Families that don't do anything with children

[Countryspaniel]

In my line of work I come into contact with a lot of families. Over the summer it got me thinking why some families don't do anything with children.

Why is it that some people just sit around at home day after day? I'm realistic that not everyone has money but you don't need money for a lot of things.

There are parks, community events, walking, bike rides, Picnics, library, museums etc.

I can't imagine why you would want to sit at home day after day without expanding children's experiences.

I have a small paved garden so we go out a lot to the local park. Maybe if I had a big nice garden we wouldn’t go out as much. I go crazy in the house though if I’m there too long!

This would also highly depend on how much child free time you get. If you have a good support network/kids are at school then you’ll have more energy to take them out on weekends/during holidays.

If however, you are single parent or don’t have any family nearby and the kids are not of school age, then it can be incredibly hard, when literally never having a break from them. The last thing you feel like is taking them out every day and facing toddler tantrums in public, knowing you do this 7 days a week and never have an opportunity to recharge.

I agree with you based on my first scenario but if somebody’s situation is more like the second, then I wouldn’t blame them whatsoever.

indeed - “depression can be helped by getting outdoors”, well yes it can but sometimes it feels unbelievably hard to get your children dressed and ready and out of the house and supervise them on the playground and deal with them nagging for an ice cream you can’t afford.

I had chronic fatigue and mentally I would feel better for getting everyone out and I knew the DC needed it but then I would be flat wiped out for the rest of the day from a 1 hour trip to the park.

@MrsSunshine2bThat’s ridiculous! If my DD was out of the house that much then I’d fail to see the difference between that and boarding school tbh. You barely see your child!

I could quite happily stay inside!

I don’t because I feel like a bad parent but all they do is moan and argue and want me to buy things. I feel like every outing costs more than the one before!

Eh? 5 hours of clubs a week is less than an hour a day! Are you saying that people whose kids go to after school club until 5pm while they work may as well send them to boarding school?

Yup. We never got into the out every day routine, because we didn’t need to. What we were doing was working, no one was miserable, or tantruming or climbing the walls. Well DD did have a climbing the door frames stage at some point, pretending to be spiderman , but you know what I mean .

We did go out, she had/has experiences on a fairly similar level to her peers, but we were predominantly at home. Now that she’s 13 she manages her own social calendar 99% of the time and she still prefers being at home.

Mine have been at the bouldering wall with me and their auntie all afternoon and when next door asked what they'd been up to the six year old said "We went to the shop".

Same wee rat has had a week with his big sister walking him all over the city to every free thing she could find, a week in granny's being let away with blue murder, a week at home with his great uncle building a damn den in the garden for them, three weeks of summer club with his after school scheme, and next week will be going on holiday. And I guarantee the only thing he will tell anyone will be that he went to the duck pond with his big sister the last day of school and she dropped her coat in it.

I’m a homebody, always have been since I was a child myself.

I now have a child of my own now and we spend a lot of time in the house, may be boring to some but we get up to a lot of activities :

Baking
Dance Parties
Gardening (grow a lot of veg in our garden)
Crafts, like painting, Crochet, paper mache, pottery
Read books together
Make forts out of blankets and throw picnics inside

If we didn’t have a dog to walk I’d easily spend a whole week at home without realising as the days go by so quickly as we’re just kept occupied - understand this isn’t for everyone though

Does daylight and movement in the garden not count? Is it a special type of daylight outside the fence?

We travel on buses all the time - kids love them.

I honestly think loads of it is laziness and screen time.
Much easier to entertain your children and not have to go out and about doing things if they have iPads and computer consoles to be stuck to.

My children are 10 and 6, Im always looking for free stuff to do, some of the time my kids will say they don't want to go out or do anything (mainly 10 year old) but always always enjoy it when they're there. Of course we have some rest days but if we spend too much time at home they just end up fighting!

DD's friends seem to be on Minecraft or roblox all day every day

Exactly. My two daughters married well doing men but when I came here, I started taking the kids walking down the road, meeting the neighbours, telling the kids : tomorrow we will be playing a ball game at around 11 , come why not. Then exchanged food and recipes with the older ones. As I observe and read the news I understand we live in a safe small town but still

I really really really hope that you're not some sort of Family Worker or intervention worker. If you are and you're asking this question you have training needs.

I’m advocating for the bare minimum -

yes, the garden,

anything other than screens / bedroom all day !!

Left to their own devices, my kids happily designed obstacle courses, played active games, climbed the tree, built dens, grew and harvested tomatoes, went on imaginary adventures etc in the garden. Plenty of movement and daylight there, and much cheaper and more fun than going on an expensive, stressful day out.

We actively chose the bus over driving a lot of the time when mine were toddlers because the bus was a big adventure!

We live in a popular tourist destination - as a result, my kids would rather stay in!!

😂😂😂😂

When nannying, I took two kids to Thorpe park, they had a blast, went on everything, spent 9h there.

“how was your day?! Did you have a fantastic time” asked their mum

9yo said “IHope bought us ice cream!”

Thanks kids!

I was just thinking about the times in the long holidays where my mum would chuck us out in the garden or send is upstairs to play and we’d make up all kinds of games, write little books, make a band with the keyboard and tambourine, build dens, look at snails, frogs, worms, etc.

I have nostalgic memories of our first video game that we spent weeks trying to complete and secretly never turned off because we didn’t have a save cartridge.

I don’t think there was this pressure to do, do, do for mums. It was more like keep the kids occupied with a plate of fish fingers and some cartoons so you can get on with things.

Most days out are overpriced, overstimulating-crowded and overstimulating. I once lived near a family attraction and saw so many screaming, tired out children on their way home.

I haven't got the time to read all ten pages of comments, perhaps I should have, but I find it hard to believe that you can't imagine 'why' parents don't get their kids out more. I love the outdoors and adventure, and find it impossible to sit still. I'm always painting something, or gardening, or writing if I'm not working, and I want so much for my kids to have the same lust for life that I do, but for myriad reasons it doesn't work out that way. I a single parent and I have no money, ever trip involves some expenditure... today i took them for a walk, the car park was 4 pounds, the petrol five, they had ice creams (ok not essential) that was nine. But more than that, they are teens, they don't want to go anywhere - every. single. trip. is a nightmare of bickering and arguing. Sometimes i end up in tears.. its such hard work. My eldest doesn't enjoy anything. I took them to Thorpe Park, but he wouldn't go on a single ride. To the beach, he wouldn't go near the sea. Walking is non-stop moaning from all three. It's such hard work, I persevere and press on, but sometimes I wish I could just give up and leave them at home so I could have a rest from the endless negativity. if I were less inclined to being out and doing stuff then I just wouldnt bother. It isnt hard for me to see at all why people let their kids stay in all summer... and I find it impossible that people can't emphasis with children who march to a different beat, or understand that to some people the cost of petrol, or train fare or simple treats is more than they can afford.

Get lynched round here for feeding crusts to the ducks 😬 frozen peas only 🙃

Yes my friends DC are similar. Would happily never leave the house if they didn’t have to! That doesn’t for a second mean they’re on screens all’s day at all but TONS of crafts, baking, cooking, imaginary play. They are constantly doing things

I live in a tourist hotspot. Our town and beaches are pretty much out of bounds all summer as the whole world seems to want to walk, sit and eat in same spots. We stay in our garden mostly. I’d love to be able to take my kids out but too many tourists makes it awful. We go elsewhere, sometimes, but for locals who live in a tourist spot.. we survive and endure summer; we don’t get to enjoy ETA; we do lots of water play, lots of crafts, lots of den building and and baking. We walk in the woods away from tourists and we do early morning sea swims. My kids get out; we just hate being around the masses

This is true 😂
I can cope with getting lynched for feeding the ducks bread comment !!

it’s the lynching for pointing out that getting kids off screen for at least a portion of the day is worth parents effort - even if it is tough