To feel inconvenienced by a tragic accident?

[OnemargarIta]

I'm currently in Italy (staying in Rome) for three nights. It's my first foreign break in a warm country and I've been so excited and saved up especially.

We booked an excursion for today consisting of a trip to Sorrento where we'd spend time exploring, visiting shops and enjoying local food - and then on to Pompeii on the route back.

We've spent the whole morning/day so far stuck in traffic on the motor way. We are so behind schedule we can now no longer go to Sorrento first because Pompeii closes at 5.30 and there won't be time. A sit down restaurant meal will now be replaced by a takeaway which will be eaten on the coach.

We've just been told the cause of the traffic jam and it's because somebody has died in a collision on the motorway.

Instead of feeling saddened about the loss of life I just feel inconvenienced and pissed off that the highlight of my trip has been ruined.

Does this make me a shitty person? It just occurred that it might 😳

I'm not fragile at all, thankyou, it was her attitude that was triggering rather than the situation.
And why haven't you questioned why she changed her username for this thread?
Why aren't you questioning her attitude to other people?
She's been taking the piss from her first post.

And it really isn't that damning.

Some of the replies are hilariously smug. The ones that imply Pompeii itself is some sort of lure for the ghoulish (two different posters there) were particularly risible.

She makes clear she's not referring to bereaved posters when she talks about being amused.

She refers to how thoroughly nasty people can be on MN, which is simply factual.

The end is a bit off-hand, but since this post isn't likely to be seen by anyone close to the accident in question (although that is more likely now that one poster helpfully linked to a report about the accident in an attempt to guilt-trip the op), it's neither here nor there.

Sorry, not seeing this dreadfulness on the part of the op. And, yes, I do see a lot of smug self-righteousness and shaming.

Dear God.

Why would I? Maybe she didn’t want to be outing - she’s in a particular country doing a particular thing and it hasn’t gone to plan so it’d be easy for anyone close to her to identify her.
I have a couple of different usernames. One I only use for stuff that’s a bit more outing because I had an incident with an abusive ex who found some previous posts of mine. It doesn’t automatically mean someone is on the wind up.
Im not questioning her attitude to people because they’ve been bloody awful to her and I think she has been defending herself. The difference here though is OP isn’t holding herself up at some sort f paragon of morality so at least she isn’t being a hypocrite.

Eh? People name change all the time. Some people name change every month.

And she has explained she name changed to avoid weirdos following her on to other threads, which is perfectly valid given the vitriol on this thread.

Does anyone have a clue what OP was hoping to get from this thread or the point of it?

OP, are you with a partner or friend you could have discussed with? Or would they have thought it was an odd thing to say?

Someone just now, has called op a tosser? sorry if l’ve got other things to do and l’m not sitting on this thread 24/7.And actually you are choosing to ignore, op, has put down many posters on here and name called.If you’re going to dish it out, which she has, it’s hardly shocking, posters are going to give it back
Firstly why is she telling posters that she has ADHD and autism, that doesn’t change anything.She’s quite competent and able to start, no doubt one of many threads, by her own admission regularly changing her username and hold her own.
I could say anything on here, to try justify my behaviour, it doesn’t make it true🙄

The top and bottom of it is, this thread didn't need to be started in the first place.
Would you start a thread of this nature?
I know I wouldn't.
Some things are best kept to yourself.

You could say that about the majority of threads on here. None of them need to be started. And seeing as it’s not down to you what others decide to post about I don’t think it’s fair for you to say that.

It’s not for you to decide what people can discuss.

You don’t like it, you opt out.

Fair enough but I won't change my opinion on this one.

This. I’ve just gone back and reread all of OP’s posts and honestly, there have been far far worse from the other side.

I see this a lot on here - people disagree with the content of a thread and because they don’t like it, they believe it should be taken down. I find it very self important. That anyone should think entire threads should be deleted because they personally don’t like them.

There are plenty of topics I find upsetting, I just don’t engage with them.

I didnt find it upsetting just weird.

Talking of self importance. Why did OP think anyone wanted to know how she felt about the accident and victim?

I find it odd that you think it's such a taboo.

The whole reason I was initially interested in the thread was it made me wonder what other people did think - I've never really questioned my own reaction (which is to understand the situation is sad, but not to actually experience sadness personally) and I wondered how it stacked up.

I'd think the op was callous if she made the comment to someone actually caught up in a situation, but I really don't see why it's verboten on an anonymous forum.

No they don’t name change all the time, why would they need to, it’s a anonymous forum🙄I don’t and there are many others that don’t, because they have nothing to hide, their username doesn’t just disappear overnight.So when she starts another thread, there’s no history of what she’s said before and the posters who don’t name change are easily identifiable what’s fair about that.She’s already said she recognises many of the usernames on here.
It’s different if someone has a personal issue, but this thread is not personal to op, is it.
Yes, op, calling people weirdo’s and you agreeing with it, but of course that’s ok, that’s not nasty at all is it🙄

Why does anyone who posts on here think that anyone else wants to know anything about them or what they think?
And clearly, plenty of people did want to know looking at the amount of replies she got.

There is nothing wrong with name changing. You’re allowed to do it yourself if you want to. I’ve explained upthread why she may have done it - possibly for the same reasons I have. She’s easily identifiable to people she knows simply by saying she is on holiday in a certain place, going to do a certain thing and was caught up in this accident - which is something she will probably tell people irl about.

I think you’re really clutching at straws here.

Hmm, you find it very self important, what a surprise, is it because some of your comments have been taken down and you’re agreeing with comments that are breaking MN guidelines.None of of my comments have been taken down, for a reason because l haven’t broke MN guidelines.Surely you understand if you come onto this forum some comments will be taken down, whether you agree or not, they are deemed as unacceptable.

I didn’t even know any of my comments had been taken down

And as I said before, that’s not really the gotcha you think it is as MN is notoriously trigger happy when it comes to deleting reported posts. Someone had theirs deleted because they accused me of having no emotional intelligence and I didn’t even report it! I didn’t actually think it felt like a personal attack tbh.

But some are advocating for the whole thread to be deleted just because they don’t like it. And we are saying just don’t read it if you don’t like it?!

l don’t need you to explain, to be patronised yet again by you.Couldn’t care less what you think, how many times have you used ‘clutching at straws’ to other posters of here🙄you are not going to change my view, with your bullish stance.

Ok… cool?

Yeah, that was to me when I said my 29 year old BIL was killed weeks after his wife had a baby.
How nice of you.

Because of the context you used it in. You were trying to justify all the vile attacks on the OP by using a loved one’s death as emotional blackmail. I found it jarring.