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Original poster

Husband has completely ruined our weekend away

1000 replies

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:06

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4).

DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home.

At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up.

Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!!

We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving.

We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening.

I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

OP posts:
MJ1980 · 09/08/2025 18:59

So what was the conclusion op? Did he wake up and apologise? Did you go on holiday?

5128gap · 09/08/2025 19:01

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 09/08/2025 16:15

What a pair you are! He can’t hold his drink and you can’t drive a ‘big’ car or fathom a 2 hour journey on your own. Maybe it’s best just to forget about it and try again when you’ve both grown up a bit.

Knowing that your inexperience and nervousness means you may be unsafe to drive your children is actually a very adult thing. If only more drivers stopped to consider their competence and confidence in their vehicle the roads would be a lot safer. Ridiculous to put this in the same category as the husband's behaviour.

northernballer · 09/08/2025 19:03

Do people actually shit themselves when drunk? I have never known this to happen to anyone and I'm 47 and had some big nights out in my time.

justanotherdrama · 09/08/2025 19:05

Never mind going without him

more to the point why on earth do you want to be with someone like that, think of yourself and your kids and get rid of this waste of space. I’d be mortified if I had to call my mum aswell in those circumstances.

is this really the sort of behaviour that sets a good example to children??

Supergirl1958 · 09/08/2025 19:06

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:06

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4).

DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home.

At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up.

Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!!

We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving.

We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening.

I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

I’d have gone without him OP

PennywisePoundFoolish · 09/08/2025 19:12

I hope you manage to salvage the break somehow. I would really struggle to get past this, he knew he was meant to be driving the next morning, so the excuse offered about the strong ale would fall flat for me. He decided to get wasted which is just so selfish. Even if he wasn't driving, he'd have been feeling grotty when you're setting off on a family break together. I'd have gone without him, but I appreciate you're too nervous. Do look into upping your confidence/looking at a family car you feel more comfortable with.

Plastictreees · 09/08/2025 19:13

northernballer · 09/08/2025 19:03

Do people actually shit themselves when drunk? I have never known this to happen to anyone and I'm 47 and had some big nights out in my time.

I’ve only heard of this happening on MN! Although I guess it’s not something people would be keen to broadcast in real life…

MrsWeasley · 09/08/2025 19:16

Ask you mum if she wants to go. Or just go alone with DCs.

Iceandfire92 · 09/08/2025 19:17

How do all of these husbands on Mumsnet end up getting so wankered that they piss/shit themselves? I've never encountered anyone who has done this in real life!

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 09/08/2025 19:17

Is this a regular thing for him??

Yep, I would be furious too. I note what you say about the car and driving issues, but could you get a train?

OchreSnail · 09/08/2025 19:23

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:09

His car is the only one big enough to fit all our belongings and I can’t drive it, that’s the problem. Otherwise I would have already left.

Realistically he won’t be fit to drive until this afternoon at the earliest so that’s our first day of a short break wasted

Can't you take less stuff and go anyway? I feel I'd like to be out of the house

Climbingrosexx · 09/08/2025 19:23

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 09/08/2025 16:15

What a pair you are! He can’t hold his drink and you can’t drive a ‘big’ car or fathom a 2 hour journey on your own. Maybe it’s best just to forget about it and try again when you’ve both grown up a bit.

What a horrible comment, depending on how big the car is I may prefer not to drive it and wouldn't fancy a 2hr unfamiliar journey. Fortunately I have other qualities which my dh can see and he doesn't mind driving. Geez why would anyone post a problem on here with so much vitriol from people.

HappyandStrong · 09/08/2025 19:38

So sorry to hear this, OP. How selfish of him.

Challenger2A7 · 09/08/2025 19:39

Sorry, but he's disgusting and he just doesn't want to be with you and the children, he knew exactly what he was doing. I agree with the other comments on here, divorce this useless article, behaviour like that will only get worse and worse.

usedtobeaylis · 09/08/2025 19:43

Eastie77Returns · 09/08/2025 16:22

Haven’t read the whole thread but OP’s opener is the reason I will literally throw a party if DD is a Lesbian.

I must have read variations of this post 100 times on MN over the years: a ‘D’H goes out and gets horrifically drunk, shits, pisses and vomits over the house and OP is sat at home wringing her hands and not knowing what to do next.

The script is always the same: there are always young DC involved and the DH’s incapacitated state conveniently means he cannot take part in a planned family day or look after the DC.

I feel the same about my daughter, the thought of her being saddled with one of these types of men is grim. Her dad is the best man I've ever known so she should have a high-ish bar but still... 45 years and most of them aren't worth the hassle. The hit rate is poor. No more men for me.

ladyinwaiting99 · 09/08/2025 19:46

I’m shocked by the amount of posters who think that the solution to this is that Op goes alone with the kids whilst leaving dh home alone to sleep it off.

So Op does all the packing, driving, and childcare for the weekend (not to mention rescuing her useless man child and cleaning up after him) whilst he gets to lie around an empty house feeling sorry for himself and ducking out of all responsibilities for a weekend…how is that fair?

presumably you have made a decision by this point Op but in the longer term I’d be having a very serious conversation about stopping drinking if he is this out of control with it.

ThreenagerCentral · 09/08/2025 19:54

I wouldn’t go without him as it’s too much hard work with two small kids. So leave the kids with him and go out for the day while he enjoys his hangover with toddlers. Then reassess.

Chorusgirl · 09/08/2025 19:57

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 10:42

Thanks for the suggestions, I have considered driving myself but I’m just not comfortable looking at how a 2 hour journey is currently showing nearer 3 with traffic/road closures. It’s an unfamiliar route and I’ll have two kids in the back.

I am going to take them out for the morning so husband can have some peace and get himself sorted out without the usual chaos, and I can then review again after lunch.

He said he was so ill because in addition to the empty stomach there was a beer festival and the ale/cider he was drinking was really high % and he under estimated the strength of it.

He gots himself into that much of a state and he gets to have “peace” without the usual morning chaos of kids and family life?? Absolutely not you’re being far too considerate of him! His fault, his mess, he gets to clean it up and deal with the consequences, including repairing his relationship with you, not you tiptoeing around his hangover. As we say up in these parts “Get him telt!”

WhatdoesitmeanKeith · 09/08/2025 20:02

ThreenagerCentral · 09/08/2025 19:54

I wouldn’t go without him as it’s too much hard work with two small kids. So leave the kids with him and go out for the day while he enjoys his hangover with toddlers. Then reassess.

Not a chance I’d leave children with him. He sounds useless and incapable.

DreamTheMoors · 09/08/2025 20:06

Screamingabdabz · 09/08/2025 16:47

I was totally with you until you said you’d take the kids out and let him have ‘peace’. Omg. Wake up op. Advocate for yourself instead of facilitating some selfish fuck who has ruined the weekend for all of you.

It would infuriate me.
I’d be walking through the house slamming doors, I’d be having the kids bang on pots & pans, I’d be blaring the tv & stereo and radio AND having karaoke with my kids at full volume. I’d be having a screaming contest and seeing who could bang the pots together the loudest.
All at the foot of his bed.
On repeat, all day and night.
If we were forced to stay home.
Reap the whirlwind, you hungover disgusting bastard.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 09/08/2025 20:08

I would have gone without my DH, because I'd want my DC to have the shortbreak as planned and for them not lose out because their dad was a selfish knobhead.

He'd be far too hungover for me to trust him with 2 young children. They shouldn't be used to get back at their dad and be in a hostile environment with adults settling scores.

I wouldn't be letting it go; just parked until I got back and someone could take the DC whilst I laid my cards down about our future together. Or possibly co-parenting, if he tried to minimise what he'd done.

Welikebeingcosy · 09/08/2025 20:09

BySassyGreenPanda · 09/08/2025 18:21

Till death us do shart....

Show quote history

For richer, for poo-er.

Blogswife · 09/08/2025 20:13

That’s utterly disgusting and so selfish & inconsiderate. I don’t think I could look at him the same ever again let alone go on holiday with him !
Wait until he sobers up then tell him to F@ck off.

jbm16 · 09/08/2025 20:18

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:09

His car is the only one big enough to fit all our belongings and I can’t drive it, that’s the problem. Otherwise I would have already left.

Realistically he won’t be fit to drive until this afternoon at the earliest so that’s our first day of a short break wasted

Get temporary insurance and go without him, he can get the train etc. once he's sobered up.

jbm16 · 09/08/2025 20:24

Quite a few over the top comments on here, depends if it was a one off or regular occurrence.

I would have gone without him.

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