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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mortified by DH’s behaviour in Asda

547 replies

EllyRoff · 09/08/2025 09:01

Went to Asda yesterday afternoon - ours has a pharmacist in there and DH needed some Laxido so we went across. The woman serving said they didn’t have laxido but they did have movicol which is the same thing with a different name. DH asked her if the ingredients is exactly the same as he has to be very careful with what he takes (true) so she went off to check with the pharmacist. Whilst she was gone DH was looking around him all anxiously and then as she reemerged she walked over to him smiling - he promptly sticks two fingers up at her and then runs off!!! Leaving me stood there like an absolute clown. I was mortified, apologised profoundly to her and walked away. Later caught up with DH who had simply gone back to shopping in Asda as if nothing had happened. His excuse was that he was scared to take something different but was feeling pressured and didn’t know what to do so legged it. I asked why on earth he swore at her and he said he “just panicked”. I’m still furious, my mum thinks I’m over-reacting a bit but DH can do no wrong in her eyes. Am I over-reacting??!

OP posts:
T1Dmama · 10/08/2025 11:53

OlivePeer · 10/08/2025 11:28

I still wouldn't consider it to hold the same force as being verbally sworn at, or describe it that way. And if it's flicking the Vs, that gesture's so absurd and retro that it just wouldn't have the force of being told to fuck off.

Maybe it depends where you live, where I am it still very much means F off / F U… like a passive way of being aggressive. It’s only less offensive because no one else hears - just as offensive to the person it’s directed at

T1Dmama · 10/08/2025 11:54

And don’t worry about the person taking over the thread….
t his many pages in and people only read your comments anyway

MyLimeGuide · 10/08/2025 11:57

crumblingschools · 10/08/2025 10:47

@MyLimeGuide have you read all the posts of that particular poster, they genuinely want people to be more like the DH

Ah OK, no i haven't i was just responding to that one post, I thought he was taking the piss!

Hopingtobeaparent · 10/08/2025 12:47

Screamingabdabz · 09/08/2025 09:06

Are you joking? He basically abused a shop worker like a pathetic naughty 10 year old. He should be ashamed and like a child, be made to go back and apologise.

Oh this! 😂 Please tell us, OP, if you make him!

roundtable · 10/08/2025 12:53

I'd be mortified op. Yanbu.

You mentioned he would do stuff like this drunk...secret drinking perhaps?

Really odd behaviour.

mondaytosunday · 10/08/2025 13:40

@XDownwiththissortofthingX he didn’t act ‘like a clown’. He was rude. Autistic or not can you not see the difference? Plus there are appropriate places to act a fool, and this wasn’t one of them.
To say someone who treats a professional with respect is ‘walking around with a massive stick up their arse’ is a fundamental misunderstanding of acceptable behaviour. It seems you think anything goes - if that were the case the world would be in chaos. There are societal norms so the world can function. There is a reasonable tolerance within these norms. But there is a line and he crossed it.

MoonWoman69 · 10/08/2025 14:00

@XDownwiththissortofthingX
I seriously think you need to get a grip!
There's a time and a place for "hilarity" (I use the term loosely, as this isn't in the least bit hilarious) certainly not at a chemists!

I would never set foot out with him again to be honest! Bizarre bloke!

bumbaloo · 10/08/2025 17:20

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 09/08/2025 11:13

Pardon?

I'm not attempting to "intellectualise" anything. Bizarre behaviour interests and amuses me, hence why I'm all for more of it. It isn't any more profound than that.

Even you have to admit all bizarre behaviour isn’t for your amusement.

psychopathy can result in fucking weird behaviour. It’s not entertaining.

GentleJadeOP · 10/08/2025 17:29

I would be absolutely fuming. Could it be the embarrassment of constipation made him act so crass?

BrendaSmall · 10/08/2025 20:04

FlayOtters · 09/08/2025 22:12

erm.... what on earth are you on about? Of course that is what it means!
are you just being deliberately obtuse?

🤣🤣
spose it depends where you live, we’ve always used it as up yours!
Middle finger as fuck off!!

Tossingturning · 10/08/2025 23:29

It is quite a comical story to me.

I obviously hope the lady on receiving end didn't feel "abused" though,in the way it has been suggested she might.

Also hope you get to the bottom of what's going on...

Weepixie · 11/08/2025 06:55

BunnyLake · 09/08/2025 18:03

On a bad day if a grown man stuck his two fingers up at me it would really upset me and put a cloud over my day. On a good day I would think they were either ill or an ignorant fool and I’d just be thankful it’s not me they’re going home to.

Either way I just wouldn’t find it funny. I hate anti social behaviour, it can have a really negative effect on me. I got called a fat cow once by a total stranger (a man) while minding my own business, it made feel really down (not because I was overweight but it felt like such an aggressive gesture by someone I didn't even know), who just happened to pass me by on the street. (I wasn’t even that overweight, maybe a stone but that’s irrelevant). Anyone who thinks such aggressive behaviours towards unsuspecting strangers is funny are probably the types who do it.

As someone who’s just lost 24kg on Mounjaro I can well understand how the comment about you being a fat cow must have hit home.

As a 68 year old granny of 8 who lives a very quiet life and is known for her good manners Im not going to be changing my mind about hoping the shop assistant had a laugh at what happened, just because you think Anyone who thinks such aggressive behaviours towards unsuspecting strangers is funny are probably the types who do it.

Oh and if I think back to when I used to think I was about a stone overweight I was only kidding myself on - it was actually about 2 - 2.5 a and if anyone had called me a fat cow I’d have mooed at them in reply just for the fun of it.

HAL200 · 11/08/2025 09:19

@EllyRoff Have you spoken to him since about it? Now that (I hope) his bowels are in better order 🙄

HelpMeUnpickThis · 11/08/2025 09:53

MyLimeGuide · 10/08/2025 07:51

I think the poster was being sarky. No need to be offended.

@MyLimeGuide

I have no need for you to tell me to be offended or not offended. I am an adult. Thank you.

What a patronising message to me.

MyLimeGuide · 11/08/2025 15:13

HelpMeUnpickThis · 11/08/2025 09:53

@MyLimeGuide

I have no need for you to tell me to be offended or not offended. I am an adult. Thank you.

What a patronising message to me.

What are u talking about i was sticking up for you. But then someone else corrected me that you were actually a moron. My mistake ill try and not be nice in future.

MyLimeGuide · 11/08/2025 15:16

HelpMeUnpickThis · 11/08/2025 09:53

@MyLimeGuide

I have no need for you to tell me to be offended or not offended. I am an adult. Thank you.

What a patronising message to me.

Ah ive just noticed you were the other poster in the quote! Ok your not the moron just a misery guts!!!

HelpMeUnpickThis · 12/08/2025 11:40

IPM · 10/08/2025 09:40

Lol at 'please @ me when you do'.

That poster has made multiple posts explaining their point of view.

They really don't need to come back and take over the OP's thread again 🤦‍♀️

@IPM ok then. Lol. 🙄

HelpMeUnpickThis · 12/08/2025 11:44

MyLimeGuide · 11/08/2025 15:16

Ah ive just noticed you were the other poster in the quote! Ok your not the moron just a misery guts!!!

@MyLimeGuide misery guts?! WTF.

Anyway I'd rather that than be an absolute weirdo who doesn't know how to behave appropriately in Asda. I am also glad I don't have a puerile sense of humour. Hmm

Nearly50omg · 12/08/2025 14:02

Why hasn’t he been back to Asda to apologise profusely to that poor woman he stuck his fingers up at???

Auntiebenita · 12/08/2025 17:42

Weepixie · 11/08/2025 06:55

As someone who’s just lost 24kg on Mounjaro I can well understand how the comment about you being a fat cow must have hit home.

As a 68 year old granny of 8 who lives a very quiet life and is known for her good manners Im not going to be changing my mind about hoping the shop assistant had a laugh at what happened, just because you think Anyone who thinks such aggressive behaviours towards unsuspecting strangers is funny are probably the types who do it.

Oh and if I think back to when I used to think I was about a stone overweight I was only kidding myself on - it was actually about 2 - 2.5 a and if anyone had called me a fat cow I’d have mooed at them in reply just for the fun of it.

My, you sound like a pleasant person…

GentleJadeOP · 14/08/2025 08:15

Sometimes I come on Mumsnet just for the sheer pleasure of watching total strangers arguing with each other. I certainly have not been disappointed at this post! Pass the popcorn 😀

ThatCyanCat · 14/08/2025 09:48

GentleJadeOP · 14/08/2025 08:15

Sometimes I come on Mumsnet just for the sheer pleasure of watching total strangers arguing with each other. I certainly have not been disappointed at this post! Pass the popcorn 😀

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