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Original poster

Husband has completely ruined our weekend away

1000 replies

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:06

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4).

DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home.

At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up.

Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!!

We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving.

We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening.

I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn22 · 09/08/2025 13:43

kids and luggage in car and off you go. leave him in his filth

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:43

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:38

The chest thumping is ridiculous on this thread, OP. Ignore. Most of the self proclaimed “strong women” on this thread are too afraid to answer their doors without prior appointment.

Your husband’s session will become the stuff of family legend in a few years.

Afraid to answer the door? What on earth are you talking about?

Some of us do not want our lives to look like an episode of Shameless.

Shambles123 · 09/08/2025 13:44

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:29

His friends were all getting taxi’s too. I don’t think a hotel would have taken him either. I’ve known him nearly a decade and that’s the worst I’ve seen him.

It was gone midnight by the time I got to sleep myself, I threw everything straight in the wash which isn’t an experience I’d repeat in a hurry.

Show quote history

I would have binned it all!

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:44

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:43

Afraid to answer the door? What on earth are you talking about?

Some of us do not want our lives to look like an episode of Shameless.

Edited
Show quote history

lol. Yes. Most mumsnetters chest thump but also can’t hear the door bell go without doom spiralling

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 09/08/2025 13:46

Arraminta · 09/08/2025 12:32

I think people are forgetting that her DH will have married the OP precisely because she is the type to meekly inconvenience herself, their DCs and others (her poor Mum) in order to not inconvenience her DH.

She meekly rolled out of bed to be his taxi. Meekly cleaned him all up. Meekly washed his clothes. And has now meekly taken their DCs out so her DH can rest in peace and get himself together, in his own good time.

It's absolutely no coincidence, either, that the OP has only recently learned to drive and is (surprise surprise) a nervous, timid driver.

Her DH knows exactly who he is married to. He knows there will be exactly zero consequences for his vile behaviour. If the OP was the feisty type, who stood her ground and had boundaries, he simply wouldn't have married her.

No doubt, versions of this horrible incident will have happened before and will continue to happen again and again for the next 50 years.

But it's unfair to criticise the OP for, what is, essentially just her natural personality. It's not wrong to be gentle and non confrontational, after all. It's just a tragedy that her DH happily abuses her for it, rather than cherishes her for it.

It’s also a shame that OP can’t grow a pair and that her kids will have to grow up around this sort of behaviour.

This won’t be the first or last time.

It’s pathetic.

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:50

The reaction on here is pathetic - all this chest thumping because OPs husband went on a little bender one time. it happens. Lighten up people.

Allseeingallknowing · 09/08/2025 13:52

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:50

The reaction on here is pathetic - all this chest thumping because OPs husband went on a little bender one time. it happens. Lighten up people.

Little bender? He’s a selfish , filthy git!

DyslexicPoster · 09/08/2025 13:53

I never understand these posts about pooping yourself when pissed. I have been paralytic before and couldn't stand up at uni ( not my finest moment) but I've never even wet myself. I could drink two bottles of wine and a few cocktails and not be sick. How pissed can you possibly get? I think I got closer to killing myself than pooping myself. My liver would give out before my pelvic floor.

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:54

Allseeingallknowing · 09/08/2025 13:52

Little bender? He’s a selfish , filthy git!

Show quote history

Give over. Man goes over the mark on the beers once and sharts. Hardly the crime of the century.

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:55

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:50

The reaction on here is pathetic - all this chest thumping because OPs husband went on a little bender one time. it happens. Lighten up people.

You have to be extremely grotty if getting so drunk that you shit yourself "happens". It really doesn't happen to normal people.

PringlesTube · 09/08/2025 13:55

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:50

The reaction on here is pathetic - all this chest thumping because OPs husband went on a little bender one time. it happens. Lighten up people.

Do you shit yourself often?

Gettingbysomehow · 09/08/2025 13:55

Allseeingallknowing · 09/08/2025 13:14

I’d have binned them!

Show quote history

Absolutely, no way on this earth I'd be emptying poo out of a grown man's pants. It would have made me vomit.

BuckChuckets · 09/08/2025 13:56

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:50

The reaction on here is pathetic - all this chest thumping because OPs husband went on a little bender one time. it happens. Lighten up people.

Did you miss the part where he shat himself? If that's what constitutes an acceptable night out for you, I'd maybe suggest getting yourself checked out.

5128gap · 09/08/2025 13:57

MyLimeGuide · 09/08/2025 09:16

He must have some serious issues and be pretty miserable to get in that state, poor guy.

Well so what? Most of us have, or have had, 'serious issues' and been 'pretty miserable'. It's part of life unfortunately. However this isn't a thread to feel sorry for a random man who may or may not be a 'poor guy'. It's a thread to support a woman who has 'serious issues' and is 'pretty miserable' as a result of the behaviour of that man. Whatever reason you can imagine to feel sorry for him isnt going to be the fault of the woman running round trying to put things right, or the two children he's supposed to be parenting. So not sure why you think sympathy should be centred on him.

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:57

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:44

lol. Yes. Most mumsnetters chest thump but also can’t hear the door bell go without doom spiralling

Show quote history

Why do you keep saying "chest thump"?

MJ1980 · 09/08/2025 13:57

I think @Stellargh is either ops husband or one of his mates 😆

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:58

Gettingbysomehow · 09/08/2025 13:55

Absolutely, no way on this earth I'd be emptying poo out of a grown man's pants. It would have made me vomit.

Show quote history

I'd have put them in his car.

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:59

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:55

You have to be extremely grotty if getting so drunk that you shit yourself "happens". It really doesn't happen to normal people.

Show quote history

It’s called having a fun loving attitude to life and not being afraid of fun. I’ve never shat myself but I’ve fell asleep on the stairs etc. this is simply something I would not get bent out of shape about

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 14:01

MJ1980 · 09/08/2025 13:57

I think @Stellargh is either ops husband or one of his mates 😆

I reckon either a really bored person trolling or, like OP's wondered husband, another individual who likes to get drunk and shit themselves.

5128gap · 09/08/2025 14:01

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:50

The reaction on here is pathetic - all this chest thumping because OPs husband went on a little bender one time. it happens. Lighten up people.

Why? What possible benefit would it be to OP to 'lighten up' over this type of behaviour? If you have a partner who does this and you are fine with it, what particular joy does happily cleaning up after a drunk bring to your life that means you're recommending it to others?

Nevereatcardboard · 09/08/2025 14:02

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:59

It’s called having a fun loving attitude to life and not being afraid of fun. I’ve never shat myself but I’ve fell asleep on the stairs etc. this is simply something I would not get bent out of shape about

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What’s fun about causing your partner so much inconvenience, upset and revulsion? I’m another one who would be considering divorce after this.

Kitte321 · 09/08/2025 14:02

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:54

Give over. Man goes over the mark on the beers once and sharts. Hardly the crime of the century.

Show quote history

Wow. You must have low standards. A husband who is so drunk he is sick and then shits himself would not be my husband for long.

AppleSlag · 09/08/2025 14:03

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:54

Give over. Man goes over the mark on the beers once and sharts. Hardly the crime of the century.

Show quote history

Are you a “one of the lads” kinda girl, or just a bloke with a drink problem who thinks it’s not so bad because you drink less than your pisshead mate?

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 09/08/2025 14:03

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:29

His friends were all getting taxi’s too. I don’t think a hotel would have taken him either. I’ve known him nearly a decade and that’s the worst I’ve seen him.

It was gone midnight by the time I got to sleep myself, I threw everything straight in the wash which isn’t an experience I’d repeat in a hurry.

Show quote history

I'd have thrown it in a binbag and put it at the bottom of the garden for him to deal with when he feels up to it.

And if he doesn't, put it out with next week's rubbish.

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 14:05

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