To think of they want to bath together then it’s not a problem?

[LondonLady1980]

I have two boys; the eldest is 11.5 years old and the youngest has just turned 8.

They adore each other and are pretty much inseparable which also includes bath time.

I have never had a problem with them bathing together as that’s what they choose to do, but some of my friends who have children of a similar age have started making comments that it isn’t appropriate.

They have expressed concern for my eldest son and say that at “his age” (puberty implications I imagine) he shouldn’t have to share a bath.

But I’m not making them share….they want to share. I give them to option to bathe alone if that’s what they’d prefer, but they don’t want to.

When I explain this to my friends I just get eye rolls in my direction.

What do other parents do in this situation?

Should I be enforcing separate baths?

Are you seriously comparing exposing your daughter to strange men's naked bodies in a male changing room to two brothers sharing a bath in their home?

What???

Siblings can’t even hug each other and give each other a kiss now without it being “weird”?!

Or are you saying this because I have boys?

Would you still think it inappropriate if an older sister gave her younger sister a hug or a kiss?

Or is displaying affection in public that you have a problem with? You think hugging/kissing between siblings should be kept behind closed doors?

Or do you just not think it’s “normal” for siblings to be close and loving towards each other?

What sibling ages are acceptable in order for hugging or kissing each other not be to be classed as “weird”?

So you're taking advice/criticism from someone who has difficulty getting her son to shower?

You crack on op, you're doing fine!

Because like i explained earlier rates of incest are high and the majority of abuse happens in your own home so I would be concerned why an 11 year old repeatedly wants to be alone and naked with a younger sibling

This thread is weird OP not your lovely boys. They were called playing baths in our house and went on for years. Mine cuddle and hug and still hang out now they are older. Not in the bath but they might if they fitted.

I think your older son will naturally start to want to bathe on his own when he’s at secondary school and puberty hits. It’s nice they’re close though.

I have a friend who has four daughters, youngest when 14 thought it was appropriate to walk into toilet without knocking when her 21/25 year old sisters or mum were in there changing tampons. I mean I’d have been having words with her about letting people have privacy, but their family seemed to think that is normal.

Its irrelevant whether its brothers or sisters kids dont usually kiss each other at school. At breaks and dinner time do they meet up for a kiss an a cuddle or walk around holding hands. Its weird

Exactly this. My oldest naturally sought more privacy around this age. The 9yo still runs round the house naked, and good for him! DH and I also don’t mind the boys seeing us naked.

It’s fine. They’re hardly going to be in their 40s and sharing a bath. They’ll stop when they want to.

Exactly. In the UK, it’s not even usual to share baths beyond a certain age, so bathing together is clearly not where the problem lies.

Bless them. Don’t ruin this perfectly innocent habit for them op. They’ll grow out of it at some point.

I was laughing at this - mine is nearly thirty and wears Pokémon pants, socks and jimjams 😂 he thinks they’re tasteful

Don’t be ridiculous. You are turning an innocent event into something prurient.

Because they just to play different kinds of games in the bath than they do when they’re in the living room in the garden.

For example they have all this little characters from a programme they watch, that they like to throw into the bath which then sink to the bottom. They then each put their goggles on and put their head under the water and the first one to find a certain character wins 🤣

They obviously also love having “who can hold their breath underwater the longest” competitions.

They also have battery powered Robo-Fish which they have in the bath with them and they each race their fishes from one end of the bath to the other to see whose fish will win.

They also have all the bath crayons and they spend ages using them to play hangman on the bathroom tiles or play various other word games. For example one of them will write a word on the bottom of the bath and the other one has to go under the bubbles with his goggles on and try and find the word and then say what it is.

They also enjoy seeing who can make the create the biggest bubble beard on their face 🤣

They come up with all sort of water based games that they enjoy playing when they’re the bath.

Oh for gods sake MN is so uptight sometimes. How bloody rude to call the OP’s 11 year old immature because he likes playing with funny hairstyles with his brother! Of course he’s immature he’s ELEVEN YEARS OLD.

YANBU op my two (also boys) age 10 and 7 also share baths sometimes although it’s getting less common as they get older. It’s entirely their choice, they are not forced to do so. My 10 year old has perfectly acceptable boundaries around his body in public and getting changed etc but at home he is still naked around us sometimes.

Not so long ago I posted that I was concerned that my two were forced to share a bed at their dad’s place and apparently I was causing trouble and being controlling.

Explain to me how an 11 year old and an 8 year old can fit in a standard bath tub and wash themselves properly without touching

completely agree! Can’t believe this is such an issue for people. I can’t get the buggers out of the bathroom to let me shower in peace (I locked the door this morning, don’t normally bother but fancies a quiet shower, and my toddler unlocked it from the outside then came wandering in 🤦🏻‍♀️). My toddler and 8 year old bath together - mostly just to get the toddler to go in at all 😄 they have a great time making a big mess.

My 8 year old did tell my toddler not to touch the baby’s “vagina” earlier when he touched her nappy 😆 so he does seem to have the memo about boundaries! Ha.

Same! Mine especially youngest would be very silly about his genitals and would definitely be comparing with an almost 12 year old! I stopped as it seemed natural as one gets older to learn about privacy.

It is a consideration as pp have said about the boys touching each other, they're sat crossed legged naked and there's a fairly big age difference,one age 7 and 1 nearly 12. I have also hear of a family through my job who's boys explored each other in the bath-its much more common than people realise especially at puberty.
I would definitely stop it. There's no need, they can play elsewhere. Explain privacy and also hygiene!

If anything is weird, it’s your thought processes.

Im 42 now and I quite happily still kiss and cuddle my sibling when I see her.

We adored each other as children, we were never apart, we always kissed and cuddled and we are still really affectionate with each other now. I’m sorry if that freaks you out.

🤣🤣🤣 the 11 year old doesn’t WANT to be naked around his younger sibling, he just IS sometimes and doesn’t think anything of it. Because he is a child….

It might shock you that when I was at uni my female, adult, unrelated housemates quite frequently walked around naked!

I don’t think you need to explain yourself tbh. There is a lot of projecting going on here. Your kids are having fun in the bath. Hardly a newspaper headline.

My two can quite easily do this but our bath is quite big tbf

Did you bath with her

I don't think there's anything wrong with kissing and cuddling in general life i think an 11 year old and an 8 year old kissing and cuddling in school is weird

What a weird thread, I've never heard anything like some of these responses.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with 2 brothers sharing a bath. When the older one wants privacy he'll naturally do it. There's nothing wrong with walking around in dinosaur or any other pants at 11. There's nothing wrong with the entire family walking around in underwear.

Boys share communal showers all over the place as adolescents and young men. There's no need to force embarrassment and prudishness in children. The need for privacy develops naturally, I think the games the kids play in the bath sound great. And you pottering about is very normal and sensible.
I wouldn't give it a second thought OP. Mine were the same and have grown up perfectly normal.