Page 26 | Families that don't do anything with children

Countryspaniel · 2025-08-09T18:31:13+00:00

In my line of work I come into contact with a lot of families. Over the summer it got me thinking why some families don't do anything with children. Why is it that some people just sit around at home day after day? I'm realistic that not everyone has money but you don't need money for a lot of things. There are parks, community events, walking, bike rides, Picnics, library, museums etc. I can't imagine why you would want to sit at home day after day without expanding children's experiences.

usedtobeaylis · 11/08/2025 07:58

Thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2025 07:55

Yeah of course 10 year olds aren't going to want to go back to the park all the time. You really have to force it a bit.

I remember during lockdown literally bribing my daughter to go on little walks with me to instil a sense of the importance of getting out. She's 14 now and she gets the importance of it.

It's your job as the parent to do it. Of course they're going to push back. It's up to you to make it happen.

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It's a parents job to make sure their kids are active sure, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the endless banging on about 'the park', it's on a par with 'a bag of pasta is 4p'.

OverheardInLidl · 11/08/2025 08:08

Thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2025 07:22

I hear this attitude trotted out a lot about the importance of being "bored" and it really winds me up: I'm afraid I think mainly its self-justifying nonsense from people looking to excuse their own laziness.

People always bang on about kids playing out, damming streams, making dens and all this but they are not doing this, for the most part. They are on devices. "Learning to be creative" would require, in practice, a 24/7 screen ban which could only be enforced by a SAHP or the total removal of device, leading to a revolt.

I completely get that parents can't supervise their kids for six weeks during the summer and that a lot of activities are prohibitively expensive. Not all kids need to be helicoptered throughout the whole summer holiday. But let's be honest about this. The kid who is left to be "bored" isn't turning himself into the next Picasso or Mary Berry. He or she is playing on Roblox (if you're lucky).

There's a happy medium here. Back to back scheduling from here to kingdom come takes away most of a kid's resources and isn't ideal or affordable. But equally, leaving them to fester on the iPad for six weeks isn't turning them into a creative genius.

I'd rather my kid be over-scheduled than left to rot in their bedroom while I tell myself he or she is learning through "creative play".

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I assume you're in these people's homes 24/7 and know for absolute certain that this happens from day to day?

incognitomouse · 11/08/2025 08:10

usedtobeaylis · 11/08/2025 07:51

I think people are vastly overestimating the appeal of repeated visits to local parks to 10 year olds tbh.

Haha this.

God I hate 'the park'.

I don't take the kids out all day every day, because I also have a life to be getting on with. They don't need to be dragged all over the place, when we're at home they'll be entertaining themselves by building Lego or playing games or playing football or tennis in the garden. They don't have to be skipping around a National Trust property to have a fullfilling day.

OverheardInLidl · 11/08/2025 08:10

strawberrybubblegum · 11/08/2025 06:22

Children under 16 travel free on London underground and some London overground (with the free zip card if they're over 10). And people on UC or other benefits get half price travel. All the London museums have areas where you can eat a picnic and more people do that than use the cafes. The shops are easy to avoid - usually to one side, unlike commercial places where you go through it on the way out. And if the shop or cafe is the highlight for a kid, you're going to the wrong museums. I can't imagine many preschoolers who wouldn't prefer the interactive Garden at the science museum: it's the adults who like the cafe ime (but even I would choose the Garden instead)

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And what about the families who live miles away from London, or any big city with free transport, or all these free activities for children?

PolyVagalNerve · 11/08/2025 08:14

OverheardInLidl · 11/08/2025 08:10

And what about the families who live miles away from London, or any big city with free transport, or all these free activities for children?

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Gotta love the ‘what about’ responses !!

as if anyone sensible thinks that 1 size fits all, at ALL cost !!

Mayana1 · 11/08/2025 08:16

Countryspaniel · 09/08/2025 19:39

It's just very sad. It's not about expensive farm parks and days out. Its about letting children see something beyond their own bedroom and school. It contributes to learning experiences and hunger to see things.

I'm lucky, I drive and I have some means. My children have lots of free play time at home and live in the countryside but I also ensure we go to National Trust places to see things, we go fruit picking and I follow the local village abd towns Facebook pages to see what free events are on. They aren't spoilt but they get so much from visiting places.

I met a little boy Friday who said he'd just "chilled out" and played his tablet all summer and it made me so sad.

There was a post here recently of one mum asking don't we think the summer holidays in the UK are too short. And so many commented they're long enough, one mom even said her kids are already bored after 2 weeks. It's absolutely understandable they're bored as they're home 24/7 probably whole month.
We have summer holidays for 9 weeks back home and children absolutely think they're too short. They are mostly outside, either with friends, going swimming, holidays with parents or grandparents, hiking is very popular in my country, plenty of free activities either organised or individual. I think it depend of type of parents. If parents are active children will be too. And that has nothing to do with money - you can most probably walk to a local park if that is the only option to be outside. I have a 3 year old and I'll be gladly give all my house chores to someone else and stay out with him whole day, every day.

ThatDeepMauvePoet · 11/08/2025 08:16

We can’t go to parks as one of my DC has SEN and is petrified of dogs to the point that she would run into the road to avoid one. Unfortunately the vast majority of dog owners by me ignore the rule to keep their dogs on leads. I’m a single parent and it just wouldn’t be safe for my other children if I had to leave them unsupervised to restrain DD. We do end up going to paid days out to use play areas (like theme parks or our local botanical gardens) but these are expensive.

allydoobs83 · 11/08/2025 08:20

I work nights,3 on, 3 off. I do my best to get my son out of the house, even if it means I'll be shattered at work that night. Luckily,I have a very understanding boss,but summer holidays are hard and I hate how much time my DS spends on his tablet......
Would like to think I'm not a bad parent, but the guilt is overwhelming. Doing as much as I can,as the main breadwinner; (despite my partner's best efforts). 2025 can do one!

RubySquid · 11/08/2025 08:26

strawberrybubblegum · 11/08/2025 06:22

Children under 16 travel free on London underground and some London overground (with the free zip card if they're over 10). And people on UC or other benefits get half price travel. All the London museums have areas where you can eat a picnic and more people do that than use the cafes. The shops are easy to avoid - usually to one side, unlike commercial places where you go through it on the way out. And if the shop or cafe is the highlight for a kid, you're going to the wrong museums. I can't imagine many preschoolers who wouldn't prefer the interactive Garden at the science museum: it's the adults who like the cafe ime (but even I would choose the Garden instead)

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That's all very well if you live in London. I live not too far past of the Elizabeth line. To get a cheap day return is going to cost me a minimum of £15 plus the ticket for kids until get to the London section for free fares. Others will live further out and cost more

OverheardInLidl · 11/08/2025 08:26

PolyVagalNerve · 11/08/2025 08:14

Gotta love the ‘what about’ responses !!

as if anyone sensible thinks that 1 size fits all, at ALL cost !!

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Clearly a lot of people on this thread do think that.

KimberleyClark · 11/08/2025 08:31

I was born in the early 60s. Back then kids were left to their own devices a lot more and learned to entertain themselves. We did have the occasional day out but our days weren’t fully scheduled like kids’ days are today.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 11/08/2025 08:33

PolyVagalNerve · 11/08/2025 08:14

Gotta love the ‘what about’ responses !!

as if anyone sensible thinks that 1 size fits all, at ALL cost !!

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Well, when the question literally is “why can’t people do this?” the answers will be examples of why people can’t.

sashh · 11/08/2025 08:38

Where I am there isn't a park in walking distance. Bus fares for an adult are £3.00 for a single or £5.20 for a day ticket for a child they are £1.50 for a single trip or £2.60 for a day ticket.

So for an adult and two children to go anywhere by bus is £10.40 then you have to feed them at some point, OK you can take a packed lunch but it still costs money. Then there is paying for the 'thing', there is one art gallery otherwise everything costs.

One thing by me that is really well attended is the local community centre, they have sand delivered to make a beach and an inflatable swimming pool and they feed the children who attend. And they do good food too.

I can totally understand a parent picking the free activity they can walk to.

RhaenysRocks · 11/08/2025 08:41

Im sure the poster talking about London knows it's different elsewhere but i also think SOME of the responses about impossible it is are hyperbole. My SEN ds is terrified of dogs too and it did restrict what we could do in lockdown especially but there are places that enforce leads (a deer park near us) and beaches similar in May-Sept. Of course every single situation is different and I don't think all posters need to include caveats every time...surely posters can assume they understand not everyone lives in London or in a rural safe place, or a beach or with NT kids.

labtest57 · 11/08/2025 08:44

MrTiddlesTheCat · 09/08/2025 19:56

You can't imagine why someone would want to sit at home all day? I'm recovering from cancer treatment. So take your judgmental pity for my poor, bored child and shove it.

This clearly isnt about you.

SummerSalad · 11/08/2025 08:49

MrsSunshine2b · 09/08/2025 20:14

Yes, exactly, she's the kind of kid that wants to do all that (and DH and I also have lots of hobbies so it's all she knows I suppose) but even if your child wasn't like that you'd try to get them to do one thing. And some of them I know would like to but aren't given the chance.

There's a girl (9) we have over quite a lot and she loves singing, dancing, doing cartwheels and so on and she gets a bit jealous when DD is talking about being in performances and so on. She's never done any clubs apart from choir at lunchtime at school.

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You are coming across as quite smug.

Thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2025 08:50

@OverheardInLidl

I assume you're in these people's homes 24/7 and know for absolute certain that this happens from day to day?

Of course not, don't be ridiculous. It's a rhetorical point.

But in reality: "allowing children to be bored" without recourse to screens/devices, usually means one of two things:

Total screen/device ban: which is almost unenforceable when you're a working parent because it means you're constantly disturbed/interrupted by said kids.
Supervision and making sure they come off screens all the time, which is doable if you're not working but fairly labour intensive in the best scenarios

If you're in the highly privileged position of being a SAHM with plenty of resources and a large house in the country, maybe "allowing children to be creatively bored" is achievable. But for most of us there's a tradeoff between money and time.

I just don't buy the idea that the country is full of children living out some ersatz 1940s childhood like Five Go Mad in Suburbia, replete with den building and lashings of (home made) ginger beer. It's largely a fiction and yet another one which is designed to make working parents feel guilty.

Given that situation: I'd far rather have a child in summer clubs or other activities than lying around at home.

OverheardInLidl · 11/08/2025 08:55

Thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2025 08:50

@OverheardInLidl

I assume you're in these people's homes 24/7 and know for absolute certain that this happens from day to day?

Of course not, don't be ridiculous. It's a rhetorical point.

But in reality: "allowing children to be bored" without recourse to screens/devices, usually means one of two things:

Total screen/device ban: which is almost unenforceable when you're a working parent because it means you're constantly disturbed/interrupted by said kids.
Supervision and making sure they come off screens all the time, which is doable if you're not working but fairly labour intensive in the best scenarios

If you're in the highly privileged position of being a SAHM with plenty of resources and a large house in the country, maybe "allowing children to be creatively bored" is achievable. But for most of us there's a tradeoff between money and time.

I just don't buy the idea that the country is full of children living out some ersatz 1940s childhood like Five Go Mad in Suburbia, replete with den building and lashings of (home made) ginger beer. It's largely a fiction and yet another one which is designed to make working parents feel guilty.

Given that situation: I'd far rather have a child in summer clubs or other activities than lying around at home.

Again, thats all well and good if you can afford summer clubs, or even live close to where they are being run. Some summer clubs charge £40 per day or more. In reality some parents will only be able to afford one session over the summer. Then you'll be saying how terrible it is that they only got to go once.

BTW I grew up playing in the garden and building dens. My mum actually made home made ginger beer, and I was born in the 80s. Not sure where you've got the idea this only happened in the 1940s. Considering what was going on at the time, Enid Blyton's books were purely fantasy.

Thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2025 09:02

@OverheardInLidl

BTW I grew up playing in the garden and building dens. My mum actually made home made ginger beer, and I was born in the 80s. Not sure where you've got the idea this only happened in the 1940s. Considering what was going on at the time, Enid Blyton's books were purely fantasy..

Enid Blyton's books were written in the 1940s. That's all great but the 1980s was pre smartphones. The point today is that removing kids from their devices requires more or less constant supervision.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 11/08/2025 09:03

Thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2025 08:50

@OverheardInLidl

I assume you're in these people's homes 24/7 and know for absolute certain that this happens from day to day?

Of course not, don't be ridiculous. It's a rhetorical point.

But in reality: "allowing children to be bored" without recourse to screens/devices, usually means one of two things:

Total screen/device ban: which is almost unenforceable when you're a working parent because it means you're constantly disturbed/interrupted by said kids.
Supervision and making sure they come off screens all the time, which is doable if you're not working but fairly labour intensive in the best scenarios

If you're in the highly privileged position of being a SAHM with plenty of resources and a large house in the country, maybe "allowing children to be creatively bored" is achievable. But for most of us there's a tradeoff between money and time.

I just don't buy the idea that the country is full of children living out some ersatz 1940s childhood like Five Go Mad in Suburbia, replete with den building and lashings of (home made) ginger beer. It's largely a fiction and yet another one which is designed to make working parents feel guilty.

Given that situation: I'd far rather have a child in summer clubs or other activities than lying around at home.

You’re forgetting all the people that work term time jobs so they have the holidays off with their kids.

RubySquid · 11/08/2025 09:09

Thepeopleversuswork · 11/08/2025 09:02

@OverheardInLidl

BTW I grew up playing in the garden and building dens. My mum actually made home made ginger beer, and I was born in the 80s. Not sure where you've got the idea this only happened in the 1940s. Considering what was going on at the time, Enid Blyton's books were purely fantasy..

Enid Blyton's books were written in the 1940s. That's all great but the 1980s was pre smartphones. The point today is that removing kids from their devices requires more or less constant supervision.

It doesn't really. My DGC is only allowed iPad at weekends. It's locked away all week. No problem at all. Never been any different

incognitomouse · 11/08/2025 09:17

The point today is that removing kids from their devices requires more or less constant supervision.

Why?

xLittleMissCantBeWrongx · 11/08/2025 09:20

MissEloiseBridgerton · 11/08/2025 07:43

It's not about individual people who can't take their kids out for whatever reason but I have noticed it this holiday for sure. There are 2 primary schools in our town, hundreds of kids yet the playgrounds are empty, the library is dead, even the swimming pool is never that busy! Where are all the kids?! These places don't cost money, you don't need to drive as our town is walkable. We live on the coast, surround by forests, also largely empty. There's no need to spend money but kids need to get out. We both work but with leave have managed to get our every day, and we haven't gone broke yet! I can't understand it at all.

Really because it’s the total opposite here. Everywhere is absolutely rammed and that is off putting in itself tbh. But we press on anyway…

it’s about balance. Mine are going swimming this morning. Then they might have a couple of hours on the Switch (they are playing some elaborate game together on Minecraft, building a village or something) then maybe park or library this afternoon.

waterrat · 11/08/2025 09:22

As others have said. Because of loss of street play and children playing outdoors for hours Unsupervised !! Which was rhe normal for most of human history.

Adults now have to take children out for organised playing in parks or to activities in a way that is basically wierd compared to how humans evolved to live

MimiGC · 11/08/2025 09:34

It was ever thus. I trained as a social worker 40 years ago and did a placement on a housing estate in Plymouth. Many children there had never been to the seaside. In Plymouth.