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Original poster

Husband has completely ruined our weekend away

1000 replies

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:06

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4).

DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home.

At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up.

Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!!

We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving.

We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening.

I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

OP posts:
Sugargliderwombat · 09/08/2025 13:10

Urgh. I wouldn't be going away with this twat. I wouldn't have washed his shitty clothes either though.

disappointedconfused · 09/08/2025 13:11

You’ve gone out “to give him some peace” seriously 😧 get a grip. Gets the kids banging saucepans with wooden spoons and tell him to get his backside out of bed wash his own shitty clothes and then leave without him

Newmum1998 · 09/08/2025 13:11

Arraminta · 09/08/2025 12:32

I think people are forgetting that her DH will have married the OP precisely because she is the type to meekly inconvenience herself, their DCs and others (her poor Mum) in order to not inconvenience her DH.

She meekly rolled out of bed to be his taxi. Meekly cleaned him all up. Meekly washed his clothes. And has now meekly taken their DCs out so her DH can rest in peace and get himself together, in his own good time.

It's absolutely no coincidence, either, that the OP has only recently learned to drive and is (surprise surprise) a nervous, timid driver.

Her DH knows exactly who he is married to. He knows there will be exactly zero consequences for his vile behaviour. If the OP was the feisty type, who stood her ground and had boundaries, he simply wouldn't have married her.

No doubt, versions of this horrible incident will have happened before and will continue to happen again and again for the next 50 years.

But it's unfair to criticise the OP for, what is, essentially just her natural personality. It's not wrong to be gentle and non confrontational, after all. It's just a tragedy that her DH happily abuses her for it, rather than cherishes her for it.

Couldn’t have said it any better.

Newmum1998 · 09/08/2025 13:11

disappointedconfused · 09/08/2025 13:11

You’ve gone out “to give him some peace” seriously 😧 get a grip. Gets the kids banging saucepans with wooden spoons and tell him to get his backside out of bed wash his own shitty clothes and then leave without him

My exact thoughts

Sugargliderwombat · 09/08/2025 13:11

Arraminta · 09/08/2025 12:32

I think people are forgetting that her DH will have married the OP precisely because she is the type to meekly inconvenience herself, their DCs and others (her poor Mum) in order to not inconvenience her DH.

She meekly rolled out of bed to be his taxi. Meekly cleaned him all up. Meekly washed his clothes. And has now meekly taken their DCs out so her DH can rest in peace and get himself together, in his own good time.

It's absolutely no coincidence, either, that the OP has only recently learned to drive and is (surprise surprise) a nervous, timid driver.

Her DH knows exactly who he is married to. He knows there will be exactly zero consequences for his vile behaviour. If the OP was the feisty type, who stood her ground and had boundaries, he simply wouldn't have married her.

No doubt, versions of this horrible incident will have happened before and will continue to happen again and again for the next 50 years.

But it's unfair to criticise the OP for, what is, essentially just her natural personality. It's not wrong to be gentle and non confrontational, after all. It's just a tragedy that her DH happily abuses her for it, rather than cherishes her for it.

I couldn't agree with this more and I expect it will be painful reading for you, OP but you should read it.

Allseeingallknowing · 09/08/2025 13:14

okydokethen · 09/08/2025 13:00

You washed his clothes? Good grief he’s got it easy with you

I’d have binned them!

Burntout01 · 09/08/2025 13:17

MyLimeGuide · 09/08/2025 09:16

He must have some serious issues and be pretty miserable to get in that state, poor guy.

Not everyone who drinks to excess has mental health or life problems.

Somet people just make stupid, selfish decisions.

Jollyhockeystickss · 09/08/2025 13:20

And this is why im single, he would not have got back in the house and i wouldnt have picked him up...he will be well over the limit to drive ,

ClearFruit · 09/08/2025 13:20

I would divorce a man who did this. Raise your standards, for your children's sake.

noctilucentcloud · 09/08/2025 13:22

OP please don't let him drive today, he'll still be over the limit. Don't put you, your children and other road users at risk.

Middlechild3 · 09/08/2025 13:24

HoskinsChoice · 09/08/2025 09:10

Divorce because he got drunk?

Show quote history

he soiled himself. Only an adult with a serious drink or behavioral problem gets to that state so yes uts a relationship killer.

Gottogetoutofthisplace · 09/08/2025 13:26

The low standards that women have for themselves are so fucking depressing.

momtoboys · 09/08/2025 13:27

I would go by myself and leave him to take care of the kids in his loop. That will teach him. And what of all these men filling their trousers??

JustSawJohnny · 09/08/2025 13:28

He said he was so ill because in addition to the empty stomach there was a beer festival and the ale/cider he was drinking was really high % and he under estimated the strength of it.

There are NO excuses for him behaving like a teenager, OP.

You know it and he knows it.

You need to really rub it in with him that he disgusted you, being covered in vomit and shit, and that your Mum saw him in that state. Plus he's let his kids down.

If you don't shame him he'll do it again.

Nothing worse than 'men' with immature twats for mates. They egg each other on.

JustSawJohnny · 09/08/2025 13:29

disappointedconfused · 09/08/2025 13:11

You’ve gone out “to give him some peace” seriously 😧 get a grip. Gets the kids banging saucepans with wooden spoons and tell him to get his backside out of bed wash his own shitty clothes and then leave without him

All a bit door-matty, isn't it?

Snugs10 · 09/08/2025 13:30

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 09:09

His car is the only one big enough to fit all our belongings and I can’t drive it, that’s the problem. Otherwise I would have already left.

Realistically he won’t be fit to drive until this afternoon at the earliest so that’s our first day of a short break wasted

Can't you get temporary insurance on the vehicle

LakieLady · 09/08/2025 13:34

Snugs10 · 09/08/2025 13:30

Can't you get temporary insurance on the vehicle

Show quote history

This.

If you're not on his insurance, OP, add his car to your policy.

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:37

HoskinsChoice · 09/08/2025 09:10

Divorce because he got drunk?

Show quote history

"getting drunk" for most people just involves having a few too many at a party and a sore head in the morning. It does not involve going AWOL and leaving your wife and kids in the lurch, deliberately sabotaging a family holiday, vomiting all over your clothes and then shitting yourself.

If you think that any of that is remotely normal or just part and parcel of "getting drunk" then you have a serious problem. I'll assume you're a mother, since that's the majority demographic on this website. I can think of 3 mothers I've had the misfortune of knowing who would have thought this behaviour was acceptable or normal. None of them are the sort of people anyone sensible would take advice from. One of them ended up having her children removed permanently.

lunar1 · 09/08/2025 13:37

Going out with the children to give your revolting husband some peace just set feminism back about 80 years 🤢

Burntout01 · 09/08/2025 13:38

OP it may surprise you but you were not obligated to collect your husband last night and certainly not to wash his soiled clothes.
Once, many many years ago my husband made a similar very poor decision, in his case against the background of significant mental health issues. He also soiled himself and
He ended up in hospital.
Did I collect him the next day? No, I did not. I also had two young kids who needed looking after. He sorted out a taxi in his hospital gown and made the 20 mike trek home under own steam.
After that, I gave him an ultimatum that if anything like that ever happened again, our marriage would be over, and I meant it.
It never happened again.

Stellargh · 09/08/2025 13:38

The chest thumping is ridiculous on this thread, OP. Ignore. Most of the self proclaimed “strong women” on this thread are too afraid to answer their doors without prior appointment.

Your husband’s session will become the stuff of family legend in a few years.

Mildmanneredmum · 09/08/2025 13:39

Pippa12 · 09/08/2025 09:20

I would 100% streamline what I’d packed, utilise the front seat and go. Do not rely on your DH. He’s shown absolutely no consideration for you, but most importantly your children.

If your DH wants to get rip roaring drunk that’s on him, but don’t allow him to shit in your car and then wait patiently till he feels up to going on holiday! What a joker!

Agreed. He's not going to get over this until tomorrow.

Fargo79 · 09/08/2025 13:41

Breezeopal · 09/08/2025 10:42

Thanks for the suggestions, I have considered driving myself but I’m just not comfortable looking at how a 2 hour journey is currently showing nearer 3 with traffic/road closures. It’s an unfamiliar route and I’ll have two kids in the back.

I am going to take them out for the morning so husband can have some peace and get himself sorted out without the usual chaos, and I can then review again after lunch.

He said he was so ill because in addition to the empty stomach there was a beer festival and the ale/cider he was drinking was really high % and he under estimated the strength of it.

Bloody hell OP. So you've given him a lovely child-free lie-in and washed his shitty, pukey clothes for him? If you behave like a doormat you're likely to be walked all over forevermore. Consider the example you're setting for your children and whether you'd be happy for them to be on the receiving end of a man like your husband, or for them to treat their family this way.

Llamasarellovely · 09/08/2025 13:41

Good Lord, get some advanced driving lessons and give your head a wobble. How can grown women leave themselves so vulnerable they can't even drive the bloody car 2 hours but have to wait for the big strong drunken selfish fuckwit to wake up and sober up.

Nevereatcardboard · 09/08/2025 13:43

Why are you embarrassed @Breezeopal? This is your husbands shame, not yours.

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