this. One dishwasher tab, one washing gel tab, a bit of salt n pepper, the end of a bag of pasta and a few sheets on a toilet roll, use your imagination. Just enough to keep them from saying you were MEAN, when in fact it is they that are tight.

Have fun!

Me too. Id definitely go down this road.

Ponderingwindow · 11/08/2025 18:16

It’s not the money that would bother me, it’s the arriving to no supplies when I left the place stocked. That would drive me crazy.

Lock it up.

AcquadiP · 11/08/2025 18:16

wimonnzy · 11/08/2025 18:13

I could play games with this. One dishwasher tab, one washing gel tab, a bit of salt n pepper, the end of a bag of pasta and a few sheets on a toilet roll, use your imagination. Just enough to keep them from saying you were MEAN, when in fact it is they that are tight.

Have fun!

😂

ChangerMonNom · 11/08/2025 18:16

They won't know there is stuff in the suitcase I shouldn't think, as we keep some items including a case at the house already) in the cupboard under stairs. They'd have to really be looking...on second thoughts...

OP posts:
Elboob · 11/08/2025 18:16

Lock it! Do it.
Fgs.... Leaving you with no loo roll would leave me incandescent with rage. Lazy tight feckers!!
We have a shared holiday home and we have a shared cupboard for coffee, tea, oil, salt, stock cubes etc etc and then our own shelf each. No-one touches ANYTHING on the other shelves except if it's an emergency. Then we either replace it or TELL THEM and offer to pay. It works as we all replace what we finish off and know it works out in the end.
I bloody hate take take take people. You locking everything away will show them what they do use.
If you cant actually bear to do the whole thing then at least lock up or take all the fresh stuff, all the coffee and only leave the end of a loo roll.