Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

God what misogyny - an older woman will be an old battle axe.

That train is always going to be rammed as it stops at so many seaside towns, and they never put on enough carriages. While waiting, people get incredibly stressed about not getting on. They were rude, but I’ve seen that journey bring out the worst in people myself.

Why? OP was in front of the door and arseholes literally shoved her out of the way. That is not on under any circumstances.

Saturday IS a working day for many.

No you can't. It the high speed between the Kent coast and St Pancras. I commute on it. You can't book any seats on any trains at any time of day.

It must have been really stressful. I’d not regularly used trains for some years until recently when I’ve got a new job that requires it. And honestly it’s so stressful. I’ve seen a lot of situations like you’re talking about and I’ve seen mums desperately trying to make their way through with buggies and I’ve thought to myself how impossible it must be and pretty intimidating tbh. There’s so much pushing and shoving and everyone for themselves. I would always give up my seat for someone with a child or similar circumstances every time. And nothing wrong with a happy babbling one year old! However I do think it was just one of those days and not reflective of everyone. I’ve also had some of my best stranger conversations and laughs with people dealing with train stress in recent months. Those that think ‘we’re all dealing with this together’. Write it off as one of those days!

So families can’t travel to the seaside on public transport on a Saturday either?

Unlikely enough ‘workers’ to have an impact on the amount of people on a train going into London from various seaside towns, though. The main person working would have been the train driver 🤣

If she was in front of the door why didn't she just step on? It's not making sense. Perhaps she was faffing while the carriage was filling up.

I always give my seat to someone carrying DC. A lady carrying a newborn was on my train last week, also standing. I asked her if she wanted me to ask someone to give her a seat but she declined. She did want a seat though as she got one 15 mins later. No-one offered.

You had a shitty train experience OP. I guarantee every single other person on that train had an equally shitty experience.
You'll be better prepared for next time.

Or Sundays, because some people work then too 🤣

I didn't even suggest that.
My comment was in response to OP suggesting Saturday wasn't a working day.
If you're going to pick on all my posts because I disagreed with you, at least get the context. HTH

People pushed me
Pushed in front of me

So what was your husband doing when people were man handing you and pushing you out of the way???

My comment was in response to OP suggesting Saturday wasn't a working day. Loads of folk work on Saturdays so folk like OP can have their weekend fun.

The UK is getting worse as far behaviour in public spaces goes. However, your husband should have held your child and you could have just rested the folded buggy on the floor and steadied it. Men have much greater upper body strength and, if he is taller than you, child would have been held higher and more comfortably. In a country where people have better manners, you wouldn't have been shoved and somebody would have offered you a seat. IME There are worse places. I was literally shoved off a train in Italy and thankful I didn't break my neck.

Women are people too

Then don’t moan and complain when people don’t want to use public transport and use their cars instead.

Can you please read the whole thread before making silly assumptions.
My comment about folk working on Saturday was in response to OPs assertion that Saturday isn't a working day. It is actually a working day for many, as is Sunday. 🫣

Indeed, stupid argument. So what if OP was “faffing” (dealing with getting a buggy onto a train). That doesn’t make it acceptable to literally shove her out of the way. My husband is slow with his walking stick. Is it ok to shove him out of the way? (good luck with that 😁) Or a person with poor eyesight or learning difficulties who might take a bit more time? No, it isn’t.

I did a lot of travelling on trains with DC when they were young, and yes it - and other people - can be a nightmare.

If you know a route well, you can often adapt it a bit or get to know where the good seats are to help.

On my local trains (southern), the carriage with extra space for a wheelchair has doors marked red on the outside, so you can easily see which it is. That's a good one if you have a pushchair.

I would get on with my toddler still in the pushchair and sit at the seat which had space for the pushchair in front. Of course I would have moved if a wheelchair user got on but it was very rare.

I also amended a regular route so we would join
our connection a couple of stops earlier, at the terminus, specifically so we get a much better chance of a seat. It adds about 20 minutes to our 2 hour journey but it's worth it.

YANBU to expect people to be a bit more considerate, but sadly that just isn't the way it is around busy London trains.

Now the DC are older, I'm afraid I might be part of the problem! If we're travelling with a few of us together and would like a table, I've trained DD to weave (not push!) her way through the crowds to get ahead and save a table for us.

DP (a driver and not a regular train user if he can help it) stands there saying "after you" and I tell him you can't do that on trains, it's the law of the jungle out there!

Yes, but women, or females at least, are the only people who can get pregnant. 🫣

So what? That doesn’t excuse atrocious behaviour by anybody.

Who?