Page 31 | Husband has completely ruined our weekend away

Breezeopal · 2025-08-09T08:06:57+00:00

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4). DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home. At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up. Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!! We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving. We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening. I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

NotARealWookiie · 10/08/2025 16:19

Immodium and paracetamol. Although I wouldn’t have wanted him driving in that state.

OP please get yourself some independence, I get that you are a new driver but build up your confidence and also use public transport. Don’t be dependent on a man. Or anyone. Problem solve and at the same time your kids will learn from you being fierce and independent, that they too can grow up to do anything.

oh and your mum doesn’t owe you an extra night away, he does. If he’s got money for beer, he’s got money for your kids.

Original poster

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

OP posts:

Moonnstars · 10/08/2025 16:33

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

Sorry but this very much sounds like he did this deliberately and was still looking for an excuse not to go.
Any car journey with kids is going to be hard work and he has caused this issue himself of feeling unwell (I doubt he was spiked, he is just making excuses).
I would seriously question your relationship as he has let you all down

KiwiFall · 10/08/2025 16:34

Sorry sounds like he got wasted on purpose and never really wanted to go away. He hoped you would go away with the kids without him. I would speak to him about this and find out if this is the case and why?

NJC7 · 10/08/2025 16:36

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ThatBlackCat · 10/08/2025 16:37

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

So he has dangled the carrot in front of them TWICE, and let them down TWICE. The fucking worthless pos! So he gets them all happy for a second time, puts them in the car, they're thinking they're finally going now, only to pull over and go all the way back? I'd have to hold myself back from bitchslapping the vile prick across the face!! They were already in the CAR, and he does that?!?? We would be OVER, and I'd be screaming that at him in the car on the way back.

You need to do something. He is destroying those childrens childhood and happiness. You need to sit him down and tell him a) you want him to pack a bag and leave the house now, tonight. b) he needs to get help for his alcohol problem because he is hurting his children, his family and it's not fair they're left crying and let down because of his inability to be a responsible father and put them first before his need for drink. And c) if he doesn't, it will spell the end of his marriage.

DO IT TONIGHT! Don't wait any longer!

Isthisit22 · 10/08/2025 16:41

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

Get back in the car and take your children on holiday for gods sake. You will feel so empowered (not like how I’d imagine you are feeling now) and you will send a powerful message to your kids- they are worthwhile and the most important thing.
At the moment, your kids think they are too much of a nuisance to deserve a holiday- shame on you both.

Original poster

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:43

Isthisit22 · 10/08/2025 16:41

Get back in the car and take your children on holiday for gods sake. You will feel so empowered (not like how I’d imagine you are feeling now) and you will send a powerful message to your kids- they are worthwhile and the most important thing.
At the moment, your kids think they are too much of a nuisance to deserve a holiday- shame on you both.

Show quote history

I can’t go in my car. My husbands car is huge, a ‘man’ car and I am not insured or comfortable driving it.

I am going to take earlier advice and make sure we have two great days to start the week more locally. He is cancelling his annual leave so will working tomorrow.

OP posts:

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/08/2025 16:43

Please don’t feel bad OP. You booked this trip reasonably relying on your husband to drive. He’s the one who’s sabotaged this trip. I doubt he was spiked. He just drank way more than he can handle.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 10/08/2025 16:44

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

I'm sorry it's turned out like this.

I do hope the scales are falling from your eyes where your husband is concerned. He sabotaged the whole thing, whether it was a conscious decision or not, he is sending a loud and clear message on what kind of parent and husband he is.

AppleSlag · 10/08/2025 16:45

@Breezeopal He’s a scumbag OP. Your poor kids.

Original poster

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:45

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/08/2025 16:43

Please don’t feel bad OP. You booked this trip reasonably relying on your husband to drive. He’s the one who’s sabotaged this trip. I doubt he was spiked. He just drank way more than he can handle.

Thank you. As of Friday I was all packed and so excited for a trip away with my little family and it’s all turned upside down since. I feel devastated.

OP posts:

Blueberry911 · 10/08/2025 16:45

You could have gone in your little car with the kids and their stuff, it sounds like you're making excuses and being a martyr, or you're just really used to his behaviour. Both are disappointing for the children.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 10/08/2025 16:46

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

In your shoes I would take the kids and go to my Mums….

ThisChirpyFox · 10/08/2025 16:47

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

OP wake up. The comments on here might sound harsh but are meant with good intentions.

You are literally not taking things in. The driving yourself was to set you free of this arse, to get some control back and show that you could do it. Did you even ask around friends or family if they would accompany you?

But the main issue is it seems like you are letting him walk all over you and the kids. Why is he having a go at you? Why are you accepting it? Why are you allowing him to do this in front of the kids?

If you had thrown the book at him when he ignored you, came back drunk, shat himself and ruined your holiday it would have shown that you didn't stand for this shit.

But somehow you ruined your mum's plans, went out to get him, cleaned up his vomit and shit, did not allow the kids to have their holiday as you couldn't face going on your own, have somehow believed his shit excuses, didn't mind when he tried to get rid of you and tell you to go along, still go with him and allow him to berate you on a car journey.

When are you going to wake up?

I'm not expecting a response because all of your other posts seems to bypass all the questions people are asking and ignoring how this is affecting the kids. Ask him to leave or go to your mum's and think about this man. Is he normally like this? Is he a good father? Does he show you respect? Are these one off incidents?

SpidersAreShitheads · 10/08/2025 16:47

Drive the kids in your car. You don’t need that much stuff for a couple of days. I had twins, I know there’s the temptation to think that you can’t do without everything you usually have but you can definitely get enough into even a tiny car for a couple of days.

The kids deserve to get away. And you need to prove to yourself that you can do this because his knows what the future holds with a man like this.

Ohnobackagain · 10/08/2025 16:48

@Breezeopal he is responsible not you. It is not because ‘you didn’t go on your own with the kids’. He did this. It is his fault. To be honest, why should he get a few days off? If I were you I’d be jumping in the car and leaving him to manage with the kids for a few days. Selfish, gas-lighting pig.

Ally886 · 10/08/2025 16:48

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:43

I can’t go in my car. My husbands car is huge, a ‘man’ car and I am not insured or comfortable driving it.

I am going to take earlier advice and make sure we have two great days to start the week more locally. He is cancelling his annual leave so will working tomorrow.

Show quote history

Can't believe there are still women perpetuating the narrative that women are weaker and less capable than men. Be a good mother to your children and take them on holiday. You are more capable than he is, you just need to reframe your (quite frankly appalling) attitude to women

MellowPinkDeer · 10/08/2025 16:49

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:31

So the trip is definitely cancelled, we eventually left at about 1pm but 40 minutes into the journey with one of the kids shrieking, my husband snapped and said he isn’t feeling up to it so turned around and took us all home. It was a horrible journey back, our children were crying, I was trying to hold it together but broke down in tears and he just kept saying I should have gone away by myself. I feel pretty useless right now reading the comments here about driving and he has compounded that with what he said.

Oh OP why are you such a wet blanket? Bloody hell women , pull yourself together! He’s an idiot and he wasn’t spiked. My husband had 10-12 pints Thursday night ( he can’t remember exactly) and got up at 5am for work the next morning. You both sound utterly pathetic!

Chazbots · 10/08/2025 16:50

I moved a henhouse and the hens in a Honda Jazz once, you can do anything.

And seriously, "man car", get a grip...

You're going to have to step up in confidence sometime as DH sounds a right arsehole and he'll leave you devastated again in the future. You get confident by doing, not sitting waiting on a prize prick to sort his life out.

Moonnstars · 10/08/2025 16:50

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:43

I can’t go in my car. My husbands car is huge, a ‘man’ car and I am not insured or comfortable driving it.

I am going to take earlier advice and make sure we have two great days to start the week more locally. He is cancelling his annual leave so will working tomorrow.

Show quote history

So he is now getting what he wants? He's avoided the family holiday and got to go out and get drunk with his mates and that is ok.

Why is he cancelling leave? Why can't he go on family days out?

Sorry @Breezeopal but what does he actually contribute to the lives of you and the kids

Isthisit22 · 10/08/2025 16:51

Breezeopal · 10/08/2025 16:43

I can’t go in my car. My husbands car is huge, a ‘man’ car and I am not insured or comfortable driving it.

I am going to take earlier advice and make sure we have two great days to start the week more locally. He is cancelling his annual leave so will working tomorrow.

Show quote history

A ‘man’ car - are you joking?
there are only 3 of you now- take your ‘woman’ car

Tagyoureit · 10/08/2025 16:52

Sorry about your trip but I understand not wanting to go away with 2 small kids on your own. I'd rather chuck the paddling pool in the garden than wrestle with 2 kids away.

Your DH needs to do some serious work to make this up to you, what that is, you can decided, if thats what you want. Not only has really spoilt this weekend, he's wasted a lot of time, money and effort.

I can also assure you, from his symptoms, he wasn't spiked, he just got really shitfaced on dodgy cider!

One thing I will say is, learn to become more independent and braver, learn to use the bigger car, not just because your dh is a twat but for yourself.

MellowPinkDeer · 10/08/2025 16:53

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PinkyFlamingo · 10/08/2025 16:53

You haven't addressed all the posters concerns you are pandering to him and sending the completely wrong message to your children!