Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

Yes but the t&cs says they cant guarantee and the ticket doesn’t come with a seat number

I think we all know what OP meant when she said it wasn't a working day

Getting a bit silly now

I’m guessing you weren’t standing where the doors happened to line up? people don’t really queue for trains like buses. When they are busy you are expected to fold pushchairs but you did nothing wrong asking if you could have a seat - remember people can’t always see you on busy trains to be able to give their seat up to you. Ignore any staring at you talking, that’s a rude London thing, doesn’t happen elsewhere in the country. I suspect you just got unlucky and it was a particularly busy train

We don't know anyone 'literally did shove her out of the way' though, and faffing (when it could have been done 5 mins earlier) is a pain.

Yep. Dog with a bone.

I’ve noticed a distinct decline in public transport etiquette in recent years. People shoving onto trains without letting others off first, playing music out loud on speakers, having video call conversations on loudspeaker, not giving up seats to people who need them more etc.

I know you live in Stratford, but honestly the half hour early that you got to the station would have been better spent taking the train in the opposite direction to the London terminus and then getting the benefit of getting on there to get a seat. Next time I’d recommend that. The trains sit at the platforms for a lot longer and you can actually board the train early and get settled in.

I'm missing the part where you read that because you made it up.

This is good advice.

To be honest, I would have tutted at you or inwardly rolled my eyes, if you hadn’t collapsed your buggy in advance knowing that the train would be busy and although I wouldn’t have pushed past, if stressed myself, I would have likely said something especially as we used to have an easy fold buggy, one hand job. (Child in sling, backpack on, fold buggy one hand and I always did that in advance if I knew the train would be busy.) However I would have given up my seat, and smiled at the chatting and if you’d been trying to fold before train came, helped you out, so I’m not completely horrid.

Of course we do. OP told us in her first post that people “literally pushed us out of the way”.

Yes you’re correct. There is no seat allocation on that line. I use it regularly. The previous poster linked to the Trainline where you can choose your seat ‘preference’ but it is meaningless because there are no allocated seats. It’s first come first served.

There was no quiet part of the platform lol

Yes, we know she decided to dismiss all the people who work at weekends, people who make parts of her life possible. How dare these tired people not prioritise her needs.

Like you commenting on everything I write, without context?

If you seriously don’t think pushing a woman and child out of the way is atrocious behaviour, I can’t help you I’m afraid.

Made it up? What a ridiculous, childish comment 🤣

I have for a 3h train ride which was packed and had to stand for 1h of it as baby was screaming head off when we sat down. He couldn't walk just yet just few steps. Heavy. Was around 14kg. My arm was numb by that point and swapped with DH but lil one only lasted 30min with him before wanting to come back to me.

I get your annoyance. I'd be annoyed too. But it does read as a bit entitled and snowflakey to me. I'd be annoyed and frustrated too but I'd get on with it. Who has time or energy to care about other people? There are twats everywhere. If we gave all of them energy we wouldn't have any of ourselves. Just get on with it. 🤷‍♀️ you got on the train, you got a seat, you got home. All is fine.

Can't get over the responses on this thread. Guess it reflects the way people treat each other when getting in a train...

OP I don't know why you are getting such a hard time here. I hope I'm never in a situation where I think shoving anyone out of the way let alone a mother with a baby is justified. None of my friends and family would do it either. Shame you had this experience.

Yes, because every time an OP tells us something it's 100% accurate.

She wasn’t going from Stratford, she was at the coast going back to Stratford.

Like mentioned , wasn’t faffing mate 🤣 Was struggling to get the buggy on, this thread has actually cheered me up. Been highly enlightening and entertaining so I would like to thank you all . Made my day 😊

What’s your point? These weren’t the people on the train. The ‘people who make parts of OP’s life possible’ by working on Saturdays, would presumably have been…working. Not getting the train at the seaside.

I think you are a bit over-optimistic to expect 'empathy'; to your fellow-passengers you are another body in a crowded space, essentially no different from any other, and their priority, like yours, is just to get on the train. The best strategy is to find out which trains are likely to be crowded and try to avoid them.

so next time your husband carries the heavier burden? it*s not rocket science.

But as pp said: you got on, someone gave you a seat and you're STILL complaininng?

What on earth are you talking about? You’re making ridiculous comments. It’s a public forum. I have commented on just a few of those ridiculous comments. If that offends you, perhaps public forums aren’t for you?

Not all women are pregnant but yes, biologically I’m pretty sure all pregnant people are women or so I’ve been led to believe 🤷🏻‍♀️