To not help my friend- passport fraud

[Ravenblue]

My friend and me are quite close. Two years ago she wanted a new baby and found a sperm donor on a website. This bloke got her pregnant but then he wanted access. She didn't want him to but the courts gave him access and now he has the kid a couple of times a month. My friend is now married and she changed her kids name to her new husbands name. The father has found out and is now going back to the courts. She also got a passport in the new name and the father nows this. The father is now going to the police as he says its passport fraud. I dont believe him as she has the right to change her childs name but it says not in the court order. Its like she cant do anything without his permission. Its not fair on her.
She wants my help in trying to get her out of this but I dont know how and also I don't think shes in the wrong.

AIBU?

Im worried now that she's put my name down and faked a signature.

For what?

If it's a passport application, all the OP needs to do is say she didn't sign it.

The passport form?

If you really want to help your friend, tell her you'll pay for an hour's legal advice, and make sure you choose a reputable solicitor who specialises in family law and child care law, preferably also with access to someone with expertise in criminal law. The best favour you can do her is to get someone to spell out to her what her legal position is.

Why do you think it's your details that have been used?

She would need all of your passport details-passport number, expiry date, email address etc, how would she get all that?

If you think she has used your details, contact the passport office.

Your posts have really changed, @Ravenblue

Your first post, you say how unfair this is on your friend and how you want to help her, saying that The father is now going to the police as he says its passport fraud. I dont believe him as she has the right to change her childs name

But now you are worried your close friend has used your own details to commit a crime?

Sounds like the court gave the father parental rights. I’m familiar with similar websites and most of the men on there actually want a relationship with the child so your friend may have acted dishonestly in order to get sperm without the price tag (obviously just conjecture, I don’t know her!)

That being the case she is going to have to start to work with and build a positive relationship with this man for the sake of her child and that will mean accepting that she can’t make every decision herself and expect him to go along with it.

If this contains any element of reality then I feel incredibly sorry for the child.

Your 'friend' is absolutely bat shit.

For the passport. She asked me to sign it and I said no but given her level of dishonesty I'm concerned that she might have.

At the end of the day, you didn't sign it and she can't prove you did.

I'd check back on any messages on the topic, just in case.

So when they check it, you tell the Passport people that you didn't sign it.

ETA: Of course, if you did sign it because you believed the stuff you said earlier in the thread and are now bricking it, you'd still need to be honest about signing it - tell them you did but now you've found out that the information you were given by the mother was untrue. But if you're telling the truth and you didn't sign, there's no problem for you.

Clearly she didn't go the proper route when getting a sperm donor and just had a kid with someone. Now he has the same rights any parent would. If she wanted nothing more than a sperm donor she should have done it the right way. This prob won't end for her and it's her fault.

Did you change name to new husbands name, if so new husband needs to adopt baby with fathers consent, but father then loses all rights to child, has friend gone down this road were new husband could adopt child but with fathers consent only

This is not your problem and you can't do anything to help, anyway.

I'm guessing by sperm donor, she means that she slept with someone to get pregnant. Not that she actually went through a clinic. Whereby, the dad then indeed does have rights??

the biological Dad is now gaining,everytime the BM wants to take her kids away.she has to get his permission in writting.Dad has every right to be fuming,she would have needed the Dads consent via signature or letter.its fraud,checks should have been made at Home office.A phonecall to all parties that have parental responsibilty.personally i feel for the Dad,after hearing his got someone pregnant he doubted just being a sperm doner he stepped up went through the correct channels i.e court and become a father. he has regular contact with the child court ordered. he has a right in these things,it takes two to tango 50/50. both gotta suck it up and make it work for the little one .

Your friend didn't go through proper channels to become pregnant by a sperm donor. She signed up to a random web site/Facebook page, and had sex with a stranger. She became pregnant, and thought this man would stand by the original agreement of him not getting involved with the baby. It has massively backfired, because he's now on the birth certificate and has Court ordered access. Your friend can't change the baby's surname, without the Dad's permission. He has parental responsibility, and has the same rights as your friend. Your friend shares the baby with this man, he has a say in every aspect of the baby's life. Your friend is stuck in this situation until the baby is 18. As for the passport, unless you work in a profession eg. Doctor, nurse, accountant etc, you can't countersign a passport. I'm not sure what your friend is expecting from you??!!! You can't wave a magic wand, and make the situation go away!! Your friend made a huge mistake, by not going through proper, regulated channels for sperm donor. She's now paying the price for her stupidity. All she can do is accept the situation, and co-parent the best she can.

Don't get involved, she's got herself in this mess and even though you agree with what she's done. It is illegal, he's got PR, she cannot change the child's name without his permission legally and most people are aware of this. She must of lied on a form somewhere to change his name, or the passport or most likely both. I'd advise her to seek legal advice for both criminal and family matters and to give her head a wobble and look up what she can and can't do without his permission.

Well yes, she clarified all of that yesterday after my comment was new.

she wanted a "new baby" like a new handbag? what does that even mean?

of course she cant do these things without the child's father's permission..whether she's married or not

For the passport. She asked me to sign it and I said no but given her level of dishonesty I'm concerned that she might have.

But she wouldn't have your passport number, would she so she couldn't do this?

Or have you counter-signed her passport (as your OP is very clear how unfair you think she is being treated) and now you're panicking that you'll get caught and prosecuted?

Okay.
Is this actually real?
If the mother and father weren't married then he would have had to have gone to the registry office with her to register the baby in order for the baby to be registered in his name in the UK. Why did she take him to the registry office if she didn't want him involved unless to get child support.
If he was just a sperms donor why did he register the baby with her? So that bit doesnt hold up.
So know she has illegally changed the name by deed poll to her married name? Without his permission? Believe me if you could just do it legally I would have done it. So she has forged paperwork.
This is serious fraudulent crap. She's lying to him to HM government but most of all she's lied to you and you should walk away before you are implicated.

If she doesn't have your passport number, she can't do that. Counter-signatories for a passport must have one of their own. The details won't match up and the passport office will reject it. If they do contact you by any chance, tell the truth.