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Original poster

Train etiquette

684 replies

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 10:41

Was getting the train back to London from a day out in Folkestone yesterday with my husband and my 1 year old. It’s not possible to book seats on that line. We arrived at the platform 30mins early because we knew it would be busy. As soon as the train arrived people literally pushed us out of the way to get on. Then there was a man with 2 bikes by the door, we couldn’t attempt to move to another carriage because we wouldn’t get on and the trains only run once an hour. People tutted and moaned because I was having trouble getting on. There wasn’t space to keep the buggy up so I had to carry him and people thought it was acceptable to let me stand holding a 12kg toddler, he can’t walk yet and is very energetic. I spoke out and was given a seat but everyone gave me dirty looks as if I was in the wrong. If I rocked up late or if seats were assigned I would say fair enough but I was there early and they all pushed in front. The icing on the cake was the seat I was given was in the area with the tables so he was given a makeshift drum and thought it was a social event so he proceeded to babble at everyone for the hour , people were not impressed. Is there an unwritten rule that you don’t get trains with kids? I don’t have a car

OP posts:
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GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:18

Blobbitymacblob · 10/08/2025 11:15

When we travel, dh and I split the jobs- one person would find a seat, and the other battle with a buggy, or whatever needs doing.

If you’re travelling alone, try and strike up a conversation with an older woman on the platform who is child friendly (they’ll be the one smiling at your child). They’re a force to be reckoned with.

Um, leave older women alone thanks. They're not your tools for gaining a seat. 🫣

Painrelief · 10/08/2025 11:18

Do London not have the pram and disabled carriage with the designated pram area ? Maybe look for that or look on the app to see which carriage is the disabled carriage coz that should be somewhere for you to put the buggy .

Moancup · 10/08/2025 11:18

chowmeinz · 10/08/2025 11:10

I think the issue is the OP arrived 30 minutes early and expected some sort of invisible queuing system to be in place.

This. It just doesn’t exist. It’s not like waiting for a bus.

OP I get that train a lot. On sunny days it is always busy and there are often too many bikes. You can’t book seats on it. I’m surprised you were pushed out of the way though and not surprised you were given a seat. Beyond that it’s not any more of less child hating on anarchic than any other route.

Phobiaphobic · 10/08/2025 11:18

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:16

This has happened as long as I've ever travelled by train, so since the late 80s.

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Not to me. I've literally never saw anyone pushing in front back when I regularly used public transport in the south east and London. On the contrary, I saw plenty of instances where people would stand back a let women with children onto the train first, or help them with the buggy.

chaosmaker · 10/08/2025 11:18

I had booked a seat to go to London from Cardiff. Everyone was pushing on, no one checked tickets the entire trip. I didn't get my booked seat, got told to go to another carriage with more seats and when I did get off the full carriage to go to the next one, the guard blew the whistle. I did manage to get on but had to stand all the way. I have some mobility issues. Still need to put a complaint in about it.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:19

People weren’t working. It was saturday

OP posts:
nomas · 10/08/2025 11:20

You got a seat, not sure why you’re moaning, sounds like you wanted a parting of the Red Sea because you have a baby.

twinkletwinklelittlestarhiwwur · 10/08/2025 11:20

I've stood on many a train with a toddler and other young kids in tow. Your husband had the fold up buggy. Was it a small compact one? I used to have the toddler in the buggy during the ride. So much easier to stand when you're not holding the child. I've never experienced it quite so busy though, thank goodness.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:20

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:14

Eh? There's often no queues for trains, nobody is in front of anyone - hopefully a door will stop near you but it's not guaranteed (seasoned travellers on certain routes, or folk who read car stop signs will be better at predicting this).

Edited
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The OP was standing at the front of the platform, the train stopped in front of her and people literally shoved her out of the way to get through the door (which was presumably in front of OP or why would they have shoved her?). Just not on.

ilovesooty · 10/08/2025 11:20

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:16

This has happened as long as I've ever travelled by train, so since the late 80s.

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Agreed. I travelled a lot in and out of London in the late 70s and it happened then.

skyeisthelimit · 10/08/2025 11:20

some people are just so rude now. I use a walking stick sometimes, and one of the last times that I caught a train, I was stood by the door with my stick, about to get on and a group of teens pushed me out of the way. I nearly fell over, so I did say something, and got a mouthful of abuse back "we're just trying to get on the fucking train, same as you".....

My friend now stands at the front with DD and they get on and save a seat for me while I stand back and wait for the rabid crush to get on the train. Every man is out for himself, and wants a table, or the disabled leg room seats.

I reserve for longer journeys, but we can't reserve on the 45 min train to the city.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:21

As mentioned in original post. I Was Stood my the doors . People pushed me

OP posts:
Espressosummer · 10/08/2025 11:21

fretnot · 10/08/2025 11:10

I totally understand your frustration and upset OP. You do expect some kind of etiquette around vulnerable passengers in a platform crush when otherwise it’s the law of the jungle and the people getting on the train are just the biggest and strongest. Would any of you on this thread elbow past a mother and child to get on the train first? I wouldn’t.

I wouldnt either. But I would walk around a couple if they were faffing about trying to fold up a buggy which they could have done before the train arrived.

twinkletwinklelittlestarhiwwur · 10/08/2025 11:22

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:18

Um, leave older women alone thanks. They're not your tools for gaining a seat. 🫣

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Yep. I'm not yet 'older' but middle aged but I think you do your own advocating for a seat for yourself. I'm not going to do it for you. I might smile at the child also but that's as far as it goes. I don't want to engage, I just want to be left alone for a quiet ride.

Espressosummer · 10/08/2025 11:22

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:21

As mentioned in original post. I Was Stood my the doors . People pushed me

I really don't understand this. If you were stood by the doors then you just step onto the train. What were you doing instead of this?

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:23

Phobiaphobic · 10/08/2025 11:18

Not to me. I've literally never saw anyone pushing in front back when I regularly used public transport in the south east and London. On the contrary, I saw plenty of instances where people would stand back a let women with children onto the train first, or help them with the buggy.

Show quote history

Right, but it not happening to you doesn't mean it didn't happen.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:23

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:21

As mentioned in original post. I Was Stood my the doors . People pushed me

So many people just haven’t read your post properly. YANBU. Shoving anyone out of the way it completely unacceptable behaviour. Arseholes. I wouldn’t tolerate it, never have, as I said earlier but I can completely understand that it can be difficult to stick up for yourself when you’re holding your child because you don’t know how people may react.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:24

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:19

People weren’t working. It was saturday

Some people work on Saturdays. 🫣

rwalker · 10/08/2025 11:24

It’s a difficult one because I used to commute in the Manchester/Edinburgh train its was rammed leaving Piccadilly
but I used to get a later train and book on line that incurred booking fee so I got a seat
tbh I’d begrudge to give that up as I’d planned and got a train that wasn’t particularly convenient but it was worth getting 20 minutes later home so I could sit down after work 9 hours

twinkletwinklelittlestarhiwwur · 10/08/2025 11:24

If you're faffing about with a buggy near the door (should be all ready to go and jump on quickly when the train arrives), people are going to go past you. They probably don't see it as pushing, just going around the person faffing about at the door.

Original poster
EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:24

It wasn’t a working day. It was the fast train from Margate to King’s Cross on a Saturday. Obviously I didn’t expect old people etc to get up and again if you actually read the post . The issue wasn’t about people pushing me out the way

OP posts:
GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:25

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/08/2025 11:20

The OP was standing at the front of the platform, the train stopped in front of her and people literally shoved her out of the way to get through the door (which was presumably in front of OP or why would they have shoved her?). Just not on.

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Read the existing replies.

Seeline · 10/08/2025 11:26

EmJA85 · 10/08/2025 11:21

As mentioned in original post. I Was Stood my the doors . People pushed me

So you just step straight on - unless you hadn't collapsed the buggy in advance, in which case of course people are going to get in in front of you.

GleisZwei · 10/08/2025 11:26

twinkletwinklelittlestarhiwwur · 10/08/2025 11:22

Yep. I'm not yet 'older' but middle aged but I think you do your own advocating for a seat for yourself. I'm not going to do it for you. I might smile at the child also but that's as far as it goes. I don't want to engage, I just want to be left alone for a quiet ride.

Show quote history

Yes, me too.

Lazygardener · 10/08/2025 11:26

I’ve used public transport all my life. I commuted on a busy line to London every day for many years before I retired, I now go round the country by train, use the London Underground, and local and London buses. I have seen some bad behaviour, but also a lot of courtesy and kindness, regardless of how busy the train is. You had a bad experience, undoubtedly, but I don’t think it is necessarily the norm.