Husband has completely ruined our weekend away

[Breezeopal]

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4).

DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home.

At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up.

Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!!

We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving.

We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening.

I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

As a timid driver myself I understand better than most that you want to stay in your driving comfort zone.
I realise you have taken the children on a day trip today but how about staying in a Premier Inn for a night with the children. It will be an adventure for them, you won't need much luggage and can stay at one within your comfort zone.

As for your husband's excuses, I smell manshit, he is talking out of his arse as well as shitting out of it.

Once men start on this selfish behaviour they rarely change for the better.

Best of luck.

He wasn't aware that one pint of cask ale at between 7 and 9% will floor you? He's not serious about his beer, is he? Knows nothing about it. Someone with sense and experience wouldn't touch such stuff if drinking more than one pint. That's what 'session ales' are for - being about 3.4% ABV. Is he a manchild, this father of your DC? Needs to grow up.
Take the DC in your car. It will be fine - a two hour drive can be split at a cafe etc. He can join you if he wants. Silly bugger. Don't let him out again - that's if you are still contemplating sharing the marriage bed with this nimcompooper.

I know another poster has mentioned divorce with one person saying that was a bit much but I’d have serious ick if my DH soiled himself as a result of too much to drink.

I think I would seriously consider ending the relationship as a result. Yuck. Ick. I couldn’t ever imagine being intimate with him again. Ugh.

can you take less stuff and go in your car?

Seeing my husband in that state would really turn my stomach. I can’t imagine wanting to have sex with him ever again

🤣🤣🤣🤣 give him peace to himself after that performance. You first went wrong by collecting him. Then by giving him some peace. He's the one who got blind drunk and shit himself, dealing with 2 children when hungover serves him right

I always wonder what makes a woman choose to spend their life and have children with such a foul excuse of a man.

OK I accept maybe picking him up is a safety issue. But why wash his clothes for him? Leave him in his own shit until the morning and let him wash his own faeces. You telling me that's something a spouse should do? Any why take the kids out to give him peace?

I've had a few nights out since I've been a mother and, while I have never gotten myself in a state, I have definitely had to get up at 6am with a hangover, put on a happy face for my kid and got on with it (while silently regretting last night's choices).

everyone’s gotten too drunk i’ve been sick on myself before, it happens.

however shitting yourself, christ

i couldn’t get past that

She could have told his mates no, I'm not coming, he's your responsibility. What if her mum wasn't available at short notice? Put 2 small kids in the car to witness their dad being drunk and covered in vomit?

I've wasted a few nights in my youth figuring out how to take extremely drunk friends home safely. And my DH has definitely been brought home by friends on a couple of occasions.

You first went wrong by collecting him

I'm wondering why his friends couldn't have taken care of him - let him stay at their place, lend him a change of clothes etc. - especially as they're party to this tomfoolery. Oh, yeah, there was a woman to clean up...or two if we include your mum.

I was totally with you until you said you’d take the kids out and let him have ‘peace’. Omg. Wake up op. Advocate for yourself instead of facilitating some selfish fuck who has ruined the weekend for all of you.

OP I imagine you've not come back to post because it wasn't going the way you wanted it to.

I'd like to share one of my holiday memories with you, I was probably about aged 10-12. It was the time of a football world Cup or something. My dad spent the entire time watching the games in the caravan, even the obscure games. Didn't talk to us, didn't want to be with us and my mum ended up taking us out each day without him. I don't remember what we actually did on that holiday but only how my dad behaved. My point is kids remember this kind of stuff. Do not allow your DPs actions to cloud your childrens memories of family times. My mum must have really struggled in keeping it normal for us and trying to give us our bi yearly holiday (that's she'd spent all that time saving for). Your DPs actions are his problem, you can square it off with him later but sometimes you've got to put yourself in uncomfortable situations in life. Appreciate you aren't comfortable with driving but take regular breaks, keep the kids hydrated and fed. The worst thing that'll happen is you might have to put your head in your hands at a service station and silently scream at the 100th time of "mummy look a big yellow lorry".

Go and make memories with your DC OP.

This. How absolutely repulsive that an adult could behave like this! He has no respect for himself, let alone you and the kids! I couldn’t get past a grown man shitting himself due to alcohol…! How putrid. I hope he cleans your car and his clothes!

Get rid before the kids have any idea what a vile loser their father is. I feel sick just reading this - why do women put up with it?!

I'd be going without him. Not even kidding. Why should you and the kids miss out?
Fuck that.
Can you get there without him?

Just seen your updates, sorry - I really hope you did take yourself and the kids off somewhere and enjoyed yourselves.
I hope you're still there as well, make a day of it, go out for tea/supper as well, don't be there when he hopefully sobers up and reflects.
Make him stew a bit.

What was she "supposed" to do? Nothing. He's an adult. It's not her responsibility. What would he have done if he weren't married and didn't have the convenience of a wife who is happy to mop up his messes (literally)? Presumably he'd have had to find a way to clean himself up enough to be allowed into a taxi, find a local friend to stay with, or get walking. Not OP's job to find a solution to this revolting situation that he put himself in.

God, some women really do set a low bar for the men they choose to live with.

I don’t think I’d want him to drive a 2 hour journey whilst he’s not fully recovered from his excessive drinking.
He’s not going to feel his best, even later today. I wouldn’t want to risk it, especially with the children in the back.

"in shitness and in health"

Totally agree with this . Disgusting behaviour which the OP has condoned by picking him up , washing his soiled clothing and then going out this morning to ‘let him have some peace ‘ . Must be desperate .

I have never got so drunk I’ve thrown up, ever. I don’t think it’s necessary. I hate drinking and I hate drunks. I always have. It’s why if DH got in the state that @Breezeopal DH did, we’d no longer be married.

At some point during the night OP's DH said, "Fuck it" regarding plans with his family. He chose getting so drunk that he puked all over himself and shat himself. Lovely.

He chose that over his wife and kids.

You win the Internet today, Mr Dude Sir.

I dunno, depends on what his relationship with alcohol is usually like? I know I used to go out just intending to have a few, but once you're out you don't know when to stop and think "just a few more" then the next thing you know you feel like shit the next morning.
It's not necessarily intentional.