Am I exaggerating?

[iamstillfuming]

Can you please tell me whether I am exaggerating and taken things too far in this situation, because I have been told by certain people that I must let it go.

My 10 year old son went out with my cousins boyfriend yesterday, he usually comes for him and takes him out for the day.

I got a phone call from the police to tell me that they had my son, and they were going to bring him home to me. I called my cousins boyfriend straight away, my instant thought was maybe something had happened to him, because why did I just receive a phone call from the police telling me that they had my child.

He didn't pick up, when the police arrived with my son they couldn't give me much detail on what had happened except they were called to a disturbance in a house and my son was found by them hiding in a wardrobe, he only spoken to them to give them my number.

My son isn't used to loud noise (he is very sensitive to noise) neither is he ever been exposed to any violence etc.

I asked my son what had happened, he told me that my cousins boyfriend had taken him to a house, people started shouting, arguing and fighting he got scared and hid in wardrobe, he thought that my cousins boyfriend would come and get him but he didn't and the police lady come and got him out.

I called my cousin once the police had left, she said that she'd try and get him on the phone then she'd call me back. I was told by her that something had gone on forgot about my child but he sent someone back to go and look for him.

All my cousin was concerned about is whether or not my son had said anything to the police i.e given them his name, then I got a phone call from him saying he is sorry about what happened and that he will come and take my son to go get a bike tomorrow, I hung up and called my cousin

I was very disrespectful to the both of then (with my words) I have had an argument with my cousin and then I called him and did the same to him.

My son is my only child, we have tried for years to conceive again but it just won't happen so we have accepted it. I can not even tell my husband about that has happened because I don't know what he will do to my cousins boyfriend.

I have had a few phone calls from family members and close friends, saying that I have taken things too far and that my cousin and I are too close for this to ruin our relationship.

I am also worried that social services might get involved, I have worked close with social services and they could put this down to neglect.

My son seems ok now, but I feel like I failed him yesterday, like I said above he is not used to things like this.

Sorry for my bad grammar or any mistakes, I didn't proof read before pressing send.

Really? We are past caring.

I wanted his account of what happened!

Why do you give a shit ? Your son was put at risk and if they don’t care about that tell them where they can go. This is batshit.

This is batshit OP. Go to the police and tell them everything you know. Anything else is letting your son down so badly I don’t know where to start with it. And if the boyfriend says he was in fear of his life, then that’s all you need to know to realise that your son was also in the same amount of danger. If you tolerate this and do nothing then you’ve proved yourself to be the terrible parent most of us here think you are.

So why did you leave before you had his account ? After all, you're not scared of him except when you are. Just like your husband isn't violent, except he would fight cousin's boyfriend if you told him what you know, or don't know.
You really are losing credibility by the bucket load now.

That wasn’t really what I wanted you to take from that post, but whatever.

Of course you've lied. You've gone from saying that you have no idea how your cousin's boyfriend makes his money to admitting that he is involved in criminal activity. And that is just one example. Seriously, if anything at all you've said here is true, it's extremely worrying that a child is growing up in this environment.

He was telling me to get out, he said if I don’t leave he’ll put me out!

It’s all attention seeking rubbish from someone that posts her life across FB.

Oh come on. You won’t ask your son what he’s been doing with your cousins boyfriend because you know you won’t like the answer.
He’s been exposed to criminal activity. He’s been put at risk. The police had to be called.
Stop focussing on your cousin now and talk to your son. Properly.

So did you tell your husband about today’s interaction?

never ever once left my son in sole care of him, and this is not about wanting someone to look after my son.

Who else was there OP? You've said it was your cousin's boyfriend with your child.

Look, you've had a shock and found out some home truths. Hopefully your son is too young to have figured out what was really going on.

😂

He used to go to my cousins house

She’d be there along with the three girls, her boyfriend wasn’t always present.

There has never been any kinds of plans or arrangements where her boyfriend would take care of him alone.

There were plenty of times when I’d call to check on him and she’d say his fine he has gone out with her boyfriend. I didn’t think anything of it because the trust was there.

No

From the OP: My 10 year old son went out with my cousins boyfriend yesterday, he usually comes for him and takes him out for the day.

From the most recent post: There has never been any kinds of plans or arrangements where her boyfriend would take care of him alone.

You can't keep your story straight. 🙄 This thread reminds me of several recent threads which seem designed to provoke maximum outrage. Why do people do this, one wonders.

"I am not telling my husband about it, like I said my husband will beat him up no questions asked." 😂

Your cast of characters are really not fond of information are they @iamstillfuming?

That's a nice touch.

At best @iamstillfuming, you are being very naive.

You’re willingly letting your child hang out with someone involved in criminal activity.

If you don’t think that’s problematic then it’s probably wise that SS does get I touch with you and support you in your decision making in terms of what is appropriate for a ten year old.

Wishing you all the best, it must have been a horrible experience for him and for you to find out about. At least you know now that this man will drop your child to save his own skin. He’s not a good man and I’m glad you’ve made the decision not to have contact with him again.

Ok

It is not a story, I’m just feeling very guilty that I trusted someone who went ahead and could have put my son in serious danger, then go on to be rude and disrespectful. You will never understand how bad I feel 😔

You seem more concerned about ' rude ' and ' disrespect ', than you are about what actually happened to your 10 year old child that day.

All this respect / disrespect - is it a cultural thing ?

I know but didn’t you find it weird the boyfriend was taking him out in the first place, just your son - alone, without his own kids?

Youve also said previously you knew he took him out, took him to peoples houses etc yet now your saying this was never an arrangement.

You said earlier too he doesn’t speak much to you.

I can’t keep up with this story.

Yes, which is it? Your story keeps changing.....

My cousin and I used to be VERY close, and I thought that her boyfriend was ok up until this week, I have never ever seen him like this before, he usually doesn’t really say much but we do have conversations, there was never any reason NOT to trust him with my child.

This is the part that stands out to me above all others..

Someone not giving you a reason not to trust them, does NOT mean they are trustworthy.. it just means that you don't know that person well enough to have seen this other side to him, having a "few conversations" with a person, does not qualify them as being trustworthy to take care of your child. I can't believe you have allowed your son to be at put at risk so many times with this idiot, just to get some free childcare, he was 'at risk for his life' and he just ran off and left him there to save his own skin.

I feel sorry for his daughters, athough it doesn't sound like he puts them at risk as he doesn't take them with him while running these errands, the fact that he takes your child out of the house/family you are trusting to look after him to purposely expose him to that lifestyle and you have been okay with it up to this point is astounding.

If this is true and I sincerely doubt it is, I hope SS get involved. The fact you care about someone being rude to you over your little boy being left in a cupboard in a house where god knows what was happening is an outrage. I just don't believe it though the cops wouldn't have gone through that house done a search with no warrant and found a child, brought him home without asking a lot of questions. This is just made up rubbish OP go touch some grass.