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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
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Fragmentedbrain · 10/08/2025 10:44

People are not very empathetic to someone with an added burden, Brits don't like kids, trains in the UK are balls. A depressing trip all round.

But you could have not let him drum on the table...

OneNeatBlueOrca · 10/08/2025 10:45

It's public transport. What did you expect. Your child does not pay a fare and their buggy took up the space of about 2-3 adults standing

The adults with bikes had paid a fare but you objected to their bikes but you had a buggy.

You expected train etiquette to give way to you? Good luck.

RepoTheGeriatricOpera · 10/08/2025 10:49

You got on the train, and someone got up and gave you a seat, which was lovely of them.

All the rest about absolutely everyone giving you dirty looks and not being impressed is probably just because it was a busy day and the train was packed so people were stressed out. I highly doubt it was because of you.

Changingplace · 10/08/2025 10:49

Surely a man with two bikes didn’t push past you to get in the train? Or why didn’t you walk to the next door, trains allow enough time for people to physically get on a train, have you never got public transport before?

Where was your husband in this? Why are you being a martyr carrying a toddler & struggling with the buggy, what was he doing?

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:51

side note, obviously I stopped him drumming on the table , he just kept attempting it which made life harder but I wasn’t going to stop him chatting

OP posts:
JDM625 · 10/08/2025 10:51

I don't understand. You said your DH was with you, so what was the struggle to get on the train? Couldn't he have carried the buggy and you carried the baby- or the other way around? Couldn't you have moved to another carriage once on board?

TBH- I don't keep record of who arrives at the station at what time. Pushing infront of you at the door is not on, but do you expect people to line up in a neat queue based on what time they arrived at the station? 😕

Drumming on the table shouldn't have been allowed! I'd have been annoyed also.

FanofLeaves · 10/08/2025 10:52

I got the train with my baby (he’s 3 now) all the time. We still do. I think you just had a bad experience, it’s annoying for everyone when the trains are packed. Journey time is less than hour though right? So no one suffered for long.

chowmeinz · 10/08/2025 10:53

Why did your husband not carry him if tou were struggling?

waits for the drip feed

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:55

I live in London and don’t have a car so I’ve been on plenty of trains. If you read my post, you would see, I said I couldn’t walk to the next carriage because the train and platform were too busy. There wasn’t enough time in this instance. Not everyone on the platform made it on the train. The man with the bikes was already on the train when it got to my stop. I couldn’t walk down the train because the isles were full of people standing. I literally go anywhere but off the train or on the train where I was stood. My husband carried the buggy and stood holding it folded . I took the baby. And to clarify , I was stood my the door attempting to get on the train with my baby and people were pushing me no out the way

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Jackiepumpkinhead · 10/08/2025 10:56

I’m not sure what day you travelled but it drives me mad when parents with kids (during the holidays) use the trains at rush hour. And then act so surprised that the trains are absolutely packed. Wish they’d use some common sense. In your case, there’s no train etiquette any more, it’s every man and woman for themselves, unfortunately.

Mousehi · 10/08/2025 10:56

If you're getting folkestone to London chances are a lot of people get off more locally so you'd get a seat at the next stop usually.

I'd also invest in a buggy for days out. If your child is toddling and sitting up well you can get a lightweight umbrella stroller that can then be stored in the overhead luggage rack.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 10:57

Direct your anger at the train company for not providing enough space (longer and/or more frequent trains), not the other travellers who have every much as right to a seat/space as you.
Did you expect them all to stop and let you on first or something?

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:57

I obviously didn’t let him drum on the table , I assumed that was a given

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YellowZebraStripes · 10/08/2025 10:57

Were you expecting a red carpet? 😂There was a train, you managed to get on, someone gave you a seat, it was quite busy. I don't see how this was anyone else fault - someone with bikes can only get on at certain carriages of the train.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:58

Fast train, no local stops. I live in Stratford

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BIWI · 10/08/2025 10:59

… and you absolutely can book seats on those trains.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:00

It was the weekend and a reasonable time to travel

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SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 10/08/2025 11:01

I don’t think there’s such a thing as train etiquette. In circumstances like yours, you need to have the nerve to speak up for yourself and you did. It shouldn’t be necessary but it is, and it sounds like you did just fine to me.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:01

If you read my post properly wou would see the main issue was that people pushed me out the way to get on. Like literally pushed in front

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 10/08/2025 11:01

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:51

side note, obviously I stopped him drumming on the table , he just kept attempting it which made life harder but I wasn’t going to stop him chatting

Edited

On a bus in Norfolk my then 1 year old daughter was babbling and some twat said "for fucks sake!"
I went and sat upstairs with my husband and son as I was so upset, when id looked round in a Richard e grant in with nail and I "which fucker said that" way, no one would even look at me so I've no idea who it was. Intolerant twats

purpleme12 · 10/08/2025 11:01

Getting on a train isn't based on how early you get there

Getting there 30 minutes early just makes it harder for you cos there's longer to wait

But no one should be pushing no

If people give dirty looks just give them dirty looks back.

But none of this is worth getting hung up on. Trains aren't great sometimes but it's just a method of getting us somewhere. Shrug and move on

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:01

No you can’t on the fast trains

OP posts:
BIWI · 10/08/2025 11:02

Yes you can.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:02

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:00

It was the weekend and a reasonable time to travel

Any time is a reasonable time for dmy person to travel, however some trains are busier than others.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:02

One man had 2 bikes? (missing point entirely …..).

For those saying they’re irritated by families who travel during rush hours, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable expectation to go to a seaside town on a Saturday and not be shoved out of the way by rude people.