Train etiquette

[EmJA85]

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

And me! My three year old is rather partial to a lively Crystal Palace crowd.

I used to make infrequent train journeys with my toddler. I would always have another adult with me and he would push me to the front of the Que, and then stand behind me stopping anyone pushing. I always found it was the youngsters who’d offer to help while the older people would try to push.

I now need a stick to get about so have to watch my child and balance. The above system still works as people still push into me.

I’ll hold my child like I said. Or help them stand. My financial issues and reliance on public transport are my own damn fault

That really doesn’t mean you have to martyr yourself. Lots of people rely on public transport. Why the shame?

I got to page 7 and had read enough. Why do people think it's acceptable for people to push past someone holding a baby? Of course the op will need a seat most people I know would gladly offer a seat . Plus a baby drumming isn't so bad, it's not like it's a teenager with a full on. drum kit . How did people get so intolerant? OP Im sorry this happened to you.

There were two adults in this situation and one child

A seat was given up.

A complaint by the OP that it had a table. Because her child likes to bang on tables.

If you rtft it’s more enlightening. You’ll see OP keeps changing her mind about what the problem actually was. At the end of the day, people rush to get on and off trains, she felt pushed, but actually maybe it was just the hustle and bustle of a train 🤷‍♀️ She mentioned the bikes sounding like a problem, but later said they weren’t, so why mention them? She got a seat, but still moaned about it 🤷‍♀️ She faffed with the buggy getting in peoples way 🤷‍♀️ She was cross with others because they left her to carry her ‘heavy’ toddler 🤷‍♀️ She said people don’t work on Saturday’s 😵‍💫 That’s just to name a few things. In all of this, her dh was somewhere, not really helping much 🤷‍♀️
I think she should have been more annoyed with dh than other travellers tbh 🤷‍♀️

There is a thread about a person who needs to get on public transport at a certain time not to be late for work. In rush hour there will be many people like that- with or without children to take to school etc

Sorry if I have not rtft!

Because people without children also have things to do. She got a seat. There were 2 adults one child. OP said they travel frequently in London, so must be used to things.

A toddler banging on a table IS annoying. Yes so are teenagers with music but doesn't mean it's all okay

OP

The result of the poll:

YANBU

Hopefully the close vote as now speaks to you OP

Yes they do, I frequently get trains alone. I would never push a parent holding a baby and if you think that's ok then I worry about you. A baby drumming on a table, how hard and annoying could that actually be when there's grown ups shouting into phones? It's a baby, it's the adults who should know better.

I am not saying it's okay to push a baby out of the way. I say this as someone who has travelled frequently with a baby and toddler on public transport

I just don't see the drama here- OP and DH got a seat. Yes rush hour is busy. People might be rushing for their own reasons- adults with special needs etc.

Where is the drama here? OP got on with a seat for her and partner

Many choose public transport over cars

I am sorry but a baby drumming on a table IS annoying- in rush hour many adults have to work on the train etc.

I also am in London and I have to say people have always been so accommodating to me. I have 2 kids, one is a toddler and even when I was pregnant people have always been so helpful.
I think it was just a busy day, hot and people were just wanting to get going. Sorry you had a bad experience.

Have you read it because it has fuck all to do with rush hour travel.

Advice to OP just don't travel London rush hour on the train....but yiu said you are a frequent traveller so I guess you knew this. Most people are accommodating as has been said. If not, try to understand their needs

So people can work on a train and speak loudly into a phone but a baby carnt tap on a table because that's annoying? Have a word with yourself. It's public transport, if you find a baby annoying maybe don't work on a train , it's not an office.

Well the OP said it was a rush to get on the train. That she knows London travel peaks.

Again, it’s really bad form to keep hammering a point like a dog with a bone when it’s completely irrelevant to the OP.

It
wasn’t
rush
hour

Or London.

Agree it us equally annoying!

Okay point accepted.

To be fair it was a London commute.