Husband has completely ruined our weekend away

[Breezeopal]

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4).

DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home.

At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up.

Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!!

We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving.

We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening.

I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE KIDS IN YOUR OWN CAR?

How fucking dare he even begin to blame you for not wanting to drive.
It's entirely his fault nothing to do with you not being able to drive his big man car.
Fucking selfish bastard. Poor you and poor kids.

How pathetic and embarrassing!

At this point OP, you’re now as much to blame for ruining your children’s holiday as your husband.

Sounds like you deserve each other, but those poor children deserve much better parents.

No need to shout. Her car is too small and she's only been driving a year which is not long to take on a 3 hour trip with two small children.
How about condemning the arsehole husband.

You cleaned up his literal shit?

He gets so drunk he shit himself and you clean it up rather than either making him do it or throwing that nasty stuff away?

He sabotaged your vacation with his drinking to the point of spoiling himself.

You've been driving for a year now. There's no reason you can't safely drive on a trip except in your mind. You need to be capable and competent because your husband is unreliable.

Wtf how is it pathetic? she isn't insured and doesn't have the experience to do a long trip on her with two little ones. But yes crack on and blame op because her dh is shit.

I'da just got out of there through whatever means - bus, taxi, train, tiny car - just escape the ahole

Get some advanced and motorway driving lessons @Breezeopal stop being reliant on this arsehole.

I’m starting to think this post is not real and part of me would prefer it . But in case it is please please speak with someone who can support you . You need to get your confidence back and get rid of him before you perpetuate his behaviour on your own children ! He is a misogynt who knows he can abuse you and you are allowing it to happen and making go your children suffer in the process .

I am sorry you’re all so miserable but both of you parents need to step up to the plate for your children at least. Did H ever really want this holiday ???
You MUST start driving the ‘big car’ start in a large empty carpark!
But honestly the example you are setting to your children is pathetic (sorry if that sounds harsh but it’s the truth) as I said earlier it’s big girl pants time - you cannot allow your husband aka man-baby to dictate how you and your children live your lives.
You feel upset and guilty because you are guilty of letting them down …. make sure this is the last time!! FGS it’s 2025!!!!

I’m thinking the OP is on the wind up at this point. ‘Man car’ cinches it.

There is no such thing as a man car, it's a fucking car that any adult can drive 🙄
You may think that the comments are harsh but judging from your posts and situation, they need to be.
Poor kids.

Your husband has 100% been a dick but ffs stop being such a wet lettuce. Get in your car with whatever you can fit in and take your two kids away yourself!

You can fit a lot in a small car. You can put things at the children's feet, between them, in the passenger footwell... Take a small buggy and a sling if you really need them, you'll be fine. Go enjoy your trip, discover what life can be like without an adult child around making things difficult.

Sorry but I agree with the harsh posts. The kids don't need much luggage..its pretty hot out there. Pile into you car and go. What an utter waste.

This is another way alcoholics inflict mental and long lasting injury on to their DCs.

These tiny toddlers are being verbally abused and emotionally violated by a shit & vomit streaked piss-head.

This will have lasting consequences. The chaos, uncertainty and drama will leave thes little toddlers highly anxious. No wonder they were shrieking in the car after the last 48 hrs.

You have a choice now - do you continue to allow this abuse to be inflicted on your little babies - or do you choose a different childhood for them? Otherwise this is what lies ahead for them.....

https://adultchildren.org/

Take them away just you, you’ll have space in the front passenger seat to fit some stuff, and they’ll still be a little boot and on the floor where the car seats are. People manage with tiny cars, you can still fit some stuff in there, just pack the essentials!

I cant believe he said he must have been spiked as a way to absolve himself of any responsibility or guilt.
Just do your plan of fun days out . And dont rely on him in the future .

If this is really your life OP it’s a devastating shame that you are an active participant in your husband’s abuse of you and the children. Keep behaving this way and your life will be over before you know it.

@Breezeopal

a “man car”??! Soz OP, I’ve lost all respect for you.

So he's blamed his awful behaviour on someone else and now he wants to blame you as well. I see he's cancelled his leave from work and it makes me wonder if he ever wanted to go in the first place.

I think everyone is being really hard in you op in regards to the driving but please don't let him away with ruining this trip. He's now done it twice

It's not too small. There will only 3 of them going now. There is an extra seat to store stuff on. I absolutely condemn the arsehole she married but sometimes you have to step up and help yourself. This would be a good time to start.

YANBU to be disgusted by his behaviour. YABU to let your kids down by not finding a way to take them away (you could have reduced the packing and taken them in your car, or driven his).